


Summer Storm

by orphan_account



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Angst, Barebacking, Blow Jobs, Bottoming from the Top, Coming Out, Fingerfucking, Homophobic Language, Humor, M/M, Public Sex, Recreational Drug Use, Rimming, Summer, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-02-05 02:45:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 76,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1802497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur and his friends have been travelling from beach to beach across Europe the summer after leaving college, and are now on their last stop before going back to start uni. Despite the main goal of the trip being to have sex with as many girls as possible, Arthur has managed to avoid outing himself the entire time. That changes when he meets Merlin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> **Minor warnings:** Most characters are 17 (except Gwaine), and are above the age of consent in the UK. Some references to domme/sub and bondage themes, not in the main pairing and all off-stage.
> 
> Many many thanks to [Merlocked18](http://merlocked18.livejournal.com/) who drew an awesome cock for me. Because obviously that's what friends are for. Loads of thanks to [adsullatta](http://adsullatta.livejournal.com/) for the beta. Remaining thanks to anyone who put up with me bitching about how long this ended up being.
> 
> Written for MerlinVacations LJ fest~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Summer-induced stupidity. That was the diagnosis... "
> 
> \- Aimee Friedman, _Sea Change_

“Arthur, you fucking pansy, get over here and help unload!”

Arthur tried not to cringe at the remark as he shuffled down the steps to the cab. He knew Gwaine didn’t mean it—none of his friends really meant the insults they called each other—and what was more, that Gwaine didn’t know the truth. Still, Arthur couldn’t help feeling a little clench in his stomach whenever words like “pansy,” and “nancy,” and “fairy” were thrown around.

“Oi, I’m the one paying for you, aren’t I?” Arthur quipped, shoving Gwaine as he passed him. “I don’t have to lift a fucking finger if I don’t want to. And try to remember you didn’t even leave school with us, you sponger.”

“I’ll keep that in mind the next time you need someone to buy drinks.”

Arthur ignored him, because everyone knew Gwaine was full of empty threats, and that Percival could just buy for them if it came to it. Arthur wrapped his fingers around a bag handle and gave it a good pull to yank it from the boot. The cabbie took care of the last two bags, setting them down by the stairs before slamming the boot shut.

Arthur let the heavy bag in his hand drop to the pavement and dug through his pocket for his wallet. “Thanks, mate,” he said, paying the cabbie, adding a generous tip for putting up with his idiot friends. The cabbie nodded in appreciation as Arthur picked up the bag again.

“Christ, Leon, what do you have in here, hair accessories for your luscious golden curls?” Arthur called out, walking up the short stairs to their rented flat.

He heard Leon’s deep laughter from just inside. It came closer and a few seconds later, Leon himself was in the doorway, his tall frame taking up nearly the entire space.

“Oh, that one?” he said. “Those are books.”

“You’re kidding, right? Why can’t you use one of those eReaders like a normal travelling swot?”

Leon stepped aside so Arthur could enter, not bothering to offer a hand, Arthur noticed. “They’re different. Those are _actual_ books from Italy. Found in an _Italian_ bookshop. Bought from an _Italian_ —”

“Alright, Jesus, I get it. They’re special or whatever.” Arthur dropped the bag by the table in the kitchen. “We decide on rooms yet?”

“It’s Lance’s turn to have his own, so Gwaine’s with Percival and it looks like you’re with me,” Leon said. “But we’ve got the biggest room and it’s got a great view.”

“Brilliant.” Arthur kicked the door shut behind him and looked around for his own luggage. He was sure he’d put it on the sofa. “Did you already—”

“Yeah. C’mon, room’s this way.”

Leon picked up his bag of precious books and Arthur followed him through the small flat to their shared room. This place was the least expensive—and therefore a little more second-rate—of all the places they’d lodged in yet. But Avalon was their last stop before returning to England, where they’d then have to end their glorious summer and grow up to attend their separate universities. And apparently Arthur’s father had never heard of the concept of going out with a bang, because the flat he’d rented for them was part of a two-storey house, and they weren’t even on the top floor.

Even so, the flat wasn’t unpleasant. The room he and Leon would be sharing for their final week of summer even had its own en suite, which couldn’t be said of the other two rooms. Leon had also given Arthur the bed by the window, knowing he sometimes sweat in the night and liked to feel a breeze every so often.

“How’s the food situation, then?” Arthur asked, plopping down onto his bed to get a feel for it. Hmm, a bit bouncy, yet still rather soft. Not bad for second-rate.

Leon only got a few words out before there was a loud knock at the front door. Arthur sprung off the bed and crossed the room.

“Hold that thought. I’ll be right back,” he said.

He ran into Gwaine in the corridor. “I’ve got it, princess,” Gwaine said, patting Arthur’s head. “Don’t want you to have to lift a finger, now do we?”

Arthur swatted his hand away. “Considering I’m the one paying for this place, I think I have a right to see who’s at _my_ door.”

They kept shoving each other all the way to the door, and were still trying to get last-minute blows in when Gwaine opened it. They only barely composed themselves to greet the person on the other side.

It was a boy with dark hair and sea blue eyes, his cerulean shirt a pleasant contrast to his pale skin. He was smiling, showing off a lovely pair of dimples, and his expression brought a certain light to his face, making him seem to glow. His ears were a bit on the large side, but they seemed to fit him, in an odd, endearing sort of way.

Arthur suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe.

 _Oh shit. He’s hot_.

“Hey!” the boy said, waving. Oh God, even his voice did things to Arthur’s insides. It was like someone had dripped honey down his spine, and it’d only been one word. “I’m Merlin. My friends and I are renting the flat above you, and, well, when I heard five fit blokes had just arrived I figured I ought to at least try to fuck one of them. I don’t suppose any of you lot might fancy a go with me?”

Arthur could only gape, because there was no way this boy— _Merlin_ —had just said that, had he? The faint blush across Merlin’s angular cheeks suggested he had. Gwaine burst into loud guffaws, holding his stomach as he bent over from laughing, and Merlin looked to Arthur, one eyebrow raised in question.

So Arthur did the only thing he could do. He started laughing along with Gwaine.

Not quite as hysterical, mind, but a hearty chuckle that left no doubt as to what he thought of the question. Merlin’s smile lessened, changing from one with a full set of teeth to one with simply stretched lips, as he waited patiently for them to stop.

“Okay, okay, Gwaine. Gwaine, calm down,” Arthur urged, putting a hand on his friend’s shaking shoulder. “Let’s just—let’s hear him out, yeah? Go on, Merlin.”

Merlin tilted his head a bit and it was...Wow, it was like a sassy gay stereotype right there in the flesh, with the little swish of his fringe and everything. So of course Gwaine started chortling again. Arthur had to shove him out of the doorway and talk to Merlin on his own.

“Ignore him,” Arthur said, smiling politely. “What were you saying?”

_Please let me hear more of your voice, I beg of you._

“So you’re all straight then?” Merlin asked, raising his eyebrows.

Arthur’s pulse quickened a little, but he nodded. “Yes.”

Merlin stared at him, gaze unwavering, for a few uncomfortable seconds. Arthur started sweating a little. Gaydar wasn’t actually a thing, was it? No, definitely not, that was stupid. There was no way this Merlin bloke could tell from just looking.

Arthur was just about to politely ask if there was anything else Merlin wanted when he was suddenly distracted by a flash of tongue darting out to lick pink, plump lips. Arthur wasn’t sure if he had ever seen anything more sexy in his entire life.

“Are you sure?” Merlin asked.

Arthur tore his eyes from Merlin’s lips to look back up. Was that a smirk? Arthur had seen his fair share of smirking in his seventeen years, ranging from blatantly obvious to deviously subtle, and the tilt of Merlin’s mouth combined with the little sparkle in his eye definitely indicated a smirk.

That cheeky little shit!

Gwaine pushed Arthur out of the doorway, still a little breathless from laughing so hard. “Yeah, yeah, mate, we’re sure. No cocksuckers here.”

Merlin groaned, his expression shifting into disappointment. “Ugh, seriously? I haven’t had any luck all summer. And the last people that were here were an old married couple.”

“Uh, sorry?” Arthur said.

Merlin huffed, blowing air through slightly parted lips. “Alright. Guess I’ll just go tell my friends you’re all painfully hetereosexual.”

Merlin had _friends_? Oh Christ, it was already going to be difficult enough renting under someone that looked like a bloody sex god. How was Arthur supposed to fight temptation when there were _more_ of them?

Gwaine chuckled again. “You do that.”

“Yeah. Bye.” Merlin spun around and shuffled down the steps before turning to jog up the staircase leading to the upper flat. Arthur could hear him up above, opening the door and announcing, “They’re straight!”

“What a fucking weirdo,” Gwaine said, closing the door. “Though I can’t say I blame him. I prefer the more pointed approach myself.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “We know you do, Gwaine.”

“Hey, it’s summer! There’re no consequences in summer.”

“Yeah, right. Just keep your supply of condoms stocked up, mate, and I’m sure your summer consequences won’t follow you into winter.”

Lance walked into the room then, holding up his hands with an exasperated look on his face. “Are we getting food or what? I’m starving.”

“The hell are you asking me for, Leon’s the food man,” Arthur said. “Leon!”


	2. Day 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So it was a crossroads summer, when the universe seemed to stand perilously still like an egg wobbling on a precipice, a regular rite of passage summer that saw us traverse the hazardous divide between the illusions of boyhood and the far more pernicious deceptions of maturity, et cetera."
> 
> \- Sol Luckman, _Beginner's Luke_

Because the universe hated him, Merlin was at the beach when Arthur and his friends went the next day. But Merlin wasn’t alone. He was with his friends, the other people who were renting the flat with him.

And they were girls. Fit girls.

“Okay now that’s just not fair,” Percival said. “Why’s the fairy get to share a flat with four girls that look like _that_?”

Gwaine shook his head solemnly. “He can’t even appreciate the beauty of the one putting sun cream on his bony little back. Do you _see_ the tits on her?”

Arthur swallowed and kept his mouth shut. He was having a hard time breathing again, partly because of the way Merlin’s “bony” back sloped down to an arse that Arthur could see was lovely even under the loose black swimming shorts. But mostly, _mostly,_ Arthur couldn’t breathe because of the dragon tattoo that wound from Merlin’s chest, beneath his armpit, and down around his back.

Arthur had never wanted to trade places with a girl so much in his entire life.

He tore his gaze away from Merlin to look at what Merlin’s other friends were like, certain that his own mates were going to want an opinion of some sort. Besides the girl with light-brown hair (and apparently big tits) rubbing sun cream onto Merlin’s back, there was another fiddling with an umbrella, trying to get it to stand up properly, and another with sunglasses on, reading in a chair. The last one was blond and wet, like she’d just come back from swimming, and was building a sandcastle.

Naturally, everyone started staking a claim.

“The sandcastle one looks nice, but the one reading will do,” Percival declared.

“I would really like if I could get the umbrella girl, please,” Lance said.

“Are we absolutely sure that Merlin bloke is gay?” Leon asked. “Because I want the one putting sun cream on his back.”

Arthur snorted. “He’s gay alright. Not only is he surrounded by girls, but just _look_ at him.”

Leon made a noise of uncertainty. “You can’t always tell by looking.”

“Both of you shut up,” Gwaine ordered. He drew himself up, raising his chin. “I’m going to have them all.”

Leon and Arthur burst out laughing.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute,” Percival said, waving his hands. “There’s five of us and four of them. Unless one of you wants to put makeup on Merlin, we’re a girl short.”

Gwaine nodded. “You’re right.” He threw an arm over Arthur’s shoulder, and Arthur’s stomach lurched. He knew what was coming next. “Since Arthur’s not got any the whole trip, he gets first pick.”

Well, technically Arthur _had_ got some, but Arthur wasn’t going to bring that up. When the rest of them had been high in Amsterdam, he’d snuck out and fucked some bloke in the park whose name he didn’t get. It was the only sex he’d had since before leaving school.

Arthur also didn’t bring up the fact that Merlin would be absolutely perfect for him, if, you know, he ever decided to let himself out of the closet. But they were all looking at him, expectant and waiting, and Arthur had to say _something_.

“Lance hasn’t got any either,” he pointed out. “I don’t mind letting him get first pick, especially after what happened with that other girl.” Lance blushed and there were a few snickers. “Besides, you seem pretty smitten with one in particular, eh Lance?”

Lance practically started glowing. “Seriously? You’re sure?”

Arthur shrugged. “Go for it.”

“Thanks, Arthur,” Lance said graciously, patting him on the shoulder. He jogged over to Merlin’s group, kicking up sand as he went, and Arthur could hear him say to the girl with the umbrella, “Hi. Need a bit of extra strength?”

“So, since Arthur gave up his turn at first, who’s next?” Gwaine asked.

“Me,” Leon and Percival said. Arthur and Gwaine sighed.

“You don’t even know which one you want!” Leon argued.

“Why should that matter?” Percival countered.

They glared at each other a few seconds, then Leon tackled Percival to the ground.

“Same rules as always?” Arthur asked the wrestling pair, amused.

“Y-Yep,” Percival bit out, rolling Leon over to pin him.

“It’s your turn to judge,” Arthur told Gwaine. “Five seconds, remember? Not ten like you thought last time, daft sod.” Gwaine waved off the insult and crossed his arms over his chest to watch Leon and Percival.

Arthur returned his gaze further down the beach. Lancelot had got the umbrella firmly planted in the sand, and the curly-haired girl who’d been fumbling with it was smiling brilliantly at him as they spoke. The girl in sunglasses was still reading, though now the umbrella shaded her from the sun. The blond was still building a sandcastle, but there seemed to be a moat now.

Arthur almost didn’t dare let his eyes shift to Merlin, but it felt as though a magnet was drawing him in. The second he gave in, he wished he hadn’t, because Merlin was staring right at him. Arthur tried to kill the sudden butterflies in his stomach, but couldn’t quite manage it.

The girl who’d been putting sun cream on Merlin before was now laying face down, and Merlin was kneeling beside her, returning the favour. Arthur could see the rest of the tattoo, how the top and the dragon’s head curled around Merlin’s nipple, and he couldn’t stop his mind from wandering. He wanted to map the curves with his hands, with his tongue, wanted to feel the arch of Merlin’s back and hear the breathy moan pulled from his throat. He fucking _craved_ Merlin.

Arthur wished he’d had the foresight to bring his sunglasses. As soon as Merlin realised Arthur was looking back at him, he raised a hand and waved excitedly, his face breaking out into a wide smile.

_No, stop, you’re too fucking beautiful, don’t do that!_

Arthur abruptly looked away. He kicked off his flip flops and started for the water. This was going to be the longest week of his life.

☼ ☼ ☼

The music was so loud that, despite being seated right next to each other on the sofa, Arthur could barely make out what Lance was saying. Arthur didn’t know why Percival insisted on having the volume so high, like they were in some sort of fucking club when really they were in their second-rate flat. But he knew that Percival would just wave him off if he asked if he could turn it down a bit, so he settled for nearly yelling in Lance’s ear.

“Sorry, what?”

“I said her name’s Gwen!” Lance shouted back. “She’s been here the whole summer with her friends. They finished college just like us and it’s their last week away before going back to England as well. But instead of going to uni like the others, she’s going to work with her father.”

“Yeah? That’s good of her.”

Gwaine plopped down on Arthur’s right, handing them each a plastic shot glass. “Oi, what happened, Lance? You didn’t introduce us today. You were our way in!”

Arthur raised the cup to his lips and threw the shot back, swallowing the bitter liquid quickly. He felt the buzz almost instantly, but he’d need another—maybe even two, depending on whatever drink Gwaine had given him—if he wanted to feel it properly.

“Yeah, I know, sorry, wasn’t thinking,” Lance apologised. “But they’re just upstairs. I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of them the rest of the week.”

Gwaine leaned over, crossing into Arthur’s personal space to get to Lance, and the proximity made Arthur suddenly too warm. He could feel Gwaine’s hair on his nose.

“What?” Gwaine yelled. “Speak up!”

“I said we’ll see them again!”

_Too close, too close_ , Arthur panicked. It wasn’t even that he was attracted to Gwaine—because ew, gross—it was just that it was too fucking weird having Gwaine practically across his lap like that. Gwaine didn’t even know what he was doing, what he _could_ do, or what the gesture could mean to Arthur if Arthur did think of Gwaine that way. The fact that he could smell Gwaine’s hair and feel the warmth of his body on his own was too much.

Arthur pushed Gwaine off and got to his feet. Oh God, that was so much better, and he felt like he could breathe again. He crossed the room to the kitchen table where various bottles of spirits were open and poured himself another shot. He drank it as quickly as the first then did another.

Five minutes and three shots later, the music was a dull roar in his ears, and he’d even got used to it. Or maybe that was the alcohol. Everything was rather blurry, and after taking a shaky step, he mentally declared, _I am drunk. I am very much, without a doubt, undeniably plastered. Excellent._

And then he laughed, because how stupid was that, and who was he even talking to? Himself?

Arthur took another series of steps forward, not sure exactly where he was heading but figuring he ought to sit down somewhere. He heard Percival’s booming laughter over the music and the sound danced around in his head as he fought against the spinning sensation threatening to make him tilt sideways.

Arthur was in the doorway between the living room and the corridor when suddenly a large mass of body heat was in front of him. It happened so fast that Arthur swayed on his feet, finally losing his carefully kept balance.

“Whoa, Arthur, hey!”

Strong hands latched onto Arthur’s forearms, preventing him from falling, but not from ending up with his face pressed against a very firm, very comfortable chest. The t-shirt was made of grey cotton and was stretched across hard muscle and it was really quite lovely.

_Wow, that’s...really nice,_ Arthur thought, dazed. He could sort of stay here forever. Whoever it was, was obviously fit, and Arthur hugged the body a bit closer. He wondered what it would be like to have all this muscle and weight holding him down, crushing him with its heat. The hands still clutching his arms felt a little like claws, and he just bet they wouldn’t be gentle when forcing his legs open and—

“Ahaha, Arthur, mate, you okay?”

Arthur jerked back, blinking quickly to get rid of the haziness as well as the fantasy. “Huh, what?”

Oh shit, it was Leon. Arthur hadn’t just been...about _Leon_? He’d all but groped his best friend, the bloke he’d practically grown up with for fuck’s sake!

Leon chuckled, setting Arthur upright against the wall. “I think you just fell asleep on my chest. So again I ask: are you okay?”

Arthur rubbed his eyes and forced some calm into his tone, and into his traitorous body. “I am so fucking out of it right now, I don’t even...”

“Yeah, I see that. Go sit down before you kill yourself.”

“Right.”

Arthur slowly made his way back to the sofa and sank onto it, his head spinning a little from the change in height. He leaned heavily over the armrest, groaning.

Arthur alternated between closing his eyes and watching the muted actors on the telly on the wall in front of him. He was finally beginning to feel like he could walk without toppling over when there was a heavy pounding on the door.

“Oh no, princess, don’t you lift a finger,” Gwaine taunted, wagging a finger at Arthur. How the hell was he still so...so fucking _bouncy_ even after all the drinking he’d done?

It was the blond from the beach, Merlin’s friend who’d been building a sandcastle. She looked decidedly less carefree and happy now, though. Her frizzy blond locks were collected in a messy bun on the side of her head, and she wore grey joggers with a tight, pink sleeveless shirt that had her boobs just about fit to burst. Her hands were on her wide hips and her eyes shone with fury.

Arthur closed his eyes again. She reminded him of a blond Morgana, and he was certain the yelling was about to start.

He was right. Gwaine hadn’t even got out a proper greeting when she shouted, “Turn. That fucking music. _Down!_ ”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Gwaine said, holding up a hand. “There’s no need for such language here. And why the angry face? You can join us if you like, you know.”

“Did you not hear me? I don’t want to join you, I want the music down. I’m not even telling you to turn it off, I just don’t want to bloody hear it from all the way upstairs!”

Arthur felt weight shift on the sofa and opened his eyes. Percival had pushed himself up to walk to the door, and it could really only end one way.

“Listen,” Perce said, “if it’s really bothering you that much, just put some earplugs in, yeah? It’s just a little music.”

“Just a little _music_?” she echoed, her voice going high. “It’s almost three in the morning! And I don’t have any earplugs!”

Percival shrugged. Arthur knew that that meant ‘Not my problem,’ but that Perce wasn’t saying it aloud because she _was_ a girl, after all. If it’d been a bloke, both he and Gwaine would have been much more blunt. Still, Arthur wished they’d listen to her. He’d hated the volume from the beginning.

With a peppy “Goodnight!” Percival shut the door on her, leaving her gaping and furious on the doorstep before turning the lock. Arthur cringed, shutting his eyes again as Perce came back to the sofa. Poor, nameless, blond girl. Arthur didn’t say anything though, because it would hardly make a difference.

Lance didn’t seem to feel that way. “Maybe we _should_ turn it down just a bit, guys,” he said.

Leon laughed. “You’re just saying that because she’s friends with your darling Gwen.”

Lance didn’t deny it, and Arthur couldn’t blame him. He wondered how Merlin felt about the noise they were making down here and suddenly felt even more guilty.

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” Arthur heard Gwaine say. “It’s when we get the _second_ warning that we should worry.”

As though on cue, there was another hard knocking on the door. Arthur opened his eyes again, wondering who they had sent this time. His heart began beating a little faster as he foolishly, _foolishly_ hoped—

It was. Percival opened the door and Arthur could make out Merlin’s hairy legs from behind his giant of a friend. And because it was large, intimidating Percival, Merlin started out a bit soft-spoken, not nearly as demanding as the blond had been.

“Uh, hi. Yeah,” his low voice said, barely audible over the music. “You sort of really upset my friend Elena just now and...”

Arthur’s bleary mind tuned out the rest. He was too focused on leaning over to get a better view, wondering what colour shorts Merlin was wearing. Was he, like the blond girl, dressed for what appeared to be bed, and was he wearing a shirt or not? He wanted to see Merlin’s face as he spoke, wanted to see those lovely lips shape the words, and see his fringe swish to the side as he did that subtle flamboyant head gesture he probably wasn’t even aware of doing. Arthur just wanted to _see_ , dammit.

And then Percival stepped sideways a little, lowering his arm from where it held the door open, and Arthur saw that Merlin was wearing brown shorts with a plain black t-shirt. He was speaking much more loudly now, his brow furrowed in annoyance, and his right hand was waving through the air. He looked about a second away from placing the other hand on his hip and cocking it out to the side. Arthur hoped Merlin didn’t do that. It would only make things worse for him.

“Uh huh. Yeah. I understand,” Percival said, nodding. Then he slammed the door on Merlin as well.

Because Perce didn’t immediately lock the door like he had with the girl, Merlin was able to quickly open it again, but that proved useless when Perce just pushed it closed. He held it shut easily with one hand, even as Merlin tried pushing against it, and turned back to Gwaine and the others, rolling his eyes.

Merlin’s muffled yelling came from the other side, accompanied by angry banging and kicking. Percival mimicked the words in a high-pitched, yapping voice, waving his free hand about and swivelling his wrist in a much more exaggerated fashion than Merlin had.

“Like let me in, you’re being _so rude_!” Percival joked. Arthur felt a little sick when everyone else laughed. “Oh my _God_ , turn down the bloody music, or I’ll...I’ll cut you!”

Arthur stood up, unable to endure their crooked humour without at least one more drink. He was entirely too sober for this, and walked to the table for one last shot.

The banging and shouting behind the door stopped before Arthur even reached his destination. He fought the urge to look out the window as he poured his drink. His chest felt heavy, but maybe that was from the spirits. It couldn’t be anything else. Certainly not guilt.

Arthur tossed back his drink, hating himself wretchedly. It _should_ be guilt. He should feel horrible and disgusted with himself. If his friends knew his secret, they’d probably treat him with as much respect as they did Merlin. It would be him they’d be laughing at and calling a poof and a cocksucker. The five of them had had great times together, but none of that would matter once they learnt he liked taking it up the arse. So Arthur kept his mouth shut and pushed down the angry, boiling, sickness.

Despite the drink, Arthur still felt a little suffocated, and the loud music certainly wasn’t helping. He needed air, room to breathe, and not just because his friends’ homophobic behaviour wasn’t rolling off him as easily as it usually did.

He thought about announcing that he was going to sit outside for a bit, but looking at the others where they were talking—something about Italy and the girls at the nude beach—he figured they probably wouldn’t even notice his absence. Arthur slipped out the front door, making sure to keep it unlocked for his re-entry.

Stepping out into the summer night air was exactly what Arthur had needed. He took a deep breath and leaned against the railing on the porch, curling his hands around the wood to keep from swaying. Maybe that last shot hadn’t been the best idea, but at least out here there was no chance he’d bump into one of his friends and risk feeling them up.

After a few minutes of just breathing, Arthur turned to look through the window to see if the others missed him yet. It seemed they hadn’t. He turned back around.

The music _was_ loud, even from out here. Arthur could feel the bass pulsing at his back. It would probably go on for only about another hour, though. Even Gwaine got tired at 4am.

Arthur’s gaze fell on the staircase to the right of the porch. What was it like up there, in Merlin and his friends’ flat? Did Merlin have his own room, or did he share with one of the girls? Arthur had always kind of wondered what it’d be like to be considered a non-threat by females, for a girl to undress in front of him or to ask for sun cream put on her back, knowing that it didn’t do anything for him. It was strange and odd and all kinds of uncomfortable when his own friends undressed to change into their swimming shorts and he suddenly didn’t know where to look. It must be nice not having to worry about accidently groping one of your friends when you got a little too pissed.

On a whim, Arthur decided he’d just go up to have a quick look. He checked the window again—nope, still not being missed—before carefully descending the porch steps and turning to walk up the stairs.

He told himself he was only going to check to make sure they weren’t doing anything worth getting quiet for. If they were just watching a film or something, Arthur wouldn’t care, but if the lights were out and they were actually trying to sleep, he’d go back down and make a big scene about being knackered or something to get Percival to turn the music off.

He felt like a creep as he crouched by the window, but the streetlamp was throwing light into the otherwise dark living room and he didn’t want his shadow to cross the path. As soon as that feeling passed though, Arthur could hardly catch his breath, and had to put a hand to the wall to steady himself.

Merlin was laid out on the sofa-bed, sprawled on top of the duvet. The only thing he was wearing was a pair of green flannel boxers, and because his knee was hitched up from tossing and turning, the fabric was high on his thigh. Arthur could see the definite beginnings of supple flesh, and that was not even taking into account the already delicious curve of Merlin’s arse.

It was like a bloody feast before Arthur’s eyes, all that pale skin aching to be touched, and that _arse_...Arthur wanted to bury his face in it, get lost between the cheeks and drive Merlin wild before finally shoving his cock inside. And Merlin was _right there_ , already half naked and practically begging to be fucked. Merlin had already expressed an interest on the first day. All Arthur would have to do is open the door and slip inside.

Arthur’s heart stopped when Merlin suddenly rolled over onto his back and then to his side, curling up a little. Arthur could see the curve of Merlin’s spine, and the dragon tattoo seemed to dance as Merlin shifted into a more comfortable position. Merlin couldn’t seem to find a suitable way to sleep and finally just lay flat on his back. Arthur could almost hear the huff of exasperation as Merlin’s chest heaved with a heavy breath.

Arthur was already hard—that was a given—but he hardened even more at the sight of Merlin’s front, and this time it wasn’t just the tattoo. What did Merlin’s cock look like? Was it as pale and skinny as the rest of him, or was he the sort to be deceptively thick? Arthur couldn’t help but imagine himself laying between those pale thighs and hairy calves and taking it into his mouth. He could practically already feel Merlin’s fingers in his hair, see the wide “O” of Merlin’s glorious lips as Merlin gasped for air.

Arthur palmed the aching bulge in his shorts and stifled a moan. He’d never wanted someone so much in his entire life, and he hadn’t even said more than a couple sentences to the bloke. What the hell was Merlin _doing_ to him?

Arthur’s plastered mind was still contemplating the consequences of having a wank right here and now when someone else entered the living room from the doorway at the right of Merlin’s sofa-bed. It was the girl with dark hair who’d been reading on the beach, only now she wore just a large red t-shirt that barely came down to the top of her thighs.

Her voice was muffled through the glass, but Arthur could hear her. “ _Merlin_ ,” she said firmly.

Apparently that was all she needed to say, because Merlin sat up. Arthur ducked back a little to hide, but Merlin had turned his head to speak to her. “I tried, Freya,” Merlin was saying. “They didn’t listen, and I don’t think anything I say will make them. It can’t go on forever, I’m sure they’ll go to bed soon.”

Freya crossed her arms over her chest, making her shirt rise to reveal a piece of black and red striped knickers. She looked decidedly unimpressed with Merlin’s explanation, and even had a challenging eyebrow raised. Arthur almost laughed, then remembered himself. But she was so small, and had looked so short and innocent until that point.

Merlin groaned and shuffled to the end of the bed, picking up his brown shorts from the floor. “Fine, I’ll try again. But this is the last time. I don’t need a bunch of posh, drunken, hetero idiots laughing at me like I escaped from some sort of fairy zoo.”

Arthur panicked when he realised Merlin was shoving his legs into his shorts to go back downstairs and talk to his friends. He darted back down the steps as quietly as he could, nearly falling from his uncoordinated feet, and had only just made it onto the bottom porch when he heard the upstairs door open.

The door back into his own flat was locked.

_Don’t panic, just stay calm._

But those were definitely Merlin’s footsteps coming down the stairs, and Arthur still had that unfortunate erection from spying on him—like a creep. Arthur only barely had the coherence to act quickly. He sat down in one of the chairs and rested his arms over his lap to hide the state of himself, leaning back to make it look like he’d been there a while.

Merlin halted at the bottom step when he saw Arthur. Arthur had to force himself to breathe and to keep his eyes up. Merlin’s hair was dishevelled—but still hand-running-through-worthy—and he hadn’t bothered to put a top on before coming down this time, so he was there in all his tattooed, sparsely-haired, bare-chested glory. Arthur’s heartbeat sped up as Merlin warily approached, and he wished he was more sober so he could at least feel like he was putting on a decently stoic expression. As it was, he felt like he just looked nervous.

“I’m locked out,” Arthur said by way of explanation.

Merlin arched a brow, looking more than a little amused. “Are you now?”

“No need to look so happy about it.”

Merlin did look happy though, and his slight smile only stretched wider. “How’d you get locked out?”

“Honestly, I stepped outside for like, five minutes, and then when I went to go back in, the door was locked.”

“Did you try knocking?”

“They probably thought I was you. That or they didn’t hear me.”

Merlin’s smile faltered. “Yeah, loud music’ll generally lead to problems like that.”

He ascended the steps and plopped into the chair next to Arthur, like he was making himself _comfortable_. Jesus.

Merlin was quiet for a moment before he announced, “Your friends are dicks, by the way.”

“Guess that means you like them.”

Arthur mentally kicked himself. Why, _why_ had he gone and said that? The idea wasn’t to make Merlin hate him, it was just to keep him off so Arthur didn’t risk doing something stupid with him.

But Merlin surprised him by laughing. It wasn’t a loud laugh, more like a low chuckle, as though he didn’t want Arthur to know he found it funny.

“I’d call them cunts, but my friends are girls and I think they’d chop my bollocks off if they heard,” Merlin said.

“You’re scared of a bunch of girls?” Arthur teased.

“They can be rather frightening, actually.”

Arthur snorted. “I believe it. That blond one was much more intimidating than you when she came down.”

“That’s Elena. She’s usually really nice, but give her a good enough reason and she can go mental. I think it’s because her dad’s rich and she’s used to getting everything she wants. Don’t tell her I said that,” he added quickly.

Arthur laughed. Wow, Merlin wasn’t just fit, he was actually sort of...cute.

_You’re fucked, Pendragon, you’re so fucked!_

“You’re not too bad, though,” Merlin continued, leaning back as he eyed Arthur up and down. Arthur felt like Merlin had physically touched him, and his cock twitched from the intense scrutiny.

Arthur swallowed. “Why, because I don’t call you a poof to your face?”

Merlin’s eyes narrowed a bit. “Yeah. Because of that.”

Arthur shrugged a single shoulder. “I know Gwaine and Percival can be cruel, but they just speak without thinking and don’t have any manners. Leon and Lance are good lads.” And because that was the perfect opportunity to steer the conversation elsewhere, Arthur took it. “So, you know, Lance wouldn’t be insensitive or anything. If he does end up getting close to one of your friends. I’m sure there wouldn’t be any...conflict.”

Merlin’s brow raised again, the slight amusement back in his face. He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, and Arthur looked away, back down at his hands.

“He’d be tolerant?” Merlin asked, still sounding amused.

Arthur nodded without looking up. “Yeah.”

“Is he tolerant of you?”

Arthur felt like he’d been punched in the stomach, and he did raise his eyes at that. “Wh-What? I’m not—”

“What’s your name?”

It was like Arthur’s brain short-circuited and his tongue felt dead. “Arthur...”

Merlin looked at him evenly. “Right. Arthur. You might fool those oblivious sods in there, but it takes one to know one, and—”

“No!” Arthur yelled, bolting from his seat. “That’s—No. I was...I was being _nice_ , but I can be just as straightforward as Percival about what I think of you if that’s what you want. I think you’re a skinny little pansy with stupid-looking ears, and everything about you disgusts me!”

A dagger through the heart would have hurt less than how the look on Merlin’s face made Arthur feel. Arthur had seen those perfect features in a bright smile, a teasing smirk, a sleepy pout, and now in an anguished frown. The same boy who’d grinned and waved at him that very day on the beach, now looked as though he was cycling rapidly between hurt and anger.

Merlin’s eyes lowered and suddenly his face smoothed out. Arthur only had two seconds to wonder what Merlin was doing before Merlin was on his feet and stepping closer. Arthur sprang back, hitting the wooden railing and nearly falling over.

“I disgust you, do I?” Merlin said, leaning in. Fucking hell, he’d lowered his voice, and that tone was utterly sinful. It should have been illegal to sound so hot and threatening. “Tell me, _Ar_ thur. Do you usually get hard from looking at things that disgust you?”

Arthur glanced down and— _Shit_ —sure enough, there was the tent in his shorts betraying him. Merlin chuckled and put his hands on the railing, bracketing Arthur between his arms and taking up all of Arthur’s senses.

“I’m drunk, that’s all. Don’t touch me, you fucking fairy,” Arthur snapped.

Merlin’s lips curled up in a sideways grin, and he leaned in close enough that Arthur could see the individual flecks of blue in his irises.

“I’m not touching you,” Merlin nearly whispered. “But I bet you want me to. Don’t you, _fairy_?”

Arthur did want. He so, _so_ , dearly wanted. He wanted Merlin’s hands, his mouth, his cock. He wanted Merlin to spin him around and lean him over the railing and take him right there. He wanted Merlin’s lean body pressed against his, wanted to feel the rough slide of Merlin’s skin. He was almost shaking with how badly he wanted this infuriatingly sexy boy.

And Merlin’s face was getting closer. Arthur could feel Merlin’s breath on his lips and the warmth of Merlin’s body as it further entered his space. He knew that the instant Merlin touched him, he’d be done for. He was barely sober enough to resist now.

Arthur thrust his arms out, shoving a surprised Merlin back. “Get the fuck away from me!”

“Tell them to turn off the fucking music!”

“What?” Where did that even come from?

Merlin shook his head, laughing hollowly. “You want to deny yourself, fine. That’s not my problem. But that music is, and none of us can get to sleep up there. So finish having your gay crisis, go back inside, and make them quiet down.”

“I’m not having a crisis. And you can’t tell me what to do.”

“Yeah? You don’t care if I knock on the door then?” Merlin asked, walking over and raising his fist. “I’m sure they’ll love seeing you out here with a hard-on just because the gay bloke from upstairs came down without a shirt.”

Arthur took two strides and grabbed Merlin’s wrist. “Don’t.”

Merlin snorted. “Thought so. Like I said, tell them to turn the music off and we won’t have a problem.”

“For fuck’s sake, _fine_.” Arthur dropped Merlin’s wrist and pushed him out of the way. “I was going to tell them to anyway, you don’t have to be such an arse about it.”

Arthur turned around, facing the door, and tried to subtly adjust his shorts so the tenting wouldn’t be quite so obvious. He looked over his shoulder and saw Merlin still standing there, arms crossed as he waited.

“I’m gonna do it, you know, you don’t have to stay down here,” Arthur said.

Merlin didn’t move. He just blinked, staring at Arthur silently.

“They probably won’t listen to me if they see you,” Arthur pointed out.

Merlin snorted again, this time rolling his eyes, and his head did that tilting thing. “Right, because they’ll think the poof influenced you or something, and then they’ll turn the volume up even more just to make a point.” Arthur didn’t say anything, because Merlin was probably right. “How about this. I’ll wait on the stairs, and if after three minutes the music’s still on, I’ll come back down in just a pair of y-fronts, and everyone’ll see how you—”

“I said I’d do it, didn’t I? You don’t have to wait on the stairs or...or do that or whatever.”

Merlin laughed. “Oh my God, you’re actually blushing. If you weren’t such a giant prat, I’d even think you were adorable.”

Arthur felt his face heat even more, despite his best attempts to stop it, and glared at Merlin hatefully. “I am _not_ —”

“Yeah, yeah. Just get them to turn the music off. Goodnight, Arthur.” He threw a wave over his shoulder and went back up the stairs two at a time.

Arthur sighed. _You’re so fucked, Pendragon._


	3. Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Summer flings always seemed amazing in movies, though that might be because the leading man did not ever call his romantic interest 'dude.'" 
> 
> \- Thomm Quackenbush, _Artificial Gods_

Arthur woke up to a sharp pounding in his head and groaned. The terrible thing about having the bed next to the window was, even though the breeze was nice, the brightness wasn’t. And it was too hot to bury his head under the duvet, so all Arthur could do was throw his sweaty arm over his face and squeeze his eyes shut.

He could hear the sounds of life both inside the flat and out. There were birds chirping outside, along with faraway conversations and revving autos, and of course the crashing of the waves on the beach. Inside, there was the sound of someone in the shower, footsteps in the corridor, and what must have been cartoons in the living room.

Arthur took a deep breath. Despite the ache in his skull, it was kind of nice just laying here. There was no hurry, it was summer, and life was on hold, at least for the moment. Between chasing foreign girls, visiting countless beaches that all felt the same, and getting spectacularly pissed, Arthur’s friends had hardly allowed him peaceful moments such as this.

The sound of the shower stopped and about a minute later, the door to the en suite opened. Against his better judgement, Arthur looked from under his arm and saw Leon dripping wet wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, beads of water sliding down his muscled chest. Arthur held his breath as Leon crossed the room to his luggage and picked out the first clean clothes he laid his hands on.

Arthur rolled over toward the window, shutting his eyes again. It was wrong, so wrong. He didn’t even like Leon that way, but that didn’t change the fact that Arthur still felt dirty just by looking.

“Hey, Arthur, you awake?” Leon asked. “I put some paracetamol by your bed and the shower’s yours if you want it.”

“Nnnn. Thanks, Leon. I still need about ten minutes, though.”

“Yeah. Gwaine’s still asleep, too. Don’t think he’s waking up ‘til after lunch.”

“What time is it?”

There was a pause as Leon checked. “Nearly half eleven. Lance’s making something to eat if you’re hungry.”

Arthur chuckled into his pillow. “You skived off your job, eh?”

“My job’s to get the food, not to make it.”

“Yeah, whatever. He’s a better cook anyway.”

“Exactly. Works out for everyone involved.”

Arthur heard the shifting of fabric as Leon dressed, and forced himself not to move for just a few more seconds. He sorely needed that paracetamol, but wasn’t going to risk catching a glimpse of his best friend’s arse in the process of getting it from the nightstand. When he finally heard the sound of a zip, he sighed and rolled over.

By the time Arthur was out of the shower, Percival had woken up, but Gwaine was still sleeping like the dead. Arthur wandered into the kitchen-living space, his hangover finally fading a bit, and sank onto the sofa. There were, in fact, cartoons on the telly, and Percival seemed to be watching intently as he munched on cereal.

“What the fuck is this?” Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow at the characters depicted.

“I don’t even know. Something about a gumball,” Percival said, monotone and with his mouth full.

Arthur let his head fall back and watched the screen. He had no idea what was going on in the show, but he couldn’t look away.

“Oh, by the way,” Perce said during an advert, “watch out for Lance. He’s in a mood.”

“I am not!” Lance yelled from the cooker.

“He thinks the love of his life hates him because he’s—quote—associated with us insensitive tossers.”

“She does!” Lance claimed, looking over his shoulder. “There’s no way she’ll speak to me after the way you plastered idiots treated her friends. Thanks a lot!”

Percival rolled his eyes. “You’ll fall in love again, Lance, it’s just some girl. You probably won’t even see her after this week.”

Lance’s only response to that was to sigh dramatically. Leon, sitting at the table that was still littered with empty bottles, swallowed his mouthful of bacon and sat up.

“You know, Lance was our way in with those girls,” he pointed out. “If we’ve lost our anchor, we’re gonna start floating away.”

“What is it with you and metaphors?” Perce asked.

“He’s right, though,” Arthur said. “If we can’t get chummy with one, we can’t get chummy with the others.”

Lance turned away from the cooker, bearing a serving plate of eggs that he put on the table, and pushed aside plastic shot glasses. “What we _should_ do, is apologise.”

Leon nodded. “That’s exactly what we should do. Turn the charm on, be regular old gentlemen about it, you know?”

“You _were_ kind of a dick last night, Perce,” Arthur said.

“Alright, alright, no need to gang up on me, for Christ’s sake. We’ll all go up there when Gwaine’s awake. Now shut up, Gumball’s back on.”

☼ ☼ ☼

“You should knock, Arthur, you’re charming and all that shit,” Percival whispered as they stood at the door.

“Uh, thanks? But I think Lance should be the one considering he actually knows one of them,” Arthur said. _Plus, Merlin hates me and knows I’m gay and I really just want to be in the background for this entire confrontation_ , he mentally added.

“It doesn’t matter who knows who if they think we’re _all_ twats,” Leon said.

“Will one of you knock?” Gwaine hissed. “This is ridiculous.”

Nobody moved, so Gwaine stepped forward, sighing as he rapped his knuckles on the door.

It was the blond, Elena, who answered. “You have to be fucking kidding me,” she deadpanned.

From inside, Arthur heard Merlin’s laughter, and hated the way it made his pulse race. “It’s them, isn’t it?” Merlin asked. “What did I say? You owe me ten quid.”

Elena ignored him. “What do _you_ lot want?”

Gwaine cleared his throat and took a gentlemanly bow, giving his most charming smile. Leon threw Arthur a look, rolling his eyes, and Arthur bit his cheeks to keep from laughing.

“Sincerest apologies for our behaviour last night,” Gwaine said. “We were remarkably under the influence and therefore incredibly impolite. Some more than others,” he finished, obviously meaning Percival.

Elena crossed her arms and stared at the five of them unblinkingly and unimpressed. Behind her, one of the other girls entered the living room, and Arthur saw it was the umbrella girl with the curly hair. The love of Lance’s life, Gwen.

“Elena? Who’s at—Oh,” Gwen said. Her eyes widened briefly before looking down nervously, and she smiled shyly.

“H-Hello Gwen,” Lance said, sounding like he was holding his breath. Percival stuck a finger out and poked Lance sharply in the back, prodding him forward. “We, um, came by to apologise for last night. There was really no excuse for how we acted.”

Gwen’s face lit up. “Oh, no, it’s okay. We’ve all been drunk and done stupid things before.”

Elena spun round, her expression shifting into disbelief. “Gwen!”

Arthur suddenly felt like he had to hold his breath the same as Lance, because Elena’s movement had brought Merlin into view, where he was lounging on the sofa looking at his mobile. He was propped up on an elbow, his head in his hand, and one of his legs bent at the knee with his foot on the cushion. Arthur remembered their late-night encounter much too vividly for someone who’d been in his state of mind, and seeing Merlin laid out of the sofa just made him sweat even more. At least Merlin was wearing a top at the moment.

And then Merlin looked up from his mobile and fucking grinned at him.

Arthur glared back. Ugh, that cheeky little shit!

“I mean, well, they did apologise,” Gwen said. “And we _have_ all been pissed before. You know how you get when you—”

“Okay, okay,” Elena stopped her. She turned back to them, looked them up and down, and said, “I guess we forgive you. _If_ you apologise to Merlin, too.”

Percival scoffed. “You want us to—”

Gwaine elbowed him in the side. “Of course.”

Elena stepped aside, allowing them to come in. Arthur entered last and tried to subtly hide behind Leon with as much dignity as possible. He focused on looking around the flat, and found it to be much the same as their own downstairs, with the table, cooker, and cupboards all in the main living area.

There was the creaking sound of springs as Merlin sat up on the sofa. Arthur caught sight of another girl peeking from behind the wall, recognised her as the one who put sun cream on Merlin’s back, and offered her a smile. She crept out and stood next to Gwen, eyeing their group warily.

Gwaine cleared his throat. “Right then. Merlin, you have our sincerest apologies,” he said. He didn’t bow this time, but he did tilt his head forward a bit. Arthur was a little surprised Gwaine went to the effort. He must have really wanted a go with these girls.

Arthur was still hid partially behind Leon, but heard Merlin’s huff all the same. “You’re not the one who slammed the door in my face,” Merlin said.

Gwaine sighed and pushed an incredulous Percival forward. “Apologise like a man,” Gwaine muttered. “And don’t fuck it up.”

Leon shifted suddenly, bringing the whole scene into view. The only thing that stopped Arthur from taking two steps to the left to hide again was the fact that Merlin glanced at him, pinning him to the spot.

“Okay,” Percival started. “Merlin. I’m sorry for slamming the door in your face. It was, er, impolite.”

Merlin stood up, the sofa creaking again, and looked Percival up and down. He placed a hand on his hip and walked around—no, _strutted_ around—Percival’s tall, muscular body, making a “hmm” noise while he did it. Percival was obviously tense and uncomfortable under Merlin’s gaze, and everyone else was clearly wondering just what the hell Merlin was doing.

When Merlin got back around to Percival’s front, he stood with his hip cocked out, just the way Arthur had hoped he wouldn’t do last night.

“You know, you really offended my delicate homosexual feelings last night,” Merlin said. But that wasn’t his voice. His voice wasn’t nearly as nasal as that. Arthur bit his cheeks to keep from laughing. “But I guess I forgive you. Considering you’re like, totally fit and all.”

He finished with the most ridiculous hand wave and eye roll that Arthur had ever seen, and then Arthur really couldn’t help it anymore. He burst out laughing.

For a moment it was just him, and his laughter seemed to echo through the flat. Leon even stared at him, wide-eyed, like he couldn’t believe Arthur was being so insensitive. That just made it even more funny, and Arthur had to hold his stomach.

Then Merlin started snickering as well, because apparently he could only keep up his offended, flamboyant appearance for so long. The girls obviously knew that that hadn’t really been Merlin, but didn’t start laughing until Merlin did. Once everyone else saw Merlin was actually joking, they finally joined in.

Except Percival, who crossed his arms and didn’t find it funny in the slightest.

“Everything’s good, then?” Gwaine asked, looking at each of their faces.

Elena nodded. “Everything’s good.”

“And, you know, we _have_ been here the whole summer,” Gwen said. She tried to look at all of them, but it was obvious her gaze kept coming back to Lance. “We could, maybe, show you all around? We know the best restaurants and shops. As long as you promise to keep the noise level reasonable in future.”

“We promise,” Lance said instantly.

Elena didn’t look like she much agreed with all of that, but didn’t say anything. It was probably clear to her and the other girls as well how much Lance meant to her.

Gwen smiled brilliantly. “Great.”

Leon cleared his throat meaningfully, giving Lance a little nudge that meant ‘introduce us, you pillock.’

“Oh, right, this is Leon,” Lance began. “Percival, obviously, there. Gwaine, and Arthur.”

“Don’t worry, Gwaine’s actually only nineteen, he just looks like a paedo,” Arthur stated.

Gwaine rolled his eyes. “Cheers, mate.”

“I’ll get Freya,” the shy girl behind Gwen said before darting back into the corridor.

A moment later, the dark-haired girl Arthur saw through the window last night came back in with her, only now she was wearing all black—a black t-shirt with some abstract band design, a black skirt, lots of black eyeliner, and even black lipstick. Up this close, Arthur noticed she had a nose ring.

“I was just pulled away from some intense fucking dialogue, so you all better be fan-fucking-tastic,” she said.

“Freya’s just, um, a bit straightforward,” Gwen said apologetically.

Percival gaped, then leaned over to the closest of them, which happened to be Arthur. “I think I’m in love,” he whispered.

“Perce. She reads _books_ ,” Arthur pointed out.

“I can read, too. We already have so much in common.”

“You’ve met Merlin, of course,” Gwen continued, “and Elena. I’m Gwen. And this is Sefa.”

“Great!” Gwaine exclaimed. “Now that we’ve all been properly introduced, would you ladies, and, er, Merlin, like to join us later tonight? All noises will be kept to appropriate levels, of course, and there’s plenty of alcohol for everyone.”

Freya sighed and disappeared back to her room—at which Percival visibly deflated—and Elena frowned like she loathed the idea but still wasn’t saying anything. Personally, Arthur didn’t want to be anywhere near Merlin at the same time he was near alcohol, but it obviously meant a lot to everyone else, and he could hardly bring himself to disagree when he saw Lance practically had hearts in his eyes.

“I’d like that,” Gwen said. “What do you think Elena?”

Elena shrugged. “Fine, I guess. It’s free beer. Just keep your hands to yourself, alright?” she said, pointing a finger at the five of them.

Gwaine held his hands up. “Hands off, yes m’am.”

“Sefa?” Gwen asked, looking to the girl beside her.

Sefa glanced around nervously, eyes darting from face to face. “I’ll go if Merlin goes,” she murmured.

Naturally, all eyes turned to Merlin.

Merlin sighed. “I can already tell how this is going to go, but fine.” He looked at Percival and grinned. “Just keep your hands to yourself, alright?”

Percival looked horrified. “Ew.”

It was lucky for Perce that Merlin chuckled.

☼ ☼ ☼

Arthur was not hiding. He was just...strategically not leaving the bedroom while everyone else was in the living area drinking. There was a very large difference, at least in Arthur’s mind.

For the most part, he didn’t think he was being missed. There’d been one instance of Leon coming to check on him, but Arthur quickly got rid of him by saying he just didn’t feel well and it was probably from those eggs Lance had cooked earlier. After that, Leon left him alone, and Arthur had gone back to sulking by the window, staring moodily out at the summer night with his headphones on.

It was because of the music in his ears that he didn’t hear Merlin walk around the side of the house, and was surprised to suddenly see him stomping through the grass. Merlin walked through the moonlight into the shadows just beside Arthur’s window, brought his beer to his mouth and held it between his lips, then reached down to undo his zip.

“Oh my God, tell me you’re not about to pee against the side of the house,” Arthur said. “Outside _my_ window.”

Merlin was so caught off-guard that the bottle fell from his lips to the ground, the contents spilling into the grass.

“You prat, you made me drop my beer!” Merlin yelled. “And what’s it to you where I pee? It’s your fault I’m out here in the first place.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Merlin huffed and reached down to pick up his beer, but dirt had got on the top, and he scowled at it, then at Arthur.

“That gem Percival is in the hallway bathroom and the only other one is in your room, but since you’re supposedly ill, I’m not allowed to bother you. Ergo, side of house.”

“You really just said ‘ergo,’ didn’t you? You did. And I thought Leon was bad.”

Merlin tossed his ruined beer aside and walked up to Arthur’s window. He put his hands on the sill and started hoisting himself up.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Arthur asked, taking a step back.

“What’s it look like? I’m coming inside to use your loo. Since obviously you have an unhealthy attachment to the house.”

Merlin grunted and pushed himself up and over, falling gracelessly onto the floor with a loud thud. He groaned and stood up, rubbing his back.

“Oh no, don’t worry about me, I’m fine,” Merlin drawled, limping to the en suite. “Carry on with your self-loathing and I’ll be out in no time.”

Arthur glared at Merlin’s back as he walked into the loo, and even glared at the door after it shut. He put his headphones back in and returned to staring out the window, trying to distance himself from his current situation by focusing on the stars.

By the time he looked back to check if Merlin had left, he saw Merlin himself standing and staring right at him. As Merlin took a few steps closer, Arthur got the same sort of feeling of anticipation one experienced when nearing the top of a rollercoaster that was preparing to go soaring down. There were butterflies in his stomach and he couldn’t catch his breath.

Merlin didn’t come as close as he had the previous night, but he came close enough that Arthur cast a nervous glance at the door. If someone entered right now, the proximity would be difficult to explain, but Arthur couldn’t find it in himself to move, at least not yet. He took out a single earbud so he could hear Merlin speak, then took out the other because Merlin’s voice was the sort that demanded full attention.

“You don’t strike me as confused,” Merlin said. “I thought, maybe, on that first day...But after this afternoon, in our flat, I realised...You know exactly who you are, don’t you?”

Arthur didn’t have to listen to this. He rolled his eyes and moved to put his headphones back in, but Merlin stopped him.

“What?” Arthur snapped. “Yes, I know, okay? It’s nothing new to me, I told you yesterday I wasn’t having a crisis. But you’ve met my friends. It’s not going to happen, so leave me alone.”

Merlin looked at him with sympathy, along with what Arthur thought might be pity. It made Arthur want to shove Merlin away just like he had last night, except harder.

“I won’t tell them, even though I think you should,” Merlin said. “You can trust me.”

Arthur turned his head to look back out the window, mumbling, “Thanks, I guess.”

“Have you ever said it before?” Merlin asked. “Not in your head. It’s different when you say it in your head. Have you ever said it out loud?”

Arthur thought about asking what Merlin meant, but he knew what Merlin meant, and Merlin knew he knew. It’d be pointless to play dumb now.

“Say it,” Merlin prompted.

“I’m not ashamed, Merlin. I just don’t want anyone to know.”

That wasn’t even true, though. Arthur knew that once the summer was over and he got to uni, he wouldn’t care who knew. It was just this particular group of people—and of course, his father, and he supposed his sister’s husband as well—that Arthur didn’t want to know. Anyone else, Arthur couldn’t care less. But _these_ people...Arthur couldn’t bring himself to let them find out. They were his closest friends, but he felt the need to lie to them, to hide who he was.

“So say it.”

Arthur stayed silent, shooting Merlin a glare that meant ‘fuck off.’

Merlin grinned and came closer, close enough that Arthur could smell the beer on his breath. Arthur didn’t think it was even possible for his heart to beat as fast as it was now. He’d thought he was already at the top of the rollercoaster, but apparently he could climb higher, his stomach fluttering so wildly it almost hurt.

When Merlin’s hand alighted on his hip, Arthur thought his heart would burst out of his chest.

“Say it,” Merlin whispered in his ear. “In that lovely posh voice of yours. Say it and I’ll suck your cock.”

Oh God, Merlin hadn’t actually just said that, had he? Merlin’s fingers were curling tighter around Arthur’s hip, so maybe he had. Arthur felt his shorts getting more restrictive by the second, and he had to close his eyes because Merlin was—yet again—taking up too many of his senses.

“Or do you want to suck mine?” Merlin went on. “We could have so much fun, Arthur. And nobody would have to know. All you have to do is say two little words. Then you can do _whatever you want to me_.”

Arthur forced himself to take a deep breath and step back. He opened his eyes again and did his best to spear Merlin with another derisive look.

“You’re the one that showed up the first day practically begging for someone to fuck,” Arthur said. Thank goodness his voice came out as steady as it did, because he was anything but on the inside. He pushed Merlin’s hand from his hip and stepped back again. “You’re hardly in a position to bargain with me.”

Merlin utterly disregarded Arthur’s attempts at putting space between them and came closer. “That was before I found out the truth,” Merlin said, nearly closing the distance entirely. Arthur froze up, his heart in his throat. “That was before I realised that the only person more desperate than me, is you.”

Arthur wasn’t able to help himself. When he felt the brush of Merlin’s fingers over his cock, his shuddered breath turned into a soft moan. He felt Merlin’s hand grow bolder, the fingers wrapping around the hot shaft through the fabric and giving a small squeeze, even as Merlin’s eyes stayed locked with his own.

“Let yourself have it, Arthur,” Merlin whispered into the space between them. “There’s no reason not to.”

Arthur could think of four reasons that were just outside the unlocked door. But then Merlin’s hand didn’t just hold, it _slid_ along the bulge in Arthur’s shorts, palming and stroking, and it felt so good that Arthur’s resolve crumbled in a matter of seconds. Merlin was right. As long as nobody else found out, why the hell shouldn’t he let himself have this pleasure? He wanted Merlin so fucking much it hurt.

Arthur grabbed Merlin’s arms and pushed him down onto the bed so quickly that Merlin fell with an “oof!” He pinned Merlin’s wrists on either side of his head, straddling him with his face hovering just centimetres above. He gave one slow roll of his hips, forward and back, and made Merlin moan just as brokenly as he had.

“If you tell anyone, I’ll fucking end you,” Arthur threatened.

Merlin smiled, the sloppiest, most filthy grin Arthur had ever seen, and it absolutely belonged on Merlin’s face. “Say it, Arthur.”

Arthur swallowed, and somehow it was _this_ that felt like the moment before the fall, before the coaster went plunging down. Arthur had said it in his head hundreds of times, but Merlin was right about that as well. It was different when said aloud. And much more difficult.

Arthur lowered his gaze to Merlin’s lips, because for some reason he couldn’t look Merlin in the eyes. God, he wanted to kiss those lips. They were perfect despite being a little chapped, but then Merlin swiped his tongue over the bottom one, and they suddenly became somehow more perfect. Arthur leaned forward, brushing his own lips across them without really kissing, and feeling unworthy.

“Arthur,” Merlin chided. “Say it.” He bucked his hips up a bit, grinding their groins together impatiently, and Arthur gasped. “Say it and then fuck me.”

“I...”

“Yeah?”

 _Fuck, fuck._ “I’m...”

Merlin hooked a leg around Arthur’s calf and pushed his hips up again, not stopping this time. He writhed under Arthur and rubbed their clothed cocks against each other like he couldn’t help it. Arthur felt the heat and urgency between his legs like an inferno.

“Come on, Arthur, just say it,” Merlin whined, begged. “Don’t you wanna fuck me? I know you wanna feel your cock inside me, ‘cause _I_ wanna feel it, so just come on and—”

“I’m gay, fuck, I’m gay, I’m extremely fucking—”

Merlin surged up and kissed Arthur hard, all lips and no tongue. Arthur let go of his wrists, and Merlin took Arthur’s face in his hands, forced Arthur’s mouth open so he could shove his tongue inside and devour him completely. Merlin tasted distinctly of beer, but Arthur didn’t mind, because the messy slide of the kiss and the desperate friction of their bodies outweighed even the slightest bit of unpleasantness.

Merlin’s hands tugged at Arthur’s shirt, but didn’t make any real progress at getting it off. They moved down to Arthur’s shorts instead, because Arthur was wearing board shorts, and it was much easier to just rip apart a bit of velcro and push down than deal with arms.

Arthur struggled hard not to come the instant Merlin’s hand touched his naked cock. He jerked his hips forward into Merlin’s grasp, panting, “Ah, ah Merlin, that’s—yeah, God, _fuck_.”

“Off, off, off,” Merlin gasped, tugging furiously at his own shorts with his free hand.

They separated for all of six seconds, ridding themselves of clothing before crashing back together like a relentless tide. Arthur wasn’t sure who rolled who over, but after a dizzying amount of revolutions, Merlin ended up on top, and Arthur was fine with that because that’s where he wanted him.

And Arthur now had the answer to his earlier question: Merlin _was_ the sort to be deceptively long and thick. His cock was perfect, it was _perfect_ , and Merlin’s hand wrapping around both of them together, stroking them as he kept up a steady motion of his hips, had Arthur teetering on the edge of climax more than ever.

“God, yeah, Arthur, you want it so badly, don’t you? I know you do, _look_ at you, you fucking love it, and I’ll give it to you. You’re starving for it, and I’ll give you _everything_ ,” Merlin promised, sucking a kiss onto Arthur’s throat. “I know exactly what you need.”

Arthur didn’t even know what to call the sound he made then. It was part broken sob and part moan, because he _was_ starving for it, he was fucking gagging for it, and it felt like Merlin had plugged him into an electrical socket before turning up the voltage.

“Do you— _nnngh_ —Do you have lube?” Merlin asked.

“No, no, I...Most straight guys don’t have lube, it would look—”

“Shit, alright, we’ll just...”

Arthur made a noise in protest when Merlin’s hand left his cock, but then Merlin was sliding down, licking hot stripes over Arthur’s chest as he lowered, and Arthur felt no need to complain then. He wasn’t sure there was anything in the world that would stop him from coming when Merlin finally got to his dick, but he mentally chanted to himself anyway, _Don’t come, don’t come, don’t you dare make a fool of yourself and come_.

He put his fist to his mouth and bit his knuckles when Merlin’s lips slid along the shaft. It was almost too much to watch, Merlin with his long lashes sweeping up as he stared at him, his tattoo winding around his nipple and the side of his body, and the sharp jut of his cheekbones as he puckered his lips. How was it possible to be as beautiful as some divine entity and as sexy as a porn star all at the same time?

 

“Fuck, you have no idea how you look, Arthur,” Merlin said, moving his hand up to cup Arthur’s balls and wrap nimble fingers around the base. “You’re shaking. You’re absolutely _quivering_.”

“Sh-shut up,” Arthur snapped. It lacked heat considering how breathless he was. He tried to reinforce it by grabbing a fistful of Merlin’s hair and pulling him further between his legs.

“Nnn, so needy,” Merlin said, licking up to the tip. Arthur moaned and twisted his fingers tighter in those lovely dark curls. “That’s alright. I like you this way. Much better than that straight, can’t-be-arsed, posh boy act you put on for everyone else.”

“Less talking and more sucking.” Arthur tugged on the roots of Merlin’s hair again, thrusting his hips up a little, and Merlin’s nose pushed into the cleft of his balls.

Merlin chuckled, the throaty vibrations sending shivers up Arthur’s spine. “You have such a nice cock, Arthur. I’m going to ride it next time. But alright, I’ll give you what you want for now.”

Arthur still had the sinful image of Merlin riding him in his mind as Merlin licked up to the tip again and took the head between his lips. Then Arthur had to put almost all his focus on not coming, because the inferno in his groin was just about ready to erupt, the coiling becoming nearly unbearable when Merlin went lower, taking Arthur deeper.

But this was _Merlin_ , the boy with electric blue eyes and the bright smile, the boy Arthur had seen on the beach and laid out deliciously in bed. It was the cute boy, the funny boy, the boy whose voice was honey and whose smile was infectious. And now his mouth was on Arthur, his neck moving like a perfect wave as he sucked and sucked, and there was no way Arthur could last long seeing this stupidly amazing boy between his legs servicing him.

Arthur arched his spine when the tension became too much, throwing his head back so everything in the room was upside down when he finally came. He didn’t expect Merlin to swallow, but the loss of wet heat around his cock was devastating all the same, and he gave another feeble pull on Merlin’s hair, whining high in the back of his throat. Merlin graced him with one last lick, one last gentle suck to the base as Arthur spurted over his stomach.

He’d barely caught his breath when he felt Merlin moving on the bed, his knees on either side of Arthur’s body, straddling him. Merlin’s hand slipped under the back of Arthur’s neck and forced his head up, making Arthur look at him.

“Time to return the favour, Arthur.”

Arthur dropped his gaze to Merlin’s cock. It hadn’t flagged in the slightest since the last time he saw it; if anything it looked harder, precome beading at the tip. Arthur was positively knackered, but he’d thought about this a lot the past couple days, and he wanted Merlin in his mouth more than he wanted to pass out at the moment.

Arthur pushed himself up, making Merlin shuffle back a bit. He put one hand on Merlin’s hip to keep Merlin steady, his fingers digging lightly in the flesh of Merlin’s arse. Merlin licked his lips again, watching with sparkling eyes as Arthur raised his other hand to grab hold of Merlin’s cock.

“Come on me,” Arthur said, looking up at him. “When you finish. I want you to come on me. Not on the bed.”

Merlin’s cock twitched and his brows pushed together. “Oh God, yeah, fuck, okay,” Merlin gasped. “Where do you want it? On your face—”

“On my chest. Just...just on my chest.”

Merlin nodded quickly. “Okay.”

Arthur gave Merlin a few strokes as he looked over his shoulder to check the door was still closed. Now that he was about to put a cock in his mouth, he was much more nervous about someone suddenly walking in on them, and it didn’t help that the window was still open where anyone could stick their head in and see them. Arthur would just make this quick and send Merlin back, and hopefully the others would be too pissed to notice how long Merlin had been gone.

Arthur swallowed the built up saliva in his mouth then lunged forward, taking Merlin in just past the head before sliding back and going forward again. Merlin let out a shaky breath, and his hand gripped Arthur’s shoulder, his hips thrusting as though he couldn’t help it.

If it were any other time, Arthur would go slow and learn the subtle intricacies of Merlin’s cock. He would run the tip of his tongue along the hot skin from base to head, teasing Merlin just as Merlin had teased him. He would go slow, because Merlin’s cock was the type that Arthur loved (he had stared and wanked to his fair share, and he definitely had a type) and because he wanted to hear all the wonderful noises he could pull from those pretty lips.

But there was no time now. He was in a rush, so he sucked Merlin hard and fast, until the muscles in his neck and jaw ached and there was spit dribbling down his chin. His hand on Merlin’s waist held firmly, even as Merlin rolled his hips forward, panting and gasping for breath. Arthur was nearly dizzy from the lack of oxygen getting to his lungs, and he could hardly breathe through his nose because it kept pushing into Merlin’s abdomen, but he made himself take it, went at it like a man possessed, because he loved it too damn much and it sped things along.

“F-Fuck, Arthur, you’re so...Shit, I need a fucking photo, I can’t even believe you’re real,” Merlin panted.

He slid his fingers into Arthur’s hair, urging Arthur on and Arthur moaned at the feeling of warmth on his scalp. He’d never thought much about a hand on his head, but now he thought that he didn’t mind being pet so much. He maybe even kind of liked it and wanted Merlin’s hand to stay there forever.

Arthur felt a bit lost when Merlin suddenly slipped free, and he thought at first that it had been some fault of his own, that he’d pulled back too far. But then he felt the first stripe of hot liquid hit his skin and realised what had happened. Merlin pushed him back until he was laying flat, his body bouncing a little from the fall, and spurted the rest over his chest and stomach. Arthur watched as Merlin’s dick pulsed, and Arthur’s stomach jumped as each consecutive string landed on him. Part of Arthur didn’t want Merlin to stop; he wanted Merlin to cover him with it because he felt like he _needed_ it, but of course there was only so much.

Merlin released another unsteady sigh when he finished, sitting back on his heels and staring down at what he’d just done like he couldn’t believe it. Arthur took breath after breath, feeling the come cooling on his skin, and if he closed his eyes, the feeling of something splattered over his chest and stomach intensified. It was like that morning, when he had lay still and listened to life, and everything was peaceful. He felt so _content_.

And then he started laughing a little hysterically, because he’d just compared the sound of nature to the afterglow of sex.

“Yeah,” Merlin drawled. “You look pretty fucking mental right now, just saying. I’m going to get dressed.”

Arthur forced his laughter into chuckles, then faded off with a sigh and pushed himself up. Merlin had already slipped into his pants and was pulling up his shorts. A passing auto outside brought Arthur back into the moment as he remembered anyone could come in right this second.

“You’re not gonna tell anyone, right?” Arthur asked.

Merlin looked up from buttoning his shorts, eyeing Arthur’s come-spattered body. Arthur suddenly felt the need to cover himself but remained resolutely still.

“I said I wouldn’t,” Merlin replied, his mouth tilting down a little.

“That’s...good. Thanks.”

Merlin bent over and picked up his top, stuffing his arms inside and speaking as he pulled it over his head. “You should tell them, though. Eventually.”

“Merlin—”

“Just say it more. Before you go to bed, in the shower, when you open the fridge. Look at yourself and say it in the mirror. When the time comes, it’ll be easy.”

Arthur glared at him. “I don’t need a bloody life coach, _Mer_ lin. I agreed to fucking you for the week. It’s not like we’re friends.”

Merlin huffed and rolled his eyes. “I don’t know why I even bother. Yeah, you’re right, we’re not friends. I could never be friends with such an arse, and we won’t even see each other again after Saturday.” He swung one leg over the window sill, then the other, and hopped down. “See you around, Arthur.” Arthur listened to Merlin’s footsteps in the grass as he walked back to the front of the house.

He slid off the bed and almost bolted to the loo, picking up his pants on the way. He nearly fell over trying to walk and shove a leg through at the same time, but slowed enough so he could step into one hole and then the other before pulling them up.

He somewhat grimaced when he saw his reflection in the mirror. It wasn’t that the mess on his chest was particularly bad, and he didn’t feel particularly dirty. He just couldn’t believe he’d actually spoken to Merlin in such a tone while he had the boy’s come on his naked body. Maybe he _had_ been a bit of an arse. Merlin had just been trying to help.

Arthur shook his head as he reached for a flannel. No use feeling bad about it now. That’s the way things were going to be anyway. He _wasn’t_ friends with Merlin, and he certainly wasn’t going to end up like Lance, half in love after just _looking_. It was important—no, _essential_ —that Arthur keep in mind the extent of his relationship with Merlin.

Arthur sighed and wiped his chest down, then caught his own gaze in the glass. _Look at yourself and say it in the mirror_ , Merlin had said.

Arthur frowned at his reflection, troubled by the way his stomach lurched at the prospect of saying _it_. He was alone, nobody was there with him, and yet his reflection seemed to be mocking him, staring at him accusingly.

 _I’m gay_ , Arthur thought. _I like cock. I like sucking it, I like it in my arse, and I like kissing blokes. I already know this, I’ve known it for ages. I don’t need to say it out loud._

Arthur stared forward and opened his mouth to try anyway, just for the hell of it.

No words came out. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. His gaping reflection looked so ridiculous that he threw the wet flannel in the sink and fled back to the bedroom.

He found his mobile with music still playing in the headphones on the floor and took it with him to the bed. His fatigue seemed to come back to him all at once as soon as he was prone again, and he put the headphones in his ears, pushing everything else from his mind.

He didn’t need to say it. He hadn’t lied to Merlin—he wasn’t ashamed. That didn’t mean he had to say it.

All of two songs passed before Arthur grit his teeth. It was _bothering_ him now, because he felt like he’d been issued a challenge and couldn’t complete it. He felt the words on the tip of his tongue, lodged in his throat, wanting to come out.

He held it in until he couldn’t take it anymore. Then he buried his face deep into his pillow and screamed it.


	4. Day 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer." 
> 
> \- Woody Allen

The last thing Arthur expected to see when he walked into the living area the next morning was Merlin, Sefa, and Gwen still there, sprawled across various surfaces in their sleep. Sefa was curled up in a ball on the sofa, Gwen was—predictably—leaning on Lancelot’s shoulder, and Merlin was laid out over three of the kitchen chairs pushed together, snoring.

Right. Must have been a good night then.

Arthur walked to the fridge and got out a bottle of water. He rummaged as quietly as he could through the bags of food Leon had left on the table, searching for something breakfast-worthy. He settled on cereal and pulled out the remaining chair to plop down and eat straight from the box.

The sound of the chair sliding across the wood woke Merlin, who promptly fell from his precarious makeshift bed onto the floor with a loud thump.

“Ow. Buggering fuck,” he groaned.

Arthur swallowed a mouthful of water, watching Merlin roll over onto his back and extend his limbs to stretch. He looked like a bloody kitten.

Merlin froze mid-yawn when his eyes landed on Arthur. His mouth closed slowly, and Arthur made a point to munch on dry cereal in as bored a manner as possible while he stared back.

“Morning,” Merlin finally said.

“Morning.”

“You look, er, well. Guess you’re feeling better than you did last night.”

“Yeah.”

“Right. I’m just gonna—”

A piercing scream cut Merlin off. Arthur jumped, the handful of cereal in his hand falling to floor, and the other sleeping people in the living room jerked awake. The sound had come from Gwaine and Percival’s room.

“What the hell was that?” Percival asked from the sofa, rubbing his eyes.

Gwen’s eyes darted around frantically. “Oh no, where’s Elena?”

The door to Gwaine’s room suddenly slammed open, Elena fleeing hurriedly. She was moving so quickly that all Arthur saw was a blur, but he was fairly certain that she had on only pink knickers and nothing else while she held the rest of her clothes over her chest and ran out the front door.

Percival’s eyes went wide, and he stared at the door for a few seconds even after she’d left. “Oh. Wow.”

Gwaine appeared from his room wearing just his pants, ignoring everyone else as he chased after her. “Elena, wait!” He was gone just as quickly.

Gwen rose from the sofa and picked up her flip flops instead of taking the time to slip her feet into them. She looked deeply concerned as she followed after Elena and Gwaine.

“Oh man, good for Gwaine!” Percival cheered. “She looked utterly mortified, but did you see her? Totally fit. Great legs.”

Arthur chuckled. “Can’t say I blame her for running. I’d have the same reaction if I ever woke up next to Gwaine.”

Percival threw his head back and laughed. “Could you imagine, though? Rolling over and seeing his ugly mug in the morning?”

“She’ll have nightmares for days,” Arthur replied, grinning.

Merlin, who’d sat up at some point, leaned back on his hands and sighed wistfully. “I don’t know, Gwaine doesn’t look too bad. Certainly has more muscles than I would’ve thought.”

Percival snorted. “Yeah, you would think that, wouldn’t you, nancy boy?”

Merlin looked from Percival straight to Arthur. Arthur lowered his eyes to the box of cereal in his lap.

“Do you think she’ll be okay?” Sefa asked quietly from the corner. “Last time it happened she was so...”

Merlin twisted his neck to look back at Sefa, and Arthur could tell from the way his face stretched that he was smiling at her. “She’ll be fine. I’m sure Gwen’s handling it.”

Sefa nodded, giving him a wan smile back, and Merlin got to his feet. He dusted off his clothes and looked around before letting out one heavy breath.

“Right then, I’ll be going,” Merlin announced. “Sefa, you coming?”

Sefa unfolded her legs from under her and rose from her seat, nodding again. “Can you help me find my shoes?”

Merlin spun around in place. “Oh, shit, I’ve got to find mine, too.”

Arthur watched, munching silently on cereal, as they looked under the sofa and under the table. Eventually Lance got up and started for the corridor, which was when Percival suddenly sprung up and darted for the empty loo. Lance broke out into a run, shoving Percival sideways, but Percival still got there first, slamming the door shut with a victorious “Ha!”

“Oh my God, Percival, you arse!” Lance yelled. Arthur laughed.

“Great, that’s one shoe, now where’s the other?” Sefa said.

“Check the sofa cushion,” Merlin advised.

Lance trudged back to the living room and sank into one of the chairs Merlin had been using as a bed. He held his hands over his lap and bounced his knees.

“You can use mine, you know,” Arthur said, nodding in the direction of his and Leon’s room.

Lance shook his head. “Leon’s still sleeping. The flush might wake him.”

Arthur chuckled. “You’re too nice for your own good, mate. Leon sleeps like the dead, especially when there’s alcohol involved. Just go.”

“Perce’ll be out in a minute.”

Arthur shrugged and took a long gulp of his water.

“I found mine, Merls, have you found yours?” Sefa asked, holding up two pink flip flops.

Arthur almost choked on his water. She hadn’t just called Merlin that, right? She had a fucking nickname for him? Arthur didn’t know whether to be amused or...No, he was definitely just amused.

Merlin shot him a glare, as though daring Arthur to say something. So then of course Arthur had to.

“Why don’t you check behind the armchair, _Merls_?” Arthur teased. Sefa blushed and looked at the floor, and Arthur felt kind of bad for using her nickname as an insult, but Merlin’s reaction was too good for Arthur to feel bad for long.

Merlin’s nostrils flared in anger and he snapped, “Maybe I will, _Arth_.”

Arthur cringed, making Lancelot burst into sudden laughter. “Can I use that from now on? I’m using that from now on,” Lance declared.

“Don’t even think about it,” Arthur warned. “Or I’ll tell Gwen about what you did in Barcelona.”

Lance paled. “ _Almost_ did. And we all promised we wouldn’t talk about that,” he said, lowering his voice to a whisper.

“I don’t recall any promises being made. I distinctly remember a quick brushing under the rug and an agreement that the topic not be brought up again, but no promises.”

“Oh come on, that’s not fair. You’re going to hold that over me for the rest of my life, aren’t you?”

Merlin edged closer, leaning in conspiratorially. “What’d you do in Barcelona?” he asked, raising a brow.

“Nothing!”

The door to the hallway bathroom opened and Percival came out. “It’s yours!” he announced. “Now where’s the damn paracetamol?”

Lance got up a raced for the vacant loo. He made sure to throw a warning look over his shoulder as he put a hand on the door knob. “Don’t you dare say anything, Arthur.” He even raised a threatening finger before closing the door.

“What’s he on about?” Percival asked, plucking the white bottle of pills off the table by Arthur.

“Barcelona,” Arthur said, grinning.

Percival doubled over in laughter. “Oh my God, Barcelona!”

Lance’s muffled shout came from the bathroom. “You better not be fucking saying anything!”

“Tell me,” Merlin whispered.

Arthur shook his head, laughing. “No, no way. Go on and find your other shoe and—”

“I did it!” Gwaine declared triumphantly, coming back in. “I am amazing. Say it, say I’m amazing.”

“Why the fuck are you amazing, Gwaine?” Arthur asked.

Gwaine looked around, taking in the present company—Sefa, mostly—and reeled in his victory. “I’ll tell you later. All you need to know now is that I’m a sex god with charm that surpasses even yours, and nothing can stop me.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Of course.”

Merlin snorted. “Arthur has charm? Could have fooled me.”

“I’m plenty charming, _Mer_ lin.”

Merlin smirked. “Yeah? How many girls have you fucked this summer?”

Arthur was so stunned by the question and Merlin’s gall that he could do nothing but gape at first. Percival laughed and slapped a hand to Arthur’s back.

“Shit, the poof got you there, Arthur! He doesn’t even know you and he could tell you haven’t had any luck.”

“I’m gonna go, Merlin,” Sefa said, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. “I’ll see you when you get back.”

“Yeah, okay,” Merlin said, waving.

Arthur slammed the box of cereal down on the table and stood up, turning to face Percival. “Alright, a challenge then. You like Freya, don’t you? Whoever fucks her by the end of the week, wins. We’ll see how much charm I have then.”

Percival smiled, the thrill of the challenge already bringing a light to his eyes. “You’re on, Pendragon.”

Merlin came between them, raising his hands. “Hang on just a second. There’s no way I’m going to let you two play games with my friends. It’s bad enough Gwaine has taken advantage of Elena—”

“Oi, I did not—”

“And Gwen’s already making heart-eyes at Lance. Nobody’s doing any challenges with anyone, _got it_?” he finished, staring almost exclusively at Arthur.

Arthur read the look easily enough. It wasn’t just about playing games with people. Arthur had been about to do something incredibly stupid, all just to prove he could be a better flirt and because he’d been irked by Merlin’s statement. He’d get to the bedroom with Freya and then what? Make a fool of himself because he had no idea what to do? It would end horribly for everyone, and Arthur didn’t know Freya, but he knew she didn’t deserve that.

Arthur grit his teeth and looked away. “Whatever. I’d never fuck some goth weirdo anyway.”

Percival squared his shoulders. “Good. ‘Cause that beautiful goth weirdo is all mine.”

Merlin sighed in exasperation, throwing up his arms. “This entire flat is mad. I thought I had it bad having to deal with toilet seats and periods, but no, all you people talk about is fucking girls. That’s it, I’m leaving. I don’t think I even care about that stupid Barcelona thing anymore.”

Gwaine chortled. “Oh, were we talking about Barcelona down here?”

“What about your other shoe?” Arthur asked, ignoring Gwaine.

“Fuck it. Keep it. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you all a lot over the next few days. It’ll turn up.” Merlin left, wearing one shoe, and didn’t bother to close the door behind him.

“Jesus,” Percival said. “Think we offended his delicate homosexual feelings again?”

Arthur understood where Merlin was coming from, though. He tired of the same old thing after a while himself, but had got used to it because he had to, and because these were his friends.

“He’s just upset because he’d rather talk about fucking boys,” Arthur replied. “Tell us about what happened with Elena, Gwaine.”

Gwaine looked all too ready to relay his good news. “ _Finally._ Alright, so I follow her up there to try to see why the hell she screamed bloody murder, and when she finally lets me in...”

☼ ☼ ☼

Arthur somehow found himself alone late that afternoon. Leon had gone into town for his mandatory book-buying spree, and had roped Lance into going with him. Gwaine had managed to worm his way into a sort-of date with Elena while she went shopping with Gwen. And Percival...well, Arthur didn’t know where the fuck Percival was. He’d left shortly after Adventure Time finished without a single word, so Arthur took a wild guess and figured he meant to go catch up with Leon to try finding a book with which he could impress Freya.

Arthur was staring blankly at the telly, watching but not really watching that Gumball show Perce was obsessed with—whose whole title turned out to be The Amazing World of Gumball—when he suddenly spied a flash of purple poking out from under the red armchair by the door.

He got up to inspect, and sure enough, it looked to be Merlin’s shoe. How Merlin had missed it when Arthur had found it while not even looking was a mystery, but he had it now. Arthur didn’t have anything better to do. He’d drop it off with Merlin, or whichever of the girls answered the door. Hell, maybe he’d just leave it there on the porch.

It was actually rather nice outside, not too hot but not strangely cold either. It was nearly four in the afternoon, so the sun was just beginning its descent, and the evening breeze was coming in from the ocean. Maybe Arthur would sit outside a while after giving Merlin back his shoe.

He jogged up the stairs and knocked on the door. When no one answered after a few seconds, he took a couple steps to the right and leaned in to look through the window. He knocked again, a bit harder this time.

He was about to just leave the shoe in one of the chairs when he saw Merlin walking into the living room in nothing but a dark green towel. It was low around his waist, and slipping from how loosely he was holding it up with one hand. Arthur gaped and felt a definite stirring in his shorts.

Merlin caught sight of Arthur through the window and halted in his tracks. Even through the window Arthur could see the blush that rose to Merlin’s cheeks, and Merlin curled his fingers tighter in his towel. Arthur snapped his mouth shut and waved the shoe in his hand dumbly.

Merlin crossed the remaining distance to the door and Arthur braced himself for a view of such perfection unmarred by a dusty windowpane. Despite the five-second preparation period, Arthur’s breath still hitched in his throat when he saw Merlin standing there, water dripping down his tattooed torso and his eyelashes still shiny wet.

“I’m swear I’m not one of those weird people that randomly showers in the middle of the day,” Merlin said as greeting. “I went back to sleep when I came upstairs earlier and only just woke up properly like fifteen minutes ago.”

Arthur didn’t even really hear Merlin speak. He was too focused on following a bead of water as it slid down Merlin’s front, disappearing into the towel. Merlin cleared his throat and Arthur snapped his eyes back up.

“I...shoe,” Arthur said, shoving the shoe forward.

Merlin chuckled, taking the shoe and tossing it just beside the door with the others. Then he looked back up to Arthur, smiling wickedly.

“No one’s here, you know. It’s just me. So you can, I dunno, come in if you want.”

Arthur did want. Merlin had a way of driving Arthur _insane_ with want. “I thought...Weren’t you angry a few hours ago?”

Merlin did his head tilt again, but his fringe was wet so it didn’t swing as much this time. “Yeah, I was. I mean, your friends are still idiots and you’re still a giant prat. But you’re an attractive prat, and brilliant at sucking cock, so I’ll take what I can get. And besides, it’s just sex, remember? It’s not like we’re _friends_.”

Arthur grimaced at his own words being thrown back at him. Maybe he had been a little harsh the previous night, but he’d just been really on edge. “Right.”

“Yeah. You gonna come in?”

“Yes, definitely. I just. Left the door open downstairs because I thought I’d be quick. So I have to get the key and lock up. And get my mobile in case someone rings me.”

Merlin’s lips twitched in a slight smile and his eyes seemed to be twinkling with laughter. “Alright. I should dry off anyway. I’ll leave the door open for you.”

Arthur nodded and spun around to dash down the stairs. Running hastily back into the flat, he hit his hip on a corner of the table, and swore as he rubbed the spot. Once he was back in his room, he shoved his mobile into his pocket and plucked the key from the nightstand. He thought about grabbing a condom but figured that if Merlin had lube, he had those as well.

Arthur could hardly return quickly enough. Merlin had reduced him to nearly begging the night before, had made him sob with want and even commented on how Arthur had been shaking. Frankly, it had been embarrassing.

That wasn’t going to happen this time. Arthur remembered vividly all the filthy things he had wanted to do to Merlin when he’d first seen the boy laid out on the sofa-bed. He had wanted to push his face into Merlin’s lovely arse and drive him wild, much the same way he’d driven Arthur wild. Arthur had never put his tongue in anyone’s arse before, but seeing Merlin wet and fresh from the shower brought back all those desires in full force. It was the perfect opportunity, and Arthur wasn’t going to waste it.

Not to mention Merlin wouldn’t be nearly so cheeky then.

Arthur entered the empty flat, heart thudding between his ribs. He closed the door softly behind him, and toed off his shoes, leaving them by the others. There was a wet trail across the wooden floor, leading to the corridor and off to the right. Arthur took a deep breath and followed it.

The air in the hallway bathroom was still warm, and spilling out into the corridor, the fresh scent of Merlin’s soap reaching Arthur’s nose. Then Arthur turned right and was almost immediately at the entrance to one of the bedrooms.

The first thing Arthur noticed was the black bra on the floor, amongst other carelessly strewn female garments, but then his eyes drifted upward and he saw Merlin at a three-quarter view, sitting on the edge of one of the beds with his legs open and stroking his cock leisurely. The towel was beneath him, looking damp and wrinkled, and his hair was sticking almost completely up, having been hurriedly dried and ruffled.

He twisted his neck suddenly to look at where Arthur stood in the doorway. He cast his eyes down and then back up, quirking a brow. “You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”

“No.”

“So take off your clothes.”

Arthur brought his hands to his belt without hesitation, and it dropped to the floor with a dull thud after he had it off. He shoved his shorts and pants down, stepping out of them as he pulled his shirt over his head.

In the short span of time he was momentarily blind, Merlin had turned and moved further up the bed, laying propped up on one elbow with his legs spread and a hand still on his cock. Arthur crawled forward, the bed dipping beneath his weight, and he gave one quick lick to the head of Merlin’s dick just because he had to before closing the remaining distance between their mouths and kissing him.

Merlin’s legs wrapping around him and his other arm reaching up to grab Arthur’s hair shouldn’t have felt so perfect. The embrace shouldn’t have felt like coming home, comfortable and utterly _right_ , but it did. As their bodies became more entangled, as they kissed with little finesse and grabbed each other desperately, Arthur felt his heart pumping not just with exhilaration and nerves, but with warmth and happiness at finally having found someone he didn’t have to hide from. He hardly knew Merlin and Merlin didn’t know him, but Arthur was just glad he could have this and that it felt so perfect.

“Mmm, still plan on riding that cock of yours,” Merlin said, kissing Arthur’s neck.

Merlin was on top by this point, grinding against Arthur in a way that Arthur thought should be declared an art form, and Arthur had his hands full of Merlin’s arse because he still had his own plans in mind.

“You shouldn’t—ah—kiss me there,” Arthur gasped. “It’ll leave a mark.”

Merlin moaned into the hollow of Arthur’s throat and gave one last little lick, as though in apology and farewell. “Get to the fucking bit, then.”

Arthur rolled them over, pressing Merlin beneath him. “There’s just one thing I want to do first,” he said with a grin.

Merlin smiled back at him. “Yeah? This should be interesting.”

Arthur leaned down and mouthed at Merlin’s nipple, tracing the small bud with his tongue. He didn’t expect Merlin to be especially sensitive there, because he himself wasn’t, so he wasn’t surprised when Merlin didn’t respond much to the wet touch. But Merlin did give a little squeak when Arthur bit down just slightly, and Arthur could tell from the shakiness of Merlin’s breath that he’d liked it.

Arthur didn’t linger long there, because time was of the essence after all. The last thing he needed was one of his or Merlin’s friends to come back and find him with his tongue up Merlin’s arse. So he moved from Merlin’s nipple to the winding tattoo that surrounded it, mapping the black contours with the tip of his tongue and sucking a patch of skin whenever the fancy struck him. He could feel the quivering of Merlin’s muscles beneath him already and fought back a victorious smile.

“I’ve always w-wondered what it’d be like to have someone do that,” Merlin said breathlessly.

Arthur looked up at him from just above Merlin’s stomach. “Have you ever had a tongue in your arse before?”

Merlin whimpered, and then Arthur really couldn’t hold back his smile anymore.

“No, I...I haven’t.”

“I want to.”

“Oh God, Arthur, you really...you really have been deprived, haven’t you? You’re fucking filthy, you know that?” he panted.

Arthur laughed. “You’re not the only one who can talk dirty, Merlin.”

Merlin raised a brow. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Now turn over, your arse has been driving me mad.”

Merlin chuckled as he pushed himself up and rolled onto his stomach, spreading his legs and raising his arse a bit. “You’re one to talk, peachy bum.”

Arthur didn’t know how to reply to that. He’d never exactly had his arse complimented before, and never even really thought about that part of himself except when he used his dildo at home or had the occasional random fuck. He had never considered its appearance or anything.

So Arthur said nothing and went straight to parting Merlin’s cheeks, exposing the pink hole between pale, fleshy globes.

_Fuck,_ Arthur thought, awed as he kneaded them in his hands. _This arse. Oh my God, this arse. It’s perfect. His cock is perfect, his arse is perfect, how the fuck can one bloke be so damned perfect? A whole lifetime wouldn’t be long enough to do the things I want to do with him._

Okay, that may have been an exaggeration. But Arthur was fairly certain he’d never find someone like Merlin ever again, and the thought of not having this after the end of the week was suddenly disheartening.

Arthur shook the thought away. Best not to dwell on such things. Merlin may have had a glorious body, but he was still annoying and insufferable and cheeky. Arthur pushed everything else from his mind and focused on making the most of his time while he still could. He placed his thumbs more firmly inside to spread the cheeks wider and surged forward, letting his tongue slide out for the first heady taste.

“Oh! Oh God!” Merlin whined. Arthur heard his toes crack as they curled, and his hands fisted the duvet, his back arching as he pushed his arse further back. “A-Arthur. Nnnngh...”

Arthur held back another smile, but this time it was because he didn’t want to stop what he was doing. He swirled the tip around the puckered rim, using his thumbs to pull it apart, and dipped inside teasingly before giving the whole thing a long lick and sucking it.

And it really didn’t taste that bad, actually. Maybe a little salty because of the proximity to Merlin’s balls, but it wasn’t nightmarish or disgusting. Given the way Merlin was writhing and moaning, Arthur figured he wasn’t doing too badly. He was definitely enjoying himself as much as Merlin seemed to be.

“Ah, ah yeah, Arthur, could you just—more, deeper, please, _o-o-oh_...”

It was a bit of a stretch, but Arthur managed to push his tongue deeper, much to Merlin’s delight. Merlin’s moans reached an entirely new level of wrecked when Arthur started thrusting his tongue in and out. Eventually they just became broken whimpers and Merlin buried his face in the mattress.

“Don’t come yet,” Arthur pulled away to say.

“I’m—I’m not,” Merlin gasped. “Still want your cock. Give me your fucking cock before I explode.”

Arthur had to take a deep breath at the desperation in Merlin’s voice. “L-Lube?”

Merlin chuckled breathlessly. “Are you kidding me? I can feel your spit dripping down my balls.”

He pushed himself up and stretched his arm out toward the nightstand. There was a packet of lube that he ignored in favour of the condom beside it.

“Here,” he said, tossing it to Arthur. “It should fit, since we’re about the same size.”

Arthur felt a little wrong not using lube but apparently there was some lube on the condom, so he didn’t let it bother him too much. He held his cock still and started sliding it on. When he looked up at Merlin halfway through, Merlin smiled and nodded at him, like he had to be reassured and encouraged or something. Arthur laughed at how ridiculous Merlin looked, which only made Merlin smile wider for some reason.

“Lay back,” Merlin said, urging Arthur to switch positions with him and lie flat. He straddled Arthur’s body and ran his hands over Arthur’s chest. “Just lay back and look pretty.”

“Come on, Merlin,” Arthur said impatiently, pinching Merlin’s thigh.

“Yeah. Wouldn’t want one of your friends to get back and see us, would we?” Before Arthur could reply, Merlin cut him off. “Just give me a second.”

He reached back and spread his arse with one hand, keeping the other on Arthur’s chest. Arthur held his cock still again, biting his lip and breathing deeply as he felt Merlin start to sink down, enveloping him with his heat.

Merlin’s eyes slid closed, his long eyelashes fluttering as he exhaled slowly. He looked so fucking beautiful, so fucking _divine_ , that Arthur could hardly believe he’d got this lucky.

“Ah, fuck,” Merlin breathed as he finally took Arthur all the way in. “I need...another second.”

“Yeah, I...same.”

Merlin’s head fell back, exposing his throat as he took deep, even breaths. Arthur rested his hands on Merlin’s thighs, rubbing circles into them with his thumbs to distract himself.

“What’s it like?” Arthur asked, suddenly wanting to know. “Bottoming from up there? I’ve never done it like that before.”

Merlin looked down at him with a grin, giving a little swivel of his hips that left Arthur breathless. “Feels kinda like sitting on a dick,” Merlin said.

“No, really.”

Merlin laughed. “Why? You bottom often? I didn’t really peg you for the type.”

Arthur shrugged. “I didn’t let that bloke in Amsterdam fuck me since I didn’t know him. There was one boy I swore to secrecy back home that I occasionally did things with, and I usually topped with him. But I guess I mostly do sort of prefer it...you know...the other way around. Just not with someone I don’t trust.”

Merlin tilted his head. “Hmm. Not sure how this relationship is going to work if we’re both bottoms.”

“This is _not_ a relationship, Merlin.”

Merlin’s brow furrowed a moment, but then he rolled his eyes. “This _arrangement_ then.”

“It’ll be fine. We’ll take turns, do it fifty-fifty.”

“Aww, does that mean you trust me with your arse? I’m honoured, really.”

Arthur gave a punishing thrust upwards. “Shut up, Merlin.”

Merlin, for once, didn’t say anything. Instead, he used the momentum gained from Arthur’s thrust to launch right into it, moving his hips up and down to slide Arthur out and then take him in in in. His breath came in quick gasps through parted lips, and his brows pushed together from concentration as well as pleasure. Arthur had to tighten his hold on Merlin’s thighs as he felt the building tension in his groin increase.

“You...you wanna know what it feels like?” Merlin asked. “It feels powerful. ‘Cause even though it’s your cock in me, I’m the one on top. I control the pace. And you can buck your hips up all you like but you’ll still be down there, and I’ll still be up here.”

Arthur usually would have taken that as some sort of challenge, or felt compelled to prove Merlin wrong, but now he only felt mesmerised. Watching Merlin bounce on top of him, _riding_ him like he couldn’t get enough, like it was going to be his last fuck on earth, all Arthur could do was stare in awe and try not to come. He could only listen for the subtle hitches of breath when Merlin’s cock slid over Arthur’s stomach just the right way, watch for the slight roll of Merlin’s hips as he worked Arthur’s cock against his prostate, and grab hold of Merlin’s waist to help push him down and fuck him harder.

“Oh, oh,” Merlin panted. “Maybe—maybe lube wasn’t a bad idea because it’s sort of starting to hurt now. So just—fuck, just touch me. C’mon, c’mon.”

That sounded fine to Arthur. He was barely keeping himself from coming, and the sooner Merlin finished, the better. He moved his hand from Merlin’s waist and wrapped his fingers around Merlin’s cock, trying to stroke in time with Merlin’s rhythm. That plan failed when Merlin moaned and his rhythm faltered, so Arthur changed his speed to jerk quickly. He loved holding the hot, heavy weight of Merlin in his hand, and suddenly needed to see Merlin fall apart for more selfish reasons.

Merlin inhaled sharply when he finally came, and Arthur listened for the corresponding exhale as he watched come shoot from tip to land on his chest just as it had last night. Merlin held his breath the whole way through, and only let it go when the last weak spurt dribbled out.

Arthur moved his hand back to Merlin’s waist and gave a few hard thrusts. It wouldn’t take long for him to follow Merlin, not with Merlin’s come still hot on his skin and Merlin making those broken whimpering noises again. He pushed away the realisation that this time the whimpering was probably from overstimulation and a bit of dry pain, and just kept going, fucking upward until he finally felt the heat shoot up through his cock as well.

“Done?” Merlin asked when Arthur went still.

“Y-Yeah.”

Merlin lifted himself up, pulling Arthur free, and plopped down to lean against the wall. “Use the towel,” he suggested.

Arthur didn’t much feel like moving just yet, but he sat up regardless. What time was it? How long had he been up here?

He did as Merlin advised and used the towel they’d fucked on, pulling up a corner and rubbing down his chest. He wiped his cock after he removed the condom, and raised a brow at Merlin when he’d finished.

“Oh, yeah, there’s a bathroom in the hall,” Merlin said. “You probably saw it walking in. Just flush it in the loo on your way out.”

“‘Kay.”

Arthur slid to the edge of the bed and got to his feet. He found his pile of clothes by the door and extracted his pants. As he dressed, he wondered if anyone had come back while he was gone. Nobody else had a key, so they would’ve had to wait outside. What if Percival had just gone for a walk after all, not all the way to the bookshop?

“Have you ever done that before?” Merlin asked behind him. “Rimmed someone before?”

Arthur picked up his shirt, saw it was inside out, and made it right again before pushing his arms through the sleeves.

“No. But I wasn’t kidding about your arse driving me mad. I’d been thinking about it since I saw—” Arthur cut himself off. He was not about to admit to spying through the window. Like a creep.

“Since you saw what?” Merlin nudged. Christ, Arthur could hear the smirk in his voice.

“Nothing.”

Merlin huffed. “First the Barcelona thing, and now this. You really know how to keep someone on the edge of their seat.”

Arthur chuckled and turned around to face him again. He’d forgot Merlin was still naked and it was a bit of surprise.

“Don’t worry about the Barcelona thing. It’s just something stupid that happened to Lance. He’s my friend, and he’s right that I agreed not to tell.”

“So tell me about this thing you saw then,” Merlin prompted. Arthur had a sneaking suspicion Merlin knew exactly how to use that smile of his, and there were so many variations that Arthur wanted to catalogue them all. “When’d you realise you wanted to eat out my arse? On the beach? ‘Cause I saw you staring, you know.”

“No, not on the beach, you idiot.”

Arthur patted his pocket to make sure his mobile was still there and took it out to check for messages or missed calls. Thankfully, there were none of either.

“On the porch then?” Merlin asked. Arthur must have blushed or twitched a brow or something, because Merlin’s grin stretched wider. “That’s it! On the porch! You wanted to eat my arse on the porch!”

“No, that’s not—Jesus, would you quiet down? If it’ll shut you up, I’ll tell you.”

Merlin moved to face him fully, sitting with his legs crossed. “Go on.”

Arthur sighed and put his mobile back into his pocket. “Okay, so the music _had_ been really loud the other night. I went outside because I needed a break and some fresh air, and because I wasn’t feeling too well, I guess. I came up here sort of on a whim. I was pissed and it seemed like a decent idea and I just wanted to see if you all were doing anything worth getting quiet for.”

“We were trying to _sleep_ ,” Merlin interjected, annoyance at the memory plain on his face.

“Yeah, I know. I...I saw. I looked through the window and you were there. In, you know, your pants. And they were sort of bunched up, so I could sort of see...”

Arthur waved in Merlin’s general direction, ignoring the increasing twinkle in Merlin’s eyes as he obviously grew more and more amused.

“Anyway, that’s when I first wanted to do it.”

“When you looked at my arse through the window?” Merlin said, full-on smirking now.

“Yes. Happy?”

“Very. Especially now that I know the real reason you were acting so strange. Even I wouldn’t get hard just because I saw some bloke with his top off.”

“If I were that easily excited, I’d _really_ have a problem.”

“Oh, I know, I’ve seen your friends. They look delicious.”

“Ugh, could you not?” That was definitely not an adjective Arthur wanted to hear used to describe his mates. Ever.

“Come on, admit it. Your friends are fit,” Merlin said.

It felt so wrong even thinking it, let alone saying it. “They’re alright. I wouldn’t want to do any of them myself but I guess I can sort of...admire that they have certain attractive qualities.”

“There you go! I think the same of my friends. Have you _seen_ Sefa’s tits? How does someone so shy have such a voluptuous body, I mean, honestly?”

Arthur laughed. “Yeah, I noticed.”

“That’s her bra on the floor there, by the way. And we kind of just fucked in her bed.”

“How will I ever look her in the eye again?” Arthur joked.

Merlin finally got up from the bed, though he didn’t put any clothes on, probably because he didn’t have any in the room. He picked up Arthur’s belt from the floor and handed it to him. Arthur started putting it on, grateful that Merlin remembered, because it would have been awkward trying to explain why his belt was up here.

“I’m glad I got you, though,” Merlin said as Arthur finished threading the leather through the loops. “When I came to your door that first day, I would have settled for one of the others, but I was hoping it’d be you. I’m so glad you’re gay, Arthur, even if your personality is kind of shit.”

“Er, no problem?”

Merlin smiled again, a happy, carefree sort of smile, and Arthur resolutely ignored the bloom of warmth in his chest.

Arthur secured the belt in place then reached out and plucked the condom off the towel, holding it precariously between his fingers. “I should go. And you should put some clothes on.”

Merlin looked down at himself, as though just remembering his nudity. “Oh. Yeah.”

He picked up the towel and walked to the living area as Arthur went to flush the evidence of their shared afternoon down the toilet. After Arthur got to the front door and slid his feet into his shoes, he turned back, hand on the door knob, and saw Merlin bent over a large duffel bag, pulling out a pair of navy blue briefs. As Merlin stepped into them and pulled them up, the fabric fitting snugly over his round arse, Arthur seriously considered staying just a little longer. He was sure his cock would be ready to go again in just another few minutes and the sight of Merlin in those y-fronts was enough to make his fingers twitch with the need to touch.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Merlin said as he bent over again to retrieve a top.

Arthur felt himself blush, and immediately averted his eyes when Merlin looked back at him, grinning devilishly.

“Oh shut up, Merlin,” Arthur said. “I’m leaving. I’ll see you later.”

Arthur finally turned the knob and opened the door, stepping out onto the porch. The first thing Arthur noticed was how much lower the sun was, even though no more than two hours could have passed. The air was cooler, the ocean just a few streets over giving the breeze a briny smell, and it brushed Arthur’s fringe across his forehead as he closed the door and walked down the stairs.

He was just about to climb up the short steps onto his own porch when he caught sight of a group of people a little ways down the pavement who looked very familiar. Unfortunately, they recognised him at the same moment, preventing him from slipping back into the flat unnoticed.

Gwaine waved his arm above his head. “Hey, Arthur!”

As they got closer, Arthur saw it wasn’t just Elena that Gwaine was with, but Gwen and Sefa as well. He idly hoped Merlin was finished dressing or would finish soon, because they’d all definitely just seen him leave the upper flat.

“Hey, Gwaine. Hi, Elena, Gwen, Sefa. How was shopping?”

Gwen didn’t have any bags, but Sefa had a small one, and Elena had two large ones. Arthur remembered something Merlin said about Elena’s father being rich and figured that was the reason.

“Not bad,” Elena said. Despite the just ‘not bad,’ her eyes shone with excitement, and as she pulled a small yellow bottle out of her bag, Arthur saw why. “We got bubbles! We’re going to blow them on the way to dinner. I mean come on, who doesn’t like blowing bubbles?”

Arthur glanced at Gwaine and noticed he was smiling brightly, practically beaming at Elena’s enthusiasm. He’d never put the idea of Gwaine and bubbles together before, but it was just the sort of childish thing the bloke would like, so Arthur could hardly say he was surprised. He himself didn’t feel one way or another about it, and probably wouldn’t do anything with his own bottle of bubble fluid.

“Dinner?” Arthur echoed.

“Seafood restaurant they said is ace,” Gwaine clarified. “It was Gwen’s idea,” he added. The accompanying eyebrow raise was unnecessary; Arthur got the hint.

“Cool. What time are we leaving?” he asked.

“Probably as soon as everyone gets back,” Gwen said. “It gets crowded around this time.”

“Alright.”

“Were you up in our flat just now?” Sefa asked, glancing from him up to the door and back.

Arthur tried not to let on how much the sudden question affected him, but his stomach definitely lurched a little and his pulse quickened. “I found Merlin’s other shoe and went to return it.”

“Oh. Where was it?”

“Under the armchair.”

Sefa chuckled a little, and Arthur was surprised given it was the first time he’d seen any emotion on her meek face. “He’s so blind. He told me he looked there and hadn’t seen it.”

“Yeah, and I distinctly remember telling him to look behind it, so I dunno how the hell he missed it.”

She sighed and rolled her eyes, and Arthur could just tell she was inwardly saying, ‘Merls is such a _loser_ ’ or something similar. He laughed at the unspoken sentiment, and Sefa grinned back at him. She was much more pretty when she smiled.

Then Arthur looked back at Gwaine and saw he had an eyebrow slightly raised in amusement. Arthur knew what that look meant, too.

“I’ll see you all later then, okay?” Arthur said, waving as he ascended the steps. Gwaine followed him, giving Elena a peck on the cheek beforehand, which Arthur definitely had not expected.

“Later, Arthur!” they chorused.

Arthur pulled out his key, and Gwaine waited until the girls were halfway up the steps before leaning in close and asking, “So you and Sefa? You think you’re in there?”

Arthur shrugged a shoulder as he turned the lock. “I would—because honestly, who wouldn’t—but Leon seems rather set on her.”

“Arthur, mate. Seriously. She doesn’t talk much but she has the voice of an angel. And those breasts. Tell me you don’t want to push your face into those breasts.”

Arthur really would rather not. But he didn’t tell Gwaine that. He pushed the door open and put the key back in his pocket.

“Leon has priority. You know the rules, considering you’re the one who made them.”

“Sometimes you gotta stuff the rules, especially when it looks like she might have an interest in one bloke over the other. And I didn’t see you caring about the rules this morning when you threw down the gauntlet for Freya.”

“Oh come on, that was a challenge, it was different,” Arthur pointed out. “And Leon’s my best mate. I don’t give two shits about doing that to Percival.”

Gwaine screwed up his mouth in an expression of reluctant understanding. “Alright, I get you there. You’ve known Leon forever and he doesn’t deserve that. Still, she didn’t smile at Leon like she smiled at you, and Leon was practically offering to propose to her all last night.”

Arthur sighed and kicked off his shoes, then plopped down onto the sofa in the position he’d been before he went to visit Merlin. He wished Gwaine would give it a rest.

“I’ll see how tonight goes, I guess. With this dinner thing.”

☼ ☼ ☼

It turned out that Percival had indeed gone to catch up with Leon and Lance at the bookshop, and they returned just over an hour later, after the sun had been fully set for a few minutes. Leon returned with three new purchases, Percival with one, and Lance empty-handed. It wasn’t long after that that they all went to knock on the door of the upper flat to see if the girls and Merlin were ready.

It was almost strange seeing Merlin completely clothed again, and when Arthur did a quick glance-over of Merlin’s attire—grey skinny jeans and a purple v-neck—he couldn’t help but remember the navy briefs Merlin had on underneath. Merlin laughed when he caught Arthur’s guilty eye, but nobody else was paying much attention, and didn’t question the random laughter. After Elena handed each of them their own small bottle of bubbles, they locked up and started for the restaurant.

Arthur had shoved his own bottle into his pocket and walked silently behind everyone else. He’d never felt so detached from his own group of friends in his life, but now it was as though he was an outsider looking in. Watching everyone fill the air with bubbles, the soapy spheres floating on the breeze until they popped, all carefree and happy, Arthur couldn’t say what it was that caused him to suddenly be in a mood.

“Wanna see who can blow the biggest?” Merlin leaned over and asked Sefa.

“You’re on,” she said, smiling.

As they walked, Arthur tried not to let his gaze linger too long on Merlin. He tried to pay attention to where they were going, their surroundings and the other people on the pavement passing by. But Merlin was like some sort of ethereal sprite, giggly and gorgeous and blowing large, perfectly shaped bubbles up into the sky. Sometimes he stopped, leaned out into the street, and blew a barrage into the passing cars, grinning brightly when the zooming autos whirled the bubbles into a dancing frenzy, before continuing on. How could Arthur—or anyone— _not_ be mesmerised by Merlin?

How could Arthur focus on anything other than the fact that he’d had his tongue up that perfect arse just hours before, and his so-called mates would probably never think of him the same if they knew how much he’d loved doing it?

At least Arthur wasn’t the only one not participating in their childish game. Freya had accepted her bottle with a scowl before surreptitiously handing it to Gwen, who nodded and took it. Percival and Gwaine were having the most fun though, laughing their arses off when they “accidentally” blew bubbles into the faces of random people passing by. Arthur sighed with a heavy heart as he watched Merlin tilt his head back and blow upwards, his bubble much larger than Sefa’s average-sized one.

Arthur wasn’t aware of when exactly Freya had fallen into step beside him, but the next thing he knew, Freya was saying, “Ridiculous, isn’t it?”

Arthur wasn’t sure if she was really speaking to him at first, but they two were the only ones in the back of the procession, and her voice hadn’t been raised for anyone else’s ears. He cast a glance sideways, meeting her piercing russet eyes before looking forward again.

“Yeah. ‘S stupid.”

“Not to mention it gets your hands all sticky.”

Arthur chuckled. “That too.”

Ahead of them, Merlin spun around in a circle, his head still facing the sky as he blew, and the line of his Adam’s apple brought forth more thoughts Arthur had been trying to push down. Arthur grit his teeth and directed his gaze to everyone’s walking feet.

“You okay?” Freya asked.

Arthur shrugged. “I just didn’t much feel like going out tonight.”

In Arthur’s peripheral vision, he saw Freya nod. “Yeah. I only narrowly avoided being dragged along on another one of their shopping adventures. Went to a cafe and browsed Tumblr on my mobile for a few hours instead.”

Arthur didn’t know what Tumblr was, but figured it was some website for introverted goths or something. He was considering asking if he was right when up at the front, Perce suddenly looked around, apparently searching for Freya, and finding her. Percival slowed his pace until he was settled next to Freya, walking next to her on the other side. Arthur shrugged a little—the gesture hardly perceptible by someone who wasn’t paying attention—when Perce met his gaze, subtly telling him that he wasn’t making a move, just talking. After nodding a bit in response, Percival redirected his sights to Freya. Arthur walked a few steps ahead, giving them privacy, but could still hear their conversation among the couple others going on.

“So what book have you been reading?” Percival asked.

“Pygmy,” Freya replied blankly.

“Yeah? Is it any good?”

“I wouldn’t read it if it wasn’t.”

“Oh, yeah, well, obviously. But like, is it anything special? Who’s it by?”

“Chuck Palahniuk. It’s not the best he’s written but it has its moments. His plots are always interesting.”

“That’s cool. I think you said the other day there was intense dialogue?”

Arthur was impressed Percival’s tiny brain had latched onto that fragment. Maybe there was hope for the boy after all.

“Yeah,” Freya said. She sounded about as surprised as Arthur. “I mean, it’s Palahniuk, so the whole thing is intense, really.”

“I just bought a book today by Neil Gaiman. You heard of him?”

Arthur stifled the urge to snort. As if Percival had read a single thing of his own volition that was the least bit literary. Arthur would normally be the last person to stereotype based on appearances, but Perce definitely didn’t look like the book-loving sort of chap.

And Freya wasn’t stupid. There was only a three second silence before she said, “If you want to fuck me, just say it. Don’t make a fool of yourself by pretending you care about my apparent interests.”

Everyone ahead of Arthur was still very much enjoying themselves, blowing bubbles and laughing, and still sort of bringing down Arthur’s mood, but Arthur couldn’t help chortling a little at Freya’s bluntness. And he just _had_ to look over to see Percival’s reaction.

Percival looked more flustered than Arthur had ever seen him, and almost shy. Arthur tried to subtly slip back beside Freya, to make it seem as though their pace suddenly overtook his own, but Freya shot him a glance that said she knew exactly what he was doing and didn’t care.

Arthur chuckled and smiled guilelessly at her. This wasn’t a conversation he was going to miss.

Percival seemed to take it as a challenge. He clenched his jaw determinedly, glancing meaningfully at Arthur as though saying, ‘watch this,’ and looked back to Freya. “Will you have sex with me?”

Freya eyed him up and down, then turned forward again, shrugging. “Depends on how you feel about handcuffs.”

Arthur wasn’t sure he heard right, and even Percival was gaping. A few metres ahead of them, Gwen turned around and called back, “We’re nearly there! Just three more crossroads!”

Percival, however, was still caught up in Freya’s statement, muttering, “Er...”

Arthur looked at him again, trying to keep his face straight, and nodded. “Do it,” Arthur mouthed over Freya’s head.

“You do mean on me, right?” Percival asked. “Just to be clear.”

“Yep,” Freya said. Arthur was positive he detected a slight twitch in her lips. Christ, she was just as cheeky and conniving as Merlin.

“I’m, er, not exactly opposed to the idea, I guess,” Percival replied slowly.

“Great. Elena will probably be spending the night with Gwaine again, so we’ll have the room to ourselves. If you don’t have a condom though, you can forget it. I’m not on any birth control.”

Arthur almost laughed again because of how quickly Percival nodded.

Freya’s brow furrowed then, and her mouth tilted downward just a bit. Her eyes slid to Percival, looking at him sideways.

“I scare most people away, you know,” she said.

Percival grinned, like such a declaration made him _happy_ or something. “I’m not most people.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. Seriously, he was going to be ill.

Freya just hummed, then turned forward again, quickening her steps and signalling the end of the conversation. As soon as she was in front of them, Percival elbowed Arthur and pointed a finger at her.

“I’m so in there!” he mouthed.

Arthur laughed as quietly as he could, not wanting to let Freya hear, but he had a feeling she heard anyway and didn’t care. He slapped a hand to Perce’s back in congratulations.

When he looked back to the front, Merlin was walking backwards and staring at him, bubble wand and bottle held almost absently in his hands.

Arthur looked away at first, but then determinedly held Merlin’s gaze. It wasn’t an angry look that Merlin was giving him, just sort of speculative, like a bored observation. Arthur quirked a brow, silently asking, ‘What?’

Merlin’s blank expression did shift a little then, the corners of his mouth curling up as he put his bubble wand back in the bottle. When he raised it again, lips puckered sinfully, he blew a steady stream of air to launch an assault of clear spheres in Arthur’s direct path, all Arthur’s focus going straight back to him. Merlin laughed giddily as Arthur glared at him, walking through the dancing bubbles. Some of them popped at the contact with his body.

_Cheeky shit just like always,_ Arthur thought bitterly. _Stupid idiot knows exactly what he’s doing to me. Probably fucking gets off on it._

“Come on, Arthur, have some fun!” Merlin called back. “I bet you’re great at blowing!”

Arthur couldn’t believe Merlin just said that, and he felt the same clench in his stomach that he always did when someone made a statement so close to revealing his secret. He wanted to strangle that stupidly beautiful neck of Merlin’s.

Luckily for Arthur—and Merlin—everyone else laughed. Leon looked over his shoulder, saw how Arthur was walking with his hands shoved into his pockets, and rolled his eyes before turning back around.

“Arthur just has a way of being moody and boring sometimes,” Leon stated. “It’s best to ignore him when he’s like this.”

Gwaine started chuckling, and Arthur just knew whatever came out of his mouth next wouldn’t be anything good. “Remember when we were in Italy?” he asked, elbowing Leon. He turned around, walking backwards like Merlin was so he could face the group. “We’d rented this gorgeous beach villa, and all Arthur wanted to do was stay inside the whole time like a fucking housewife.”

Merlin snorted, bursting into chortling laughter.

“I was appreciating the hot tub while we still had it!” Arthur protested.

“More like appreciating the jets,” Percival said.

Everyone laughed again, even Freya, and Arthur tried not to feel too put out by it. It was better to be laughed at for being occasionally boring than for the truth.

“We had to practically drag him kicking and screaming to the nude beach,” Gwaine said.

“That’s because I knew there’d be hardly any girls there and I didn’t feel like going to see a bunch of naked blokes.” Arthur made the mistake of letting his gaze slip to Merlin after saying that. Merlin’s expression hadn’t changed from the last time Arthur looked, but his eyes seemed to be laughing more somehow.

But truthfully, the nude beach hadn’t been that bad—at least not for the reason Arthur had initially thought it would be. Not everyone had been naked, since it was ‘clothing optional,’ and anyone that _had_ decided to take advantage of it had been either old, fat, or both. There’d been a few naked girls that the others had got excited over, but upon closer inspection they turned out to be single mums.

Suddenly, there was a shift in the air, subtle and almost unnoticeable except for the way the pause in conversation felt heavy and meaningful. When Merlin turned on his heel, walking forward again so Arthur couldn’t see his face, Arthur knew what was coming next. He could feel it in the pit of his stomach.

“Merlin would’ve loved it, though,” Gwaine remarked, raising an eyebrow and jerking his head in the boy’s direction. “Would’ve been a poof’s paradise.”

Arthur inhaled and exhaled slowly, wondering how Merlin would react—how _any_ of the others would react—but there was no visible change in Merlin during the one second that followed, at least from behind.

Percival scoffed. “Like we’d let a poof go with us to a nude beach.”

Merlin did tense at that, his shoulders hunching just the slightest bit. Arthur felt heavy again, guilt and something much more ugly, like betrayal, coiling in his chest. Even though Merlin was facing forward, Arthur felt as though Merlin was still staring right at him.

And he was sure Merlin was about to respond, maybe not to give away Arthur’s secret, but surely to retaliate with some witty, Merlin-esque reply.

Lance, though, beat him to it. “Oh shut up, Perce, if Merlin wanted to pull something on you he’d have done it last night when we were all pissed.” Even from this far away, Arthur could see the grateful look Gwen shot Lance.

Percival grunted. “He _did_ fall into Leon’s lap.”

Merlin whipped his head around, eyes blazing. “I said that was an accident!”

“Right. Accident.”

“Oh my God, shut _up_ , Percival,” Elena groaned.

Leon stepped to the left and swung an arm around Merlin’s shoulders, smiling amicably. He seemed to dwarf Merlin, even though Merlin was tall. “Don’t worry about it, Merlin. Arthur did nearly the same thing when he got plastered, and he’s not even gay. Don’t pay those idiots Gwaine and Perce any mind.”

Merlin’s mouth tilted in a not-quite smile. “Thanks. Perce’s not my type anyway.”

“We’re here!” Gwen announced. She raised an arm, indicating the sign above that declared the name of the restaurant.

Arthur wasn’t much of a seafood person, but he could not have been more relieved to have finally arrived. And the tightness in his chest loosened a bit when he heard Freya mutter something to Percival as they walked in:

“You just lost the right to a safeword, just so you know.”

☼ ☼ ☼

Two tables had to be pushed together to seat the ten of them. Gwaine whispered in Arthur’s ear for him to try to get a seat next to Sefa, but Arthur was careful to move just slowly enough that it looked like he only barely lost the race to sit across from her.

The whole arrangement ended up with Gwen across from Lance at the far end of the table, Percival across from Freya, Elena beside Gwaine—so they could feel each other up under the table, no doubt—and across from Leon who sat next to Sefa, leaving Arthur to face Merlin at the end. What made things worse was that Arthur just knew Merlin was going to be purposefully alluring—to torment him, the bastard—and the fact that Arthur had Gwaine on his left was going to make the evening incredibly difficult.

But as time passed and they ordered their meals, nothing out of the ordinary happened. Merlin only glanced over at him sometimes, but directed most of his attention to Sefa, on his right. Maybe Merlin was still upset over what Gwaine and Perce had said, and wasn’t in the mood for being annoying.

It shouldn’t have bothered Arthur as much as it did. As they waited for the food to arrive, Arthur faffed about on his mobile, everyone else talking and laughing and joking around him. He should have been completely fine with the fact that Merlin wasn’t speaking to him, or even really acknowledging him, but instead he felt almost...disappointed.

Which was just stupid. Arthur frowned deeply when the horrible thought _Why is he ignoring me?_ passed through his mind. Now that was just pathetic. The nagging feeling of maybe-jealousy at Sefa getting more attention than him was even more pathetic.

“Alright, Arthur?” someone suddenly asked him. It was a female voice. Arthur raised his eyes from his mobile, and saw Sefa looking at him with worried, grey-blue eyes. With a glance at Merlin, Arthur saw he was staring off to the side, drinking his water.

“Yeah, I’m fine, why?”

Sefa ducked her head a little, smiling almost sheepishly. “You just looked really upset for a moment, is all.”

Arthur shrugged a shoulder. “It’s nothing. Just a game on my phone. One of those where you have to move the blocks correctly to get a piece out, you know? It was driving me mad trying to figure it.”

Merlin set his glass down, snorting. “Don’t think too hard, you might hurt yourself.”

Arthur glared at him, but he was more angry at the way Merlin’s voice still had a certain effect on him. “Very funny, Merlin.”

“So you like logic games?” Sefa asked. “That’s cool.”

It was like a switch flipped or something. Leon’s head whipped left, looking from Sefa to Arthur a few times. Arthur knew his friend well enough to read the silent question in his eyes, and he liked to think that Leon knew him well enough to get the message he was sending back. _Yes, I see she’s flirting, no, I’m not going to flirt back._

And Merlin...well, Merlin was watching him with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Arthur replied. “Not very good at them, I’m afraid, at least not when I get to the more challenging levels. But I like them.”

He shrugged again and looked down, trying to downplay his interest. But how did one gently decline an invitation to flirt when the girl was so timid and eager-looking?

Their food arrived then—or started to, because apparently the kitchen was still making Elena, Merlin, and Percival’s meals—so Arthur had an excuse to look suddenly very interested in something else. He dipped his spoon into his shrimp dish, swirling the bay leaves around the broth, just as he felt Gwaine’s knee bump his under the table. When he looked down to see, he saw it was because Gwaine had parted his legs, allowing Elena’s hand to grab more firmly between them.

Arthur knocked his knee against Gwaine’s again, getting his attention. When Gwaine looked over at him, large-pupilled and smug, Arthur leaned in and whispered, “You’re fucking shameless, you know.”

Gwaine chuckled. “Jealousy is a...a t-terrible trait, Arthur,” he whispered back.

“Please. I just think you hardly deserving of it.” He nodded in the direction of Gwaine’s lap.

“That’s because you don’t see what my other hand is doing.”

Arthur leaned back, stifling the urge to make a noise of disgust, mostly because he didn’t think a straight bloke would find it disgusting. They’d probably find it impressive. Still, he wasn’t able to quite stop the look of repulsion flashing across his face.

To cover himself, he said, “For her sake, I hope you washed your hands.”

“I don’t think I should’ve ordered this,” Sefa said, putting her fork down and frowning.

Gwaine turned away so Arthur knew their conversation had ended, and went back to his food. He glanced at Merlin again, which was a mistake because Merlin was looking right back at him.

Sefa turned to Merlin. “Can I have some of yours when it gets here, Merls? I almost got the same thing, but wasn’t sure.”

“Okay.”

Leon pushed his plate of scallops over a little. “Want to try a bit of mine?” he asked, smiling encouragingly. “It’s really good.”

Sefa’s mouth twitched, opening and closing almost comically as she clearly fought for words. “Oh, no, that’s, um. That’s okay. I’m not really a scallop person. Merlin got a shrimp soup type thing with celery and carrots and white wine that looked really good so I think I’ll just, um, have a bit of his.”

Leon looked crestfallen, and Arthur tried to send another silent message in apology. “No problem,” Leon said, sliding his plate back over.

And then Sefa stood up a little, stretching her neck out over the table to look into Arthur’s bowl. “Oh, that’s it, I think. You and Merlin ordered the same thing.”

“We _did_?” What made it worse was that Merlin said it at the same time Arthur did, in the same disbelieving tone, causing Merlin to put a hand over his mouth and burst into giggles.

Arthur grit his teeth. _Stupid squinty eyes making him look stupidly adorable with his stupid tastes matching mine. Stupid_ , he thought bitterly.

“Yeah,” Sefa said. “Dunno why his hasn’t come yet.”

“Maybe they just hate me,” Merlin said, shrugging.

“Oh, no one could hate you, Merls.”

Sefa hugged his arm, and Merlin’s gaze flicked down the table a little ways before he looked back to her, smiling.

“Thanks, Sefa. Maybe they messed up and had to make it again because they know I’ll throw a sassy gay tantrum if it’s not perfect.” He ended with a snap off to the side, and a slight pursing of his lips. Sefa giggled, and even Arthur almost choked on his bite of food because of the sudden laughter that made him snort.

“Can I try a bit of yours, Arthur?” Sefa asked suddenly, making Arthur’s blood run cold. “Just to see if I’ll like it when Merlin’s comes.”

“Uh...” Shit, she looked hopeful again. And was she blinking a lot more than necessary or was Arthur imagining that? “I haven’t got another spoon and I’m like, sort of weird about germs. No offence.”

Sefa looked a little disappointed at first but quickly hid it. “Oh, no, that’s okay. I mean you only met me like _days_ ago, so why would you share a _spoon_ with me? That’s like, seriously weird, yeah,” she finished, blushing.

Gwaine jumped in out of nowhere and pointed at the clean spoon still on her napkin beside her plate. “Looks like you didn’t use yours.”

Arthur wanted to strangle him. The one time Gwaine decided to be helpful just had to be now.

“Oh yeah!” She picked up her spoon like it was some sort of treasure. “I didn’t need it for my food. Is it okay if I just use this, Arthur? It’s only the one taste, so there won’t be any germs.”

If it were any other time, Arthur would have said okay. It was just one bite of his food, nothing too significant or major. But with Leon and Merlin watching him, it didn’t feel like just a friendly thing. It felt like something so much more. Like if he said yes, then it would mean he was interested, even though that was utterly ridiculous.

“Um...”

And then Arthur was saved. The waiter came back with the rest of the food, setting Merlin’s meal in front of him. He tried not to appear too relieved, even as Merlin shot him a knowing smirk, sliding his bowl closer to Sefa.

“It’s good,” Arthur said to her as she lowered her spoon, if only because her expression was so pitiful. He smiled at her, trying to come off as friendly and definitely not flirtatious. “Make sure to eat a lot so Merlin doesn’t get any.”

She laughed as Merlin rolled his eyes. “Okay.”

It was like another switch had flipped, making conversation easier after that. Elena apparently got tired of groping Gwaine, so they both shifted their attention to their food and the talk at the table. Merlin stopped subtly laughing at Arthur’s misfortune and managed to rope Leon into some of his and Sefa’s conversations, asking Leon’s opinion on certain actors when they talked of films and bands when they talked of music. Gwen and Lance continued to be in their own world at the far end of the table, while Percival kept trying to prove to Freya he wasn’t a complete arse.

There was the occasional bleeding over of conversation when one person overheard something and chimed in, especially if it was a story from earlier in the summer. Apparently Arthur and his friends hadn’t been the only group of school-leavers to rent the lower flat that summer; there’d been another, a mixed group of three couples who’d been there before, but they hadn’t been nearly as loud, and had largely ignored Merlin and the girls. They’d stayed two weeks and not one of them had even said hello.

Soon, everyone’s plates were empty and Leon was asking for the bill. The dishes were taken away, and when the bill arrived, Elena asked how they were going to split it.

“Don’t worry about it,” Leon said, waving it off. “I’ve got it.”

Elena raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Seriously?”

Leon nodded. “Seriously. I’m the food man. Aren’t I, Arthur?”

Arthur nodded. “He _is_ the food man.”

Merlin furrowed his brow. “What’s that mean?”

“We sort of gave each other roles for the trip,” Arthur explained with a shrug. “My father paid for all the lodging and travelling. Leon’s in charge of providing and paying for food. Gwaine gets alcohol and drives us around if we rent an auto. If we’re not in a hotel, Lance tidies up the living room and kitchen, and occasionally he cooks. Percival takes out rubbish and sweeps up sand from the beach. Ergo, Leon’s paying.”

Merlin grinned, and Arthur slapped a hand to his forehead.

“Fuck you,” Arthur said mournfully. “It’s your fault.”

“You saaaaaid it,” Merlin sang.

“Shut up. I hate you.”

Merlin laughed. “Admit it, it makes you feel smart.”

“It makes me feel like a pompous arse.”

“No change there then.”

Arthur glared at him, hating the way Merlin’s smug smile made him feel kind of warm even when he was trying to be angry at him.

The walk back to the house was about the same, with two major significant differences. First, that there was no insulting of Merlin, thank God. Second, that Sefa walked beside Leon, having a blowing contest with _him_ instead of Merlin, while Merlin hung back and somehow ended up beside Arthur.

Arthur could hardly make a big deal about it in front of everyone, so he just let it happen, allowing Merlin to walk next to him, humming and casually blowing bubbles that sometimes hovered into Arthur’s space. And if he was being honest with himself, Arthur maybe sort of enjoyed Merlin’s presence.

Okay, he really enjoyed Merlin’s presence.

“It’s good she finally got the hint,” Merlin remarked idly, pointing his bubble wand in Sefa and Leon’s direction. “Thought I’d have to spell it out for her.”

Arthur sighed. “Yeah. I almost wished I wasn’t...you know. Just for a moment. She’s like a bloody kitten, I didn’t want to let her down.”

Merlin frowned a little, grunting as he swirled the wand around in the soapy liquid. “I contemplated whispering it in her ear,” he said, glancing up at Arthur. When he saw Arthur didn’t understand, he continued. “Telling her your secret, I mean. She wouldn’t tell anyone if I asked her not to, not even Gwen or anyone. It was just getting really pathetic.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. That it didn’t come to that.”

“I know.” He held the bottle of bubbles out to Arthur. “Here. You have to do it at least once, I demand it.”

Arthur’s hands seemed to take it of their own accord, but he didn’t remove the wand or do anything else right away. “It’s ridiculous,” he said.

“Why?”

“Just...because.”

“Just do it,” Merlin insisted.

Arthur sighed again and took out the wand, lifting it and pursing his lips to blow softly. He hadn’t done it in a while—he actually couldn’t remember the last time he’d blown bubbles—so it wasn’t a very good exhale. Only two small spheres emerged, the rest of the clear sheen in the circle disappearing with a soft _pop_.

It was Merlin’s turn to snort. “Now that _was_ ridiculous.”

Arthur secured the top back in place and handed it back to Merlin. “Whatever.”

Merlin shoved the bottle in his pocket, and then the conversation took such a jarring turn that Arthur wasn’t ready for it.

“Have you been saying it?” Merlin asked.

Arthur furrowed his brow. “Saying what?” However, once the question was out, he already knew the answer, and he felt his stomach drop.

Merlin looked at him evenly. “The thing I told you to say. To keep saying over and over again.”

Arthur turned away. “I told you before I don’t need a life coach. If there was anyone who I wanted to know, I’d be able to tell them just fine.”

“That explains why you were _so_ capable of saying it before without my help.”

“Oh, shut up, Merlin.”

Merlin huffed, and then snapped, “I really hated you for earlier, you know.”

At first, Arthur didn’t know what Merlin was talking about, and thought he was going to get whiplash if Merlin kept changing subjects so quickly. But the event from earlier in the evening still lurked in Arthur’s mind, tugging on his conscience, and it wasn’t hard for him to start feeling guilty again.

“Yeah, I know,” Arthur replied, softening his tone a bit. “I’m sorry.” He _was_ sorry. He couldn’t stand to see his friends hurling abuse at Merlin and knowing it could be him as well.

Merlin crossed his arms over his chest, tucking his fingers into his armpits and staring at the ground as they walked. “Not sorry enough to say anything.”

As if to further emphasise the point, Arthur remained silent, not sure how to respond, or if he even wanted to. He was hardly going to admit that Merlin was right. And he didn’t like the way Merlin was making it seem as though he was a coward for not wanting to come out. Merlin knew he had his reasons.

After the silence between them dragged on for almost a whole minute, Merlin sighed. “Whatever. Let’s fuck again tonight.”

Arthur’s heart skipped a beat at the words. The need for touch was suddenly the most prominent thing in Arthur’s mind.

“Where?” he asked.

“Hmm.” Merlin’s brow furrowed as he considered. “Elena will be with Gwaine in his and Percival’s room, Percival will be with Freya in her and Elena’s room, and my sofa-bed is all kinds of squeaky, so even if we waited until everyone was asleep it’d be too loud.” He looked over at Arthur. “I don’t suppose you think Sefa and Leon will...?”

Arthur shook his head. “Not this soon. Leon’s like Lance in that he takes things incredibly slow. But unlike Lance he’ll realise that the week is half over and time’s running out.”

Merlin nodded. “Yeah, and Sefa would want to wait at least one day. So all bedrooms are out of the question.”

“Bathroom?”

“Probably best. And I remember you saying Leon sleeps like the dead, so I’ll just sneak in and out.”

“Through the window?”

Merlin shrugged. “If it makes you feel better.”

Arthur nodded, finding the idea to his liking. Then he chuckled. “I can’t believe that conversation just happened.”

Merlin didn’t seem to find it as amusing as Arthur did, but he did give Arthur a wry smile. “Yeah. Wouldn’t have to do all this sneaking around though if you weren’t so fucking—”

“ _Mer_ lin.”

“Whatever.”

Merlin said it like an ending, like the prelude to some dramatic exit in which he would start walking a few steps ahead in an angry huff. Arthur was glad that didn’t happen, that instead it just marked the end of their speaking for the remainder of the walk, and that Merlin stayed at his side. Maybe it was because everyone else seemed paired up and in their own private conversation, and anywhere Merlin went it would be almost an intrusion. Maybe he felt the same as Arthur and didn’t _want_ to leave his side.

But following the latter train of thought was dangerous, so Arthur figured it was the former.

☼ ☼ ☼

There was no drinking that night, at least not excessively, for the simple reason that nearly everyone went off to go do something sickeningly romantic. Gwaine disappeared into his room with Elena, Percival was dragged up the stairs after Freya to her room, and Gwen and Lance said they were going to “watch telly upstairs,” which translated to snogging on the sofa.

So it was due to those conditions that Arthur found himself boredly drinking a beer in the living room, with only Merlin, Leon, and Sefa for company, who were each doing the same.

“Let’s watch a film or something,” Leon suggested. He finished off his empty bottle and set it on the table with a hollow thud, then plucked up the remote and started flipping through channels on the television.

Merlin sighed and slumped lower into the sofa where he sat between Arthur and Sefa. Arthur felt the same way Merlin surely did: Why couldn’t the other two just go off like the rest so he and Merlin could fuck already?

“Oh, I love this!” Leon exclaimed upon finding _Hot Fuzz_ only about fifteen minutes in. “This good for you all?”

“I love it too, so it’s fine for me,” Sefa said, smiling.

Arthur nodded. “Sure.”

Merlin shrugged, saying nothing and taking a long sip of his beer that had his Adam’s apple bobbing quickly.

“Cool. Hot Fuzz it is then.” Leon set down the remote and came back to the sofa, sitting noticeably closer to Sefa than he had been before. He leaned back and stretched his long legs out, his hands folded comfortably over his stomach.

Arthur propped his elbow up on the armrest and put his chin in his hand, watching the screen without anything really registering. This whole situation was stupid and everyone knew it. Even if not everyone knew he and Merlin were fucking, they could probably feel the sexual tension in the air as acutely as he could.

“Should we turn the lights off?” Sefa asked after maybe ten minutes.

Merlin got up, setting his beer on the floor as he stood. “I got it.”

He crossed the room and flicked the switch down, throwing the room in shadow save for the dancing colours projected from the screen.

_Great_ , Arthur thought only somewhat miserably. _Just what this group of sex-driven teenagers needed._

And then, not entirely surprisingly, Merlin came back and plopped himself down much closer next to Arthur, a wide gap now separating him from Sefa. Arthur swallowed and tried to appear unaffected as he continued staring blankly ahead at the telly, even though Merlin probably saw right through it. He could see Merlin in his peripheral vision, looking at him for a few seconds before turning to face forward himself.

For the most part, Arthur was lost in his own thoughts, trying and failing not to think about the things he and Merlin would be doing in just a few hours. The tiles in the loo would make the slap of their flesh echo, the gasping louder than normal. There’d be a mirror where Arthur could look if he so chose, maybe watch Merlin fucking him while his hands gripped the sink. It was like Arthur was already there, and yearned to make it reality as soon as possible.

So he didn’t notice what was happening on the other side of the sofa until he heard a soft female moan over the sound of the film. When he did, he snapped his gaze sideways, turning to look past Merlin, and sure enough Sefa’s back was to him, Leon’s arm curled around her middle while they kissed. If Arthur listened closely, he could hear the little slippery sounds of sucked lips and sliding tongues.

_Well. That didn’t take very long at all._

Merlin was still staring straight ahead when Arthur’s eyes grazed over him, but he definitely had a small tilt to his mouth, an amused grin he was trying to hold back. Arthur could see it in Merlin’s sparkling eyes, eyes that shone in the light of the projected images from the screen.

Turning to face forward again, Arthur wondered how far Leon would go with her tonight. Merlin had said Sefa would probably want to wait at least a day, so it would most likely just be heated snogging and an occasional fondle on Leon’s part for now. Still, Arthur wished they’d take it somewhere else, or that he could know for certain they wouldn’t notice if he and Merlin suddenly disappeared into one of the currently empty rooms.

Arthur was back in the theatre of his mind, being fucked by Merlin and still hard from imagining it earlier, when he suddenly felt warmth over his thigh. He jumped up a little in surprise, but he didn’t have to look down to know what it was.

He looked down anyway, because he wanted to see for himself. There it was, Merlin’s hand, the long, nimble fingers curled around Arthur’s left thigh, just a little ways past the knee. Arthur didn’t do anything but stare at first, too stunned by the touch, but then he glanced sideways, nervously checking on Leon and Sefa. He didn’t dare let his eyes land on Merlin, even though Merlin was still looking solely at the screen.

Before Arthur even turned forward again, Merlin’s hand started to move up, sliding slowly over the folds of Arthur’s shorts, and nearing the erection Merlin had undoubtedly noticed. Arthur held his breath and switched his beer to his right hand, placing his left on top of Merlin’s and stilling the motion.

Merlin’s hand squeezed a little, the fingers curling tighter around Arthur’s thigh in silent protest, but Arthur pushed the hand down anyway, back toward his knee. He wouldn’t risk it, not here, not with people present.

He could practically hear Merlin grind his teeth when he finally shoved Merlin’s hand off. Only a few seconds passed before it came back, no slow build-up or sliding this time, just an abrupt positioning at the end of the bulge in Arthur’s shorts that marked the head of his cock. Arthur gasped and tensed instantly, his right hand clutching his beer and his left curling into a tight fist.

Merlin’s thumb started rubbing circles over the head, and it was with great difficulty that Arthur unclenched his fist to put his hand back over Merlin’s with every intent to push away again. But for the life of him, as Merlin slid his hand further up, as he squeezed and rubbed and _stroked_ , Arthur couldn’t bring himself to complete the action. His hand was dead over Merlin’s and he found himself widening his legs just a bit, exhaling shakily when Merlin cupped his balls before returning to his cock.

_God, yeah, that’s...fuck._

Suddenly Merlin’s hand grasped Arthur’s and pulled it, setting it over his own leg where Arthur felt the corresponding hotness. Arthur instinctively glanced over at Leon and Sefa again, but noticed no change. Merlin did look at him then, as though he couldn’t help himself, and he stayed looking at him as he left Arthur’s hand there, taking hold of Arthur’s cock again.

Arthur only felt embarrassed for a moment, then he remembered he’d had his tongue up this boy’s arse earlier today, and the resulting moans he’d made. It would be stupid to get all shy over something like touching him through his shorts in the shadows of the living room now.

With that in mind, Arthur willed himself to reciprocate, and gave a slow stroke down and then back up. Merlin’s lips parted as he did, an unsteady inhale hissing softly through his teeth before an equally unsteady exhale left the same way. His brows pushed together as Arthur grew bolder, squeezed tighter and started up a rhythm.

Maybe it was because the moment was just too intense, but at the same time that Arthur had to look away, Merlin turned back to the telly as well. Merlin also opened his legs a little wider, his right coming flush against Arthur’s left, and on a whim Arthur hooked his calf around Merlin’s, entwining their legs.

Yeah, that was perfect. That felt right. Arthur let his head fall back, breathing as Merlin kept palming him and trying not to moan, while simultaneously rubbing Merlin beside him. It would have been a lot better if they could get a hand under their pants, stroking each other properly, but this was good for now, and honestly as far as Arthur was willing to go with other people in the room.

Arthur’s pulse was already racing, not from being close to finishing—he could never finish from just this, no matter how ultra-sensitive he was to Merlin’s touch—but from the thrill of doing such a thing so brazenly. Arthur dreaded the possibility of Leon catching him, feared it with a passion, but the fact that it _could_ happen just made it all somehow exciting. He was touching _Merlin_ , the gay bloke everyone else had fun taking the piss out of, and he was doing it right under his best mate’s nose! Arthur nearly laughed.

The film was just about to end when Arthur heard breathy chuckling and affectionate whispering from the other side of the sofa. He untangled his leg from Merlin’s and jerked away so quickly that his beer almost slipped from his right hand. A couple drops splashed out, but luckily he didn’t spill it.

Merlin pulled his hand away slowly, reluctantly, and Arthur cleared his throat as he closed his legs. Merlin slid a bit to the left while Leon and Sefa were still being sappy, caressing each other’s faces and whatnot. Arthur also took the opportunity to adjust his shorts, pulling his shirt down a bit to try and hide most of it, and he saw Merlin doing the same. A moment later, Leon and Sefa turned to the TV as well, Sefa laying her head on Leon’s shoulder until the closing credits started rolling.

Arthur yawned loudly. “What time is it?”

Merlin pulled out his mobile. “Just after midnight. Tired already?” he asked, smirking.

“A bit, actually. I did wake up earlier than all of you.”

“I’m sort of knackered, too,” Sefa said, standing. “I’m calling it a night, I think.”

“I’ll probably head to bed soon as well,” Leon remarked. “Any ideas for what we should do tomorrow, Arthur?”

Arthur shrugged. “I don’t care, honestly. Let’s just go to the beach again or something.”

“Oh, yeah, we can go swimming!” Sefa exclaimed. “There’s this really great place, like a hidden river in the woods that not a lot of people go to, and there’s a rope swing over the cliff where you can jump in, and it’s great. And it’s perfect for Merlin since he can’t—”

“Sefa!”

Sefa went wide-eyed at Merlin’s interjection. “Oh, sorry, Merls, I didn’t, um. I didn’t think you wouldn’t want them to know? It’s nothing to be ashamed of or anything...”

“Yeah, and liking cock is nothing to be ashamed of either, but look how they treat me for that. I don’t need something else to be made fun of for, Sefa,” he said. Arthur felt something in his chest tighten.

Leon slid over and put a hand on Merlin’s shoulder. “Hey, look, I’m sorry about Gwaine and Perce. They can be dicks sometimes, but I don’t think they’re actually homophobic or anything. It’s just...how they are.”

“Yeah, whatever. I still don’t need any more of their shit.” He turned to Sefa, who was looking at him pityingly. If it irked Arthur seeing her give Merlin that look, he knew it irked Merlin. “We’ll all just go to the beach, okay? And I’ll just...do what I did last time.”

“But you’ll be left out again,” Sefa whined.

Merlin shrugged, seemingly not caring. Arthur couldn’t tell if he really didn’t or not.

“Look, just tell us what it is,” Arthur said. “Me and Leon won’t judge, will we, Leon?”

“Not at all,” Leon said, shaking his head.

Merlin pursed his lips, considering. “Don’t tell the other two,” he warned.

Arthur shrugged. “Sure. You can trust us. I mean yeah, you’ve only known us three days, but you can totally trust us.”

Leon nodded.

“At the river,” Merlin began, “there’s a ledge at the bottom of the cliff where I can hold on. Because I can’t swim.”

Arthur snorted into his palm, unable to help his snickering. Merlin glared daggers at him, his nostrils flaring, and even Leon was looking at him with a little disappointment.

“Sorry, sorry,” Arthur said. “I’m not laughing at you, really. It’s just a little weird. How do you grow up not learning how to swim? Come _on_.”

“It just never happened, okay? And apparently it’s harder for people to learn the older they get. Plenty of adults don’t know how to swim, you know.”

“I don’t see why it should be any harder for someone who’s seventeen than for someone who’s six,” Arthur said.

“Because it...it gets more intimidating,” Merlin said, looking away. “More frightening.”

“You’re _afraid_ of the water?”

Merlin snapped his head back up. “No! I wouldn’t even go in the water if I was afraid.”

“And yet you cling to your little ledge like a child.”

“Arthur!” Leon chided.

“It’s not like that!” Merlin declared. “And natural bodies of water aren’t like pools. Sometimes you can stand perfectly fine and then you take a step and there’s nothing there. I almost drowned once because I thought I was safe. Sorry if I’m a little fucking hesitant!”

Arthur swallowed, feeling everyone’s gaze on him like a hot brand. Even Sefa looked annoyed with him, and Arthur felt remorse coiling in his stomach.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Arthur began.

“Yeah? How exactly did you mean it? ‘Cause it sure sounded like you were comparing me to some frightened, useless kid.”

“Okay, I admit the whole ‘clinging to the ledge’ thing was a little much. But I was just asking if you were afraid because I’d...I’d teach you. You know, to swim. If you wanted me to.”

Merlin looked at him, unconvinced. “You’d teach me to swim. In a day,” he stated flatly.

“Well, I’d teach you to tread water. It’s not exactly swimming but it’s enough to make you feel like you won’t drown if you suddenly lose your footing. That’s all anyone does when they go to the beach anyway, is hang around treading water. So you won’t be left out.”

“And when exactly would we do this?” Merlin asked. “I won’t do it where those other two knobs can watch.”

Arthur sighed. “Well that makes things a bit unnecessarily difficult, doesn’t it?”

“I’ll ask the others if they want to go to the beach,” Leon suggested. “You two can make some excuse to stay behind, then slip out to the river.”

Sefa grinned and nodded. “I think that’s a great idea, Leon. And if I tell the others—the girls, I mean—they’ll go along with it. They’ll be so excited Merlin will be learning to swim.”

“Tread water,” Merlin pointed out.

“It’s basically the same thing, Merls. If you can tread water, you can swim.”

“I guess...”

“It’s settled then,” Leon said, getting to his feet. “We’ll all go swimming tomorrow, come back and change, then go out to dinner again?”

Arthur shrugged. “Sounds about right.”

“Great.” Leon turned to Sefa. “I should probably get your mobile number. To, uh, contact you when we’re leaving.”

Sefa nodded as Leon dug in his pocket. “That makes sense.”

While Sefa tapped her number into Leon’s phone, Leon looked back at Merlin. “And you should give Arthur your number as well. Just in case.”

“Um, okay?” Merlin said.

Judging by Merlin’s tone, Arthur figured they were of the same mindset. What could go wrong with this plan, and why would they need each other’s numbers if they were sharing a house? But as Merlin put his number into Arthur’s phone, Arthur remembered what they’d be doing later tonight, and how this would certainly make it easier for Arthur to tell Merlin whether or not Leon was asleep. When Merlin handed him back his mobile and their eyes met, he saw Merlin was once again thinking the same thing.

☼ ☼ ☼

_< he’s snoring  >_ Arthur texted almost three hours later. After only one minute—Arthur did, actually, stare at his mobile and time it—he heard soft footsteps on the stairs through the open window. A few seconds later, the familiar mop of dark hair appeared just over the sill.

Merlin’s fingers curled over the edge as Arthur got up from the bed. Merlin’s head popped up, and his grinning face made him look twelve instead of seventeen.

“Miss me, baby?” he asked in a whisper.

Arthur tried to laugh as quietly as he could as he helped Merlin through the window. “You’re utterly ridiculous, Merlin.” Merlin managed to climb through much more successfully—though not necessarily more gracefully—with Arthur’s help. “Did you bring it?”

“Do you think I’m an idiot? No, don’t answer that.”

Arthur went and reached under his pillow where he’d hidden the condom just for the occasion. He looked across the room at Leon’s sleeping form as he did so, watching carefully the slow rise and fall of Leon’s chest as he breathed. His mouth was open a little, and he was still snoring, so that was a good sign. He was still deep asleep.

Arthur followed Merlin to the loo, closing the door softly  Merlin pulled the packet of lube from his shorts and set it on the sink before shoving them down and off along with those lovely navy y-fronts. Arthur wore only pants himself, and was equally naked just as quickly.

“How should we do this?” Merlin asked as he stroked his cock to hardness.

Arthur looked around as though he was considering, but he already knew exactly how he wanted to do it. After a few seconds, he took a step forward, gripping the edge of the sink, and widened his stance. He caught Merlin’s eye in the mirror and said, “Like this.”

Merlin’s resulting grin was one of those deliciously filthy ones that never failed to make Arthur’s blood blazing hot. Merlin stepped up, putting his hands on Arthur’s hips, and pressed his cock into the cleft of Arthur’s arse.

“Kinky,” he said into Arthur’s ear. “I like it.”

Arthur took a breath. “Yeah, well, when you’re fucking in a bathroom you have to do _something_ to make it seem like you’re not, you know, fucking in a bathroom.”

Merlin chuckled and stepped away to pick up the lube packet, tearing it open. “I’m assuming it’s been a while for you? You’re starting to shake again.”

Arthur ignored the remark on his trembling body, and tried to gain some control over it. But he almost couldn’t help it; he’d wanted this to happen pretty much since he laid eyes on Merlin, and now it was.

“If you count six months as a while, then yeah,” Arthur replied. He wasn’t going to tell Merlin that that had just been the last time he’d taken a real cock, and that his dildo had been there much more recently.

He gasped at the first slippery touch to his hole. The lube was a little cold, in contrast to Merlin’s hot fingers.

“Want me to go slow?” Merlin asked quietly, his finger rubbing circles around the rim. “Be gentle?”

“Just at first. But then...don’t.”

Merlin’s finger thrust in, penetrating him, and Arthur gripped the sink tighter. He closed his eyes, unable to bear watching his and Merlin’s faces in the mirror, at least for the moment. He forced himself to breathe, to _stop bloody shaking_ , as Merlin’s long finger swirled deep inside, working him steadily open, before pumping in and out.

Arthur exhaled slowly, shakily, and didn’t know where to put his head. He wanted to let it fall back onto Merlin’s shoulder, to feel Merlin’s cheek against his while he pushed his arse back. But that would be weird, definitely much too intimate a gesture given the _arrangement_ they had. So Arthur let his head droop forward, breathing heavily through his nose while Merlin loosened him up.

When Merlin tried to slide in a second finger after nearly two minutes, Arthur reached back and put a hand on his wrist.

“Don’t,” Arthur stopped him. “Just...”

“‘Kay.”

Merlin’s finger slid free and he picked up the condom from where Arthur had laid it on top of the toilet seat. Arthur finally raised his head and opened his eyes, wanting to watch Merlin’s face in the mirror as he rolled the condom on, put a hand on Arthur’s hip, and lined up.

Merlin’s hand came up to Arthur’s back, pushing a little. “Bend over a bit,” he said, making Arthur lean forward.

Arthur bent further over the sink, pushing his arse back, and stared at Merlin’s concentrated face all the while. Merlin seemed intent on his task, his eyes glued to where he was about to slide his cock in, and Arthur pushed back even more, suddenly impatient.

He expected some sort of teasing remark or quip, but Merlin said nothing. He simply gave Arthur what he wanted, did it not slowly but not quickly, and walked a couple steps forward until the front of his thighs were flush against Arthur’s, burying his cock inside. Arthur’s initially needy whimper turned into a low moan as he took Merlin in.

_God, I fucking love his cock_ , Arthur thought as he clenched, the pain fading with each passing second. _I loved it before, but now...fuck._

Merlin started slowly, as Arthur had asked, giving long, deep thrusts that made Arthur feel perfectly full. He didn’t raise his eyes to meet Arthur’s in the mirror, choosing instead to watch himself plunge in and out, and Arthur found himself wishing the mirror was long enough to show below their waists so he could have an idea of what it looked like. From the way Merlin was holding onto Arthur’s hip, his palm spreading Arthur’s arse just slightly, and from the way he was biting his lip, he seemed to enjoy what he was seeing.

And then, just as Merlin sped up and the sound of their skin making contact grew sharper, louder, Merlin raised his eyes to look at Arthur, holding his gaze in the mirror. Arthur’s breath came a bit more unsteadily, and when he clenched again, squeezing purposefully around Merlin’s perfect cock, Merlin’s brow furrowed in pleasure, his throat rumbling with a deep moan. He seemed unable to control himself, and slammed into Arthur hard enough to shunt Arthur forward.

“Nngh!” Arthur grunted in surprise. He would’ve been embarrassed by how wrecked his face looked in the mirror if he weren’t so fucking turned on. “Yeah, again,” he gasped. “Fuck, again.”

“It’s already...already too loud,” Merlin panted.

Arthur knew he was right. As he’d imagined earlier, the slapping of flesh was a harsh sound in the room, making Arthur nearly wince every time it was particularly noisy. But Arthur could hardly care about that when the sweet slide of Merlin’s cock was the foremost sensation, when his own dick was beading up and dripping and throbbingly hard from just _knowing_ Merlin was inside him.

“Don’t—don’t care,” Arthur said. And at that he did have to look away from the mirror, hang his head low again as he bent further and thrust backwards. “Just—come on, fuck me. _Hard_ , Merlin.”

“Oh, fuck—”

There was a sudden loss of contact as Merlin’s left leg came up, his foot anchoring on the toilet beside their coupling bodies. As Merlin leaned forward a bit, bringing his chest closer to Arthur’s back, Arthur thought maybe Merlin was even standing on the tips of his toes, because now it felt more like he was pressing down and in rather than forward and in.

Either way, it was a definite improvement, and Merlin seemed to know he was doing the right thing by curling an arm around Arthur’s middle as he pistoned into him. It was just the sort of strength and roughness that Arthur always wanted, that he always _craved_ , and if he lowered his gaze down enough, he could see Merlin’s arm where it was wrapped around him, could see the bulging tendons in the muscles Arthur hadn’t even known Merlin had.

“That—that better?” Merlin asked. God, Arthur loved how strained his voice sounded. “This how you want it, Arthur?”

Arthur reached back and grabbed hold of Merlin’s raised thigh, feeling the taut muscles under his hand as Merlin used them to fuck relentlessly. “Y-Yeah. God yeah, just like that. Finally something you can do right.”

Merlin chuckled breathlessly, as though he saw right through Arthur’s attempt to seem less needy. He gave a little hop, his right foot sliding forward on the tile, and then he was pressing against Arthur even more. Arthur didn’t think it was possible for Merlin to drive any deeper, for his hips to snap any harder, but maybe Merlin wasn’t, maybe it was just that the angle had changed perfectly and it simply felt that way.

“Oh, oh, _fuck_ yeah...”

The arm bracketed around Arthur’s stomach moved up, Merlin’s palm flattening to Arthur’s chest and bringing their torsos the final distance together. It made Arthur’s head raise a bit, and he once again looked into the mirror, meeting Merlin’s eyes and finding them just as desperately wild as his own, his jaw gone just as slack. Arthur blushed at his appearance at first, embarrassed by how much he was obviously loving it, but he felt less so when he realised Merlin wasn’t much different. And even though the mirror wasn’t long enough to show what was going on lower down, just the sight of them together, being able to _feel_ what was happening, was hotter than Arthur could have ever imagined.

Merlin leaned in and did something entirely unexpected—he sucked on Arthur’s ear, swirling his tongue around the hanging lobe before moving on to mouth at Arthur’s jaw. He didn’t do it very hard or very long, certainly not long enough to leave a mark, but just as if it were something to do because he could, and the look of possession in Merlin’s eyes had Arthur unintentionally whimpering.

“God, you’re so fucking hot, Arthur,” Merlin breathed. The sensation sent shivers down Arthur’s spine, and Merlin’s hoarse, honey voice went straight to his cock. “I’m—I’m close. Touch yourself and come with me, yeah?”

Arthur was fairly certain that he’d be coming soon whether he touched his cock or not.The heady combination of Merlin open-mouth panting against his cheek, the frantic thrusting into his arse, and the clutching of his skin, was more than enough to bring him to the edge and then push him over. But he had a feeling that if he let Merlin see him come untouched then he’d never hear the end of it, so he took his hand from Merlin’s thigh and did as Merlin asked, wrapping a loose fist around himself.

As soon as he did, Merlin stopped thrusting, only gave a few more weak jerks of his hips as he gasped wetly into Arthur’s skin. Arthur could tell just from that and the glazed look in Merlin’s eyes that he’d come, and squeezed one final time around Merlin’s cock as he stroked himself to quick completion. He came with a drawn out moan, spurting once forcefully onto the sink, the rest dripping over his fingers to the floor. He sagged as the tense warmth in his groin receded.

It felt suddenly too quiet now that the sound of slapping skin was gone, but the wet sound of Merlin pulling out was there to make Arthur cringe in its place. He lowered his eyes from the mirror again as he leaned over the sink and caught his breath, silently revelling in the dull, throbbing ache that meant his hole had been properly used. Part of him wanted to reach back and feel it, to trace the sensitive rim with his finger, but he didn’t dare do it while Merlin was still there.

“Jesus,” Merlin said as he flushed the condom, “that was...Jesus.”

Arthur chuckled. “Wasn’t bad.”

Merlin shook his head as though he wanted to say ‘wasn’t bad’ was a huge understatement, which, to be fair, it was. Instead, he said nothing and reached down to pick up his briefs. Arthur followed suit and put on his own pants, then began the unpleasant task of wiping up his come from the sink and floor as Merlin finished dressing. Both actions took little time, considering there hadn’t been much and that Merlin had worn only shorts in order to come visit Arthur.

“Why’d you offer to teach me how to swim?” Merlin asked as Arthur flushed the tissue he’d used to clean up. The question seemed sudden and random, and when Arthur looked up, he saw Merlin’s expression was genuinely curious.

“Because I want you to know how to swim.”

Immediately after Arthur said it, he felt like he should have said something else, anything but the truth. Because the truth sounded weird and personal, and Arthur wasn’t even sure why he wanted Merlin to know how to swim or why he wanted to be the one to teach him, but he did.

That feeling of regret didn’t last long though, because Merlin’s face broke out in a smile at Arthur’s words, and Arthur was pretty much doomed in all respects when it came to Merlin smiling. Luckily it wasn’t one of those face-stretching, eye-crinkling smiles that took Arthur’s breath away embarrassingly quickly.

“Okay,” Merlin said. “Now come on, let me out, I’m knackered.”

That’s when Arthur realised that somewhere along the line, they’d stopped whispering, and he tried to cast his mind back, wondering if he’d been speaking particularly loudly when he’d told Merlin to fuck him harder. Arthur lost his breath for a completely different reason then, and he was suddenly very uncertain of whether or not he was ready to open this door.

It must have shown on Arthur’s face, because Merlin put a hand to his elbow and spoke gently, but firmly. “Just look out and check.”

If it weren’t for the fact that Arthur really didn’t like having to be _comforted_ by _Merlin_ , he would’ve taken much longer to compose himself before peeking out. However, Merlin’s calming hand on his arm was too much like affection, so Arthur swallowed and turned to open the door a crack.

The room was as Arthur had left it, his own bedding still rumpled from where he’d jumped out earlier. Arthur looked to the right where Leon lay, and the only thing that had changed there was that the duvet was thrown back a little, as though Leon had gotten too hot in his sleep and his legs kicked them off. Arthur listened a few seconds, and could just barely make out Leon’s snoring.

Arthur flinched when he felt a hand on his hip and breath in his ear. “See? You were worried for nothing,” Merlin whispered over his shoulder.

Arthur gripped the door knob tighter and took a deep breath. Why was Merlin still touching him? They’d fucked, and any closeness between them was over for now, right? What purpose did Merlin’s hand on Arthur’s side serve? And why did Arthur sort of want to melt back into him to have that hand slide around, to have it become a full embrace?

“Yeah, whatever,” Arthur whispered back, opening the door fully so they could walk out. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

Merlin crossed the short distance to the window and swung his legs over like he had the first night. “Yeah. Tomorrow. Should be interesting.” He hopped down and disappeared, his retreating footsteps the only evidence left of him.

Arthur sighed and plopped back down onto his bed, wincing when the ache in his arse flared up slightly.

_Tomorrow_ , Arthur thought wistfully as he stared at the ceiling. _With Merlin in the river clinging onto me instead of that stupid ledge._

He could already imagine it, and was already drifting off happily to the fantasy of Merlin calling him a prat but then clutching desperately because he was still so obviously frightened of drowning. His long, gorgeous legs would be kicking in the clear blue water and his face would be glistening in the sunlight. It’d be so perfect...

As Arthur was slipping into unconsciousness, he frowned a little and thought, _We didn’t kiss that time._


	5. Day 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summer, after all, is a time when wonderful things can happen to quiet people. For those few months, you’re not required to be who everyone thinks you are, and that cut-grass smell in the air and the chance to dive into the deep end of a pool give you a courage you don’t have the rest of the year. You can be grateful and easy, with no eyes on you, and no past. Summer just opens the door and lets you out. 
> 
> \- Deb Caletti, _Honey, Baby, Sweetheart_

Arthur didn’t wake up slowly like he had the previous mornings. He jerked awake abruptly, snapped out of a dream he couldn’t remember but which had him sweating all over. He sat up, darting his eyes around the room, though he could find nothing that may have caused his sudden awakening.

He rubbed his eyes and slid to the end of the bed, yawning. It was as he moved that he felt the barely-there ache still in his arse, and the events of the previous night came flooding back.

Arthur darted his eyes around again—the window, Leon’s bed, the en suite just a few steps in front of him. He stood up slowly, like he was approaching a frightened animal, and crossed to the loo, flickers of last night running through his head. It was different in the daytime, and standing before the sink, looking at himself in the mirror, Arthur almost thought he’d dreamt it. His arse, however, indicated it was no dream.

He touched the porcelain bowl of the sink, running his fingers around the edge in remembrance. It’d been only hours before that he’d been standing there, at the same sink, getting fucked in front of the same mirror, while Leon lay sleeping and ignorant on the other side of the door. Arthur chuckled, not able to hold back the bubbling laughter that spilled out.

“Arthur?”

Arthur whipped his head to the side at the sound of Leon’s voice just as Leon walked into view. “Yeah?”

“Just wanted to let you know Elena’s been informed about the plan. She thinks it’s great you’re helping Merlin and she’s happy to play along to get Gwaine to the beach if anything goes wrong. Apparently she texted Freya too, so by now all the girls know.”

“Oh, that’s...good,” Arthur said.

But was it good? What did they think of him? Before now, he wasn’t sure if they saw him as just another bloke who wanted to catch a girl, or as the brooding, blond bloke, because he certainly hadn’t done much talking around them. What if they saw through him? What if they _knew_?

“Thanks, by the way,” Leon interrupted Arthur’s inner worries. “With the whole Sefa thing. She’s great,” he finished smiling.

Arthur shrugged. “It was nothing. She’s definitely fit, but not exactly...not exactly my type. I mean, her demeanour is so...fragile. I’m just glad she wasn’t so persistent that it became awkward.”

“Yeah. Merlin was a great help steering her my way, too.”

Arthur couldn’t help the slight grin on his face. _Yeah, because of me._ “Yeah. So what time is it?”

“Eleven-ish. Lance cooked again before going for a run with Gwen this morning, so I’d hurry up and get something before it’s gone.”

“Cool, I’ll be right there.”

Leon left and Arthur closed the door behind him. He used the loo, then went back into the bedroom to get dressed. He put on the shorts he wore the day before and didn’t bother with a top. He was just about to walk out when his mobile _ding_ ed with a notification. It was from Merlin.

_\- are we gonna fuck at the river -_

Arthur’s heart skipped. He looked over his shoulder at the bedroom door and thumbed a reply.

_< rather public don’t you think?  >_

_\- hardly anyone goes there -_

_< hardly being the key word  >_

_\- so thats a no then? -_

Arthur paused. It’d be easy to say no, and to say that they should just fuck in one of the rooms either before or after they go instead. But he _had_ already fucked someone in a park this summer. This wouldn’t be at night, and definitely not in a place where other blokes went cruising for this specific purpose, but it was also summer, and really, how bad could the consequences be? Anyone who happened along wouldn’t know them, and would just run off. Gwaine would certainly go for it.

_< alright fine we’ll fuck at the river  >_

_\- brill. your turn to top -_

_< i know  >_

_\- i’ll suck you off before we leave. i heard it’s easier to last the second time round -_

_< i did tell you i usually top at home didn’t i? and there wasnt any trouble when i did it before  >_

_\- so this time you’ll last even longer. see you in a bit :) -_

Arthur snorted as he shoved his mobile into his pocket. Cheeky as ever. But Arthur wasn’t going to complain; a blow job was a blow job, and already he was looking forward to Merlin’s perfect lips around his cock.

Arthur was surprised when he walked into the living area and saw Elena and Sefa among Gwaine, Leon, and Percival. He halted for a moment in the doorway, thinking maybe he should’ve put on a shirt after all.

“Morning, Arthur,” Sefa greeted him. She was blushing and her eyes kept darting up and down. Yeah, definitely should have opted for a shirt. But it was too late now, and it would look weird if Arthur suddenly got all shy.

He took a seat at the table beside where Elena was sitting across Gwaine’s lap. “Morning,” he said, grabbing a bit of toast. “Surprised you two are up this early,” he directed to Gwaine and Percival.

“What can I say, I had a tiring night,” Gwaine replied, grinning. Arthur was pretty sure he saw the fingers of Gwaine’s hand squeeze Elena’s arse. That would explain why she suddenly jerked up and rolled her eyes.

Arthur chuckled and tore a bite out of his toast. “And you Perce? How’d all _that_ go?”

Percival didn’t look away from the telly, but Arthur noticed a blush creep over his face, an actual _blush_.

“I don’t even know who I am anymore,” he said blankly.

Arthur burst into laughter along with everyone else, nearly choking on his food. What the hell had Freya done to him?

“I think he’s having a crisis,” Leon said. “He’s hardly spoken a word, hasn’t even bragged.”

“Poor thing,” Elena cooed. “If it makes you feel any better, you aren’t the first, Percival.”

That set them all laughing again, of course, and Arthur wished he had video footage of what had happened. Or at least that he knew the details. This might’ve been better than Lance’s Barcelona ordeal.

Arthur was just about done eating when Leon took a sip of beer and said, “Sefa and I were thinking about going to the beach today. Any of you wanna join us?”

“I’m up for the beach,” Gwaine agreed. “We’ve only gone once. About time we went again.”

“Will you build a sandcastle with me?” Elena asked, carding her fingers through Gwaine’s hair.

“Sure. I haven’t built one in ages. Should be fun.”

“I’ll go,” Percival said from the sofa.

“You sure Freya will let you?” Arthur teased, quirking a brow.

“I’ll ask.” Percival blushed again when they all started laughing. “I meant I’ll ask if she wants to come with me, you twats. She doesn’t own me.”

“‘Course not, mate,” Arthur said. “How are your wrists, by the way?”

Percival’s blush deepened, but he turned on Arthur angrily. “Oh, shut up, I don’t see you getting any,” he snapped. “You may as well take Merlin up on his offer at the rate you’re going, since clearly you’ve been too much of a pansy to find a girl all summer.”

Arthur felt anger and panic boiling in his stomach, and he ground his teeth because he didn’t know which emotion was stronger or which to act on. He sat there glaring at Percival, silent and furious as people talked around him.

“Percival!” Leon exclaimed. “It was a joke! You know Arthur didn’t mean anything by it.”

“And quit bringing Merlin into things. He has nothing to do with this and it’s not funny!” Elena yelled.

Gwaine groaned. “I have to say, that _was_ a bit of an overreaction, Perce. Arthur could have had plenty of girls, he’s just been letting them slip through his fingers ‘cause he’s a decent bloke. Exhibit A,” he finished with a nod in Sefa’s direction.

Arthur relaxed a bit and started to breathe easier. He turned back to his breakfast and muttered, “ _You’re_ the pansy seeing as how you can’t even take a joke.” Beside him, Gwaine snickered.

“Oh, fuck off,” Percival said, dismissing the entire conversation with a wave and looking back to the TV. “You made me miss the end of Gumball,” he added bitterly.

Arthur shoved the rest of his toast in his mouth. “Anyway, you lot have fun at the beach. I’ll probably sit here a while then walk around or something. Not much in the mood for being the seventh wheel.”

Gwaine laughed again and ruffled Arthur’s hair. “Aw, maybe you’ll find a nice girl on your travels and get invited back to her place.”

“And if all else fails, I could just pay someone.”

Sefa’s jaw dropped in horror.

“Just another joke,” Arthur assured her, chuckling. “I’d never actually do that.”

“Yeah, he’s much too like Lance that way,” Gwaine remarked. “Not that I’d do it either,” he added quickly at Elena’s raised eyebrow.

Arthur washed his food down with water. If only they knew that he’d almost paid that nameless man in Amsterdam before said man simply shook his head and told Arthur it’d been fun.

☼ ☼ ☼

“You’ll probably be back before us, right?” Leon asked an hour later.

Through the open door, Arthur saw the others outside on the pavement, standing around with their towels over their shoulders waiting for Leon. In a moment, they’d yell and tell him to hurry up.

“Yeah,” Arthur said, nodding. “It’d ruin everything if I came back wet from swimming after saying I didn’t wanna go. So don’t worry about getting locked out.”

“Great. And, er, have fun with Merlin, I guess,” he said, turning to go.

What was that supposed to mean? ‘Have fun with Merlin?’ Did Leon hear them after all? Did he know? His reaction would’ve been different if he knew something, right?

Arthur was about to say something along the lines of “Merlin’s insufferably annoying, how could I have fun with him?” when Leon shut the door behind him and was gone. So Arthur stared at the animated characters on the telly instead, left wondering if he should ask Leon later how he slept last night.

Once Arthur was sure everyone else was out of sight of the house, he got up to change into his swimming shorts. His towel from when they’d gone to the beach a few days ago had been cast carelessly aside, but after a few shakes out the window to rid it of sand it was fine. He got a condom from his bag and put it into his pocket along with his wallet and key, then threw the towel over his shoulder and went back to the living room for his shoes. By the time he was walking up the stairs to the upper flat, Arthur’s pulse was racing from the hasty preparation as well as anticipation.

Merlin opened the door and pulled him in before he even knocked. The towel fell to the floor, and Merlin dropped to his knees along with it.

“M-Miss me, baby?” Arthur gasped as he was pushed back.

Merlin chuckled and tugged down Arthur’s shorts. “Not even a little.” He wrapped a hand around the base of Arthur’s half hard cock and darted forward, licking once up the side. “Mmm. Alright, maybe a little.”

Arthur moaned and jerked his hips forwards, but Merlin held him still. He placed more teasing licks to the head, kissing it and twirling his tongue around it and generally driving Arthur mad from how filthy it looked.

“Don’t worry about lasting,” Merlin reminded him. “No need to try and stop yourself.”

“Noted.”

With that, Merlin finally quit lingering and swallowed Arthur down. He moulded his lips to the shaft and Arthur felt the flat of his tongue sliding along the bottom with each motion. And then Merlin’s tongue _curled_ around the head when he reached the top, and Arthur wasn’t even sure how that worked. He dug his fingers in Merlin’s soft hair and let his head fall back, closing his eyes as he just breathed and basked in the wet warmth of Merlin’s perfect mouth.

The heat and tension in his groin skyrocketed when Merlin picked up speed, and Arthur bit his lip before he remembered what Merlin had said. Then he let go, his orgasm not nearly as powerful or satisfying as the previous night, but not at all bad.

What he didn’t expect was for Merlin to keep his lips pursed around him as he spurted out. He watched in awe as Merlin seemed to take it all without so much as blinking.

And seriously? They hardly knew each other. He didn’t even know Merlin’s last name!

But as soon as Arthur dropped his weight against the door, Merlin quickly got up and crossed the room to the sink. He leaned over it and Arthur heard him spit multiple times.

“Why’d you do that?” Arthur asked, pulling up his shorts as Merlin gargled a mouthful of water.

Merlin spat into the sink again. “Didn’t want it on me, or on the floor. Seemed like a decent idea.” He turned around, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Come on, let’s go. River’s almost a fifteen minute walk away.”

☼ ☼ ☼

“If people are there, the fucking is out of the question, you know,” Arthur said. He winced as he stepped through another patch of thorns, wishing he at least was wearing flip flops.

“Yeah, obviously. I mean _I_ don’t care if someone sees us since nobody knows me here, but that doesn’t mean I _want_ it to happen. And think of the children!”

Arthur swatted away a buzzing fly, hoping it wasn’t a bee. Were there bees in Avalon? He supposed there had to be bees everywhere.

“Great. Just making sure. How much further? I hate walking through forests.”

“That’s because you probably grew up in the city, you posh arse.”

“And what, you grew up on a farm? I’m fucking a _farm boy?_ Do you ride horses and work the fields?” he teased. Actually that didn’t sound so bad. The image of Merlin and his tattooed chest all dirty with soil and sweat was certainly pleasurable. But then, Merlin would be much more muscular if he worked all day.

Merlin looked over his shoulder, glancing over Arthur with amusement, as though he could read Arthur’s thoughts. “More like the suburbs. I used to play in the woods a lot. Definitely not a farm boy.”

“Yeah? Where? If, um, you don’t mind me asking.”

Merlin stopped and turned around, and Arthur couldn’t really fault him for the eyebrow raise. Everything about the question was off, from the fact that Arthur asked at all, to the awkward way he’d added ‘if you don’t mind me asking.’

“Leytonstone...” Merlin said.

“Oh.” For some reason, Arthur had expected the knowledge to change things. It didn’t. It was like Merlin was _saying_ he was from there, but all Arthur knew was this Avalon Merlin, so it didn’t really register.

“Yeah, boring Leytonstone suburbs,” Merlin finished, turning back around. “‘Spose you’re from London?”

“I wasn’t always. I used to live in boring Cheltenham until we moved when I was five. But London is all I really know, so I guess, yeah.”

“Cheltenham. Of course.”

The conversation was cut short when they suddenly came out of the treeline and onto a rocky shore. Arthur hadn’t seen any lagoons in his time, but that was the first word that came to mind when looking at the sight before him. The water was a clear, sparkling blue—Arthur did his best not to liken it to Merlin’s eyes, and utterly failed—and there were tall, leafy trees around the entire perimeter, save for where the river continued on downstream. After walking further in, over pebbles and dirt, there was only rock and stone, and Merlin dropped his towel over the largest, flattest surface.

And to the left, there was indeed a tall cliff, an outcropping of rock that begged to be jumped from into the blue depths below. The rope swing hanging from a tree branch high above indicated he wasn’t the only person who thought so.

Beside Arthur, Merlin sighed. Arthur shifted his gaze back down and saw Merlin looking up at it too, but with less awe and more longing.

“You’ve never done it,” Arthur said.

Merlin’s jaw tightened and he looked away. “I can’t. Put your stuff down and come on.”

Merlin started for the bottom of the cliff and Arthur cleared his pockets, putting his things down on top of Merlin’s towel and placing his own over it to hide them. He jogged back up to Merlin’s side and followed him.

The ledge Merlin had been referring to looked a bit like a natural bench. Arthur had imagined something that came further out at first, something that perhaps was a danger to those jumping from above. Then he’d thought maybe it was narrow, that maybe Merlin really did have to cling in order to hold on. But it was actually wide enough for them to sit on, yet narrow enough that anyone jumping would only have to worry if they dropped straight down. The edge looked a little sharp in some areas, but mostly it seemed to be smooth and weathered down.

Arthur followed Merlin’s lead and sat on the ledge before sliding into the water. Arthur thought about letting go and keeping himself afloat, but perhaps that’d be a bit like bragging.

“Ready?” Arthur asked.

Merlin eyed the ledge, then the water, uncertainly. “I guess.”

“Let go, then.”

Merlin scoffed. “That’s your advice? Let go? Just like that?”

“Well how else are you going to do it? Just let go for second, see how long you can keep yourself up, then grab it again. It’s not like the current is strong, so you won’t get carried away. The ledge’ll be right there. I just need to see what you do when you try. Like an assessment.”

Merlin chewed his lip, and his fingers drummed the wet rock in contemplation. “Why did I even agree to this? Plenty of people don’t know to how to swim, this is stupid.”

“Merlin.”

“Arthur.”

“Let go.”

Merlin frowned at the ledge, then looked at Arthur warningly. “Don’t laugh at me.”

“I didn’t come here to laugh at you. Would you just bloody let go already?”

Arthur expected at least one more remark, but Merlin let go suddenly, his legs kicking furiously beneath the water. He stayed mostly afloat for a few seconds, gasping for breath from the effort, but then he started slowly sinking, until he had to tilt his head back and lift his face to the sky.

Arthur fought the urge to reach out and grab him. The ledge was still clearly within Merlin’s grasp, so if Merlin wasn’t reaching for it now, it was because he was still trying, determined to last longer.

But Arthur wasn’t sure how much more he could take. Merlin’s face kept slipping under the surface, his eyes squeezed shut as he thrashed around like a wild animal, or more accurately, like a man drowning.

And then Merlin’s hand darted out and gripped the ledge again, his other coming up to rub his eyes free of water. Arthur hadn’t even moved but he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

_Don’t ever do that to me again, you idiot_.

“Assessment completed?” Merlin asked through wet lips. He hair was drenched too, everything about him entirely changed due to the addition of a bit of water.

Arthur swallowed. “Yeah. You’re fighting it too much. Your legs are like you’re riding a bicycle but they should be much more graceful. Your arms are slapping too much and you do this windmill thing that certainly doesn’t help. You panic when you need to stay calm.”

“How can I stay calm when I feel like I’m drowning?”

Arthur finally let go of the ledge and pushed a little ways back. “Here, watch me. Watch my arms and legs.”

Arthur let himself float, giving a sudden kick of his legs whenever he felt himself dipping too far beneath the water line. “My legs are in constant motion, see,” he explained. “Very fluid, very relaxed. It’s not a fight, it’s a cooperation. The water will help you float if you just know how to let it.”

He waved his arms out beside him, keeping himself steady and propelling himself backward when he felt the slow current pulling him further away from Merlin.

“My arms are just for balance. I’m hardly moving them at all. Legs keep you up, and that’s why they get the most tired after a while. Why do you think swimmers look so bloody fit? It takes a tonne of muscles to be able to do this for long periods of time.”

Merlin laughed. “Makes sense.”

“It’s like a dance. You have to be in sync. When you get in sync once, it’s easy to pick it up again. Come on, try.”

Merlin looked doubtful. “You make it sound easy.”

“Which is why you have to practise for yourself. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll see how easy it is. And why people like me find it incredibly odd that there are others who don’t know how to swim, when it feels so natural.”

“Could you...could you hold me?”

Arthur’s heart soared. _Yes, yes, I’ll hold you!_

“Sure.”

He swam back to the ledge and wrapped an arm around Merlin, just under his armpits so his arms were free to move. Merlin seemed to have much less difficulty moving away from the ledge then, and Arthur may have taken guilty pleasure in holding him so close. It was just like his daydream from the night before.

“You’re breathing too quickly,” Arthur said, distancing himself from his thoughts. “Try to stay calm, or you’ll run out breath too soon. Even though you’re not swimming or going underwater, treading does take a little breath control.”

“Right,” Merlin said. “Stay calm, control my breathing, don’t drown.”

Arthur pulled Merlin further away from the rock, until there was nothing but Arthur for him to grip tightly. Which he did. By wrapping an equally clingy arm around Arthur’s torso.

But Merlin wasn’t doing much beside just letting Arthur hold him afloat. He was hardly moving his legs, and what little movements he did make seemed almost leisurely.

“Merlin?”

“Just...give me a second. Trying to get used to being out in the open with nothing but _you_ to keep me alive.”

“I’m slightly insulted.”

“As you slightly should be.”

“I could drop you right now, you know.”

Merlin’s eyes widened in panic, and he swung his other arm around Arthur’s chest, clinging hard enough that Arthur thought Merlin intended to drag him underwater with him.

“Don’t you dare drop me,” Merlin warned. His voice was firm—for the most part. Arthur was almost certain he detected a shaky edge to it.

“I was only kidding,” Arthur said. “I wouldn’t do that.”

Merlin didn’t say anything, and his breath only seemed to be coming quicker, as if he was about to have a panic attack. He looked down at the water, at the clear blue where it turned darker and darker until finally there was only blackness deep blow, and his fingers curled into Arthur’s side as he started gasping.

“Merlin.” If Arthur had a hand free, he would’ve turned Merlin’s head to face him. As it was, he could only give Merlin a little shake to knock him out of it. “Merlin!”

“What if you do drop me?” Merlin said, almost like he was speaking to himself. “What if it’s an accident, or I slip, and I keep sinking and sinking until I reach the bottom, and you come swimming after me but it’s dark and you can’t see, and I’m floating there unable to breathe or scream and then—”

“That won’t happen, Merlin. Merlin!” Arthur shook him again, forcing Merlin to look at him. He finally met Arthur’s eyes, and they were large, full of worry. “That won’t happen. I’d never let anything happen to you. I promise.”

Arthur tried to relay with his eyes how much he meant it, because he did mean it. The thought of Merlin falling into the dark depths, clutching for air that wasn’t there, frightened Arthur just as much as it frightened Merlin. Arthur had had to cut Merlin off in his rambling because he couldn’t bear to hear it.

Merlin must have found some sort of reassurance in Arthur’s eyes, because he finally set his jaw and nodded. His right arm slipped away, and then his left, until it was only Arthur who had an arm wrapped around him.

“Legs first,” Arthur said. He’d had to take a moment to get his own fears under control, but now he was able to at least get back to business somewhat.

In the water, Merlin’s legs started kicking, stirring up the current.

“Not quite so violently. You’re still fighting it. It’s more of a circular motion, just move your legs in circles to keep you up,” Arthur said. “I can’t explain it, because it feels so natural to me, but I guess there are technically a lot of ways to do it.”

“Like this?”

Merlin kicked his legs back and forth, less like he was riding a bicycle, but still too quickly.

“That’s...better.”

“So not like this then.”

“Just, uh, don’t stick your arse out so much. Keep your back straighter, try to relax, and go slow. I’ll show you again if you need me to.”

☼ ☼ ☼

“Can we take a break?” Merlin asked.

Arthur didn’t want to take a break. Merlin was doing _so well_ now. Only his left hand was holding onto Arthur’s outstretched arm and he was practically treading by himself, his lean, pale legs kicking gracefully in the water. Arthur was sure it was only fear that kept Merlin from letting go entirely and doing it alone.

“If you really want to.”

“I’m not giving up. I wouldn’t ask if it didn’t feel like my legs were on fire. Mummy says I’m very persistent when I put my mind to it,” he finished in a high voice.

“I never said you were giving up,” Arthur replied, laughing. “And I’ve witnessed your annoying persistence first hand.”

Merlin let go of him and for a moment Arthur’s heart thudded in his chest with panic. But then Merlin did two powerful kicks of his legs, propelling him toward the ledge. As Merlin hoisted himself up and over, Arthur could only gape. Did Merlin even realise he’d just kind of swam?

It didn’t seem like Merlin did. He walked back to his towel, dripping wet and trailing water, without so much as a word.

Arthur pushed himself up and followed. He could sort of use a break too, because they’d been in the water for what felt like hours—though certainly not more than two—and his fingertips were all pruney.

There was just one thing he had to do first.

He couldn’t immediately see the way up the cliff, but after walking around, he saw that there was a curved slope, much like a ramp, that wasn’t visible from the other side. It was just as slate grey as the rest of the rock, with the occasional patch of green moss that feel weird under Arthur’s toes. Arthur approached the edge, looking down with a critical eye and trying to judge how much the slap of water would hurt when he hit the surface.

Reaching out for the rope was a bit of a stretch since it hung about half a metre away from the edge, but Arthur’s arm was just long enough to pull it in and bring it close. He glanced down at Merlin while he stepped back, preparing to run forward with it. Merlin was standing below, arms crossed and hip cocked to the side, looking determinedly unimpressed.

_They’d make fun of him for standing like that_ , Arthur thought as he stared back. _What if I stood like that? They’d probably see a straight bloke standing funny and it wouldn’t even be worth commenting on._

“You gonna do it or not?” Merlin called up to him. “We have other plans, you know.”

“I know!”

Arthur shook the thoughts away and focused on the task at hand. He could stare at Merlin’s lithe body and blue eyes later, like when he fucked him. Right now he was about to swing off this cliff.

Arthur took another step back just to be sure. He gave a few tugs on the rope, and the leaves of the tree above _swish_ ed from the pull, but the branch was secure.

“You’ll be fine! If all else fails just use your fairy wings!” Merlin shouted.

Arthur guffawed. “Shut up, Merlin!”

He didn’t delay any longer. He charged forward with the rope and launched himself off the cliff, placing his feet at the knot on the bottom as he swung back and forth, gaining momentum.

Just this bit alone was rather fun, and it was nice up here, all the different shades of green and blue and grey whizzing past. Even Merlin was a pale blur down on the rock.

Arthur swung maybe eight times before he finally decided to do it. He waited until the rope was at its furthest arc, far above the azure depths below, then let go all at once.

“Fly, fairy, fly!”

It was stupid, but Arthur grinned anyway. And as he spread his arms, he did feel a bit like he was flying. The world went whirring by, and the drop seemed to take half the time that it really did. Just before Arthur hit the water, he squeezed his eyes shut.

The slap of water didn’t hurt as bad as he’d thought. The sting faded after a few seconds of being fully submerged, and then it was just Arthur and water and the roar of the residual splash in his ears. He stayed still a couple moments, simply drifting along with the slow current, then kicked his legs and pulled his way back to the surface.

Merlin was sitting on his towel, leaning back on his hands, when Arthur emerged. Arthur swam against the current and waded up to the shore, small, smooth pebbles under his feet until he stepped onto the flatter surface where Merlin sat.

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile like that before,” Merlin remarked off-handedly, staring at his wiggling his toes.

“Aw, you gonna write me poetry now, _Mer_ lin?” Arthur quipped. He shook his wet hair out over him, at which Merlin raised his arm and scowled.

“Sod off. I was just making an observation.”

Arthur didn’t bother with his own towel, just pushed it aside with his foot and plopped down on the bare rock, leaning back on his hands as Merlin did. “It’s okay, Merlin, I know I have a winning smile. How could anyone resist?” Arthur gave him his widest grin, tilting his head playfully.

Merlin did seem a bit dazed staring at Arthur’s face for a few seconds, until Arthur laughed and Merlin shoved his shoulder.

“Fuck you.”

“It’s your turn to be fucked actually, but if you’re passing, I’m not complaining.”

Merlin snorted. “Bet you wouldn’t, peachy bum.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Merlin suddenly shifted his weight left, half rolling over and swinging a leg up until he was straddling Arthur. Arthur’s breath hitched in his throat and his cock became very interested in the new position as Merlin looked down at him with a wicked smile.

“That means you’re the most cock-starved bottom I know.”

If it were any other time, any other place, Arthur would’ve furiously denied it. But out here, where it was just him and Merlin, and he felt incredibly relaxed, he found he didn’t care enough to dispute it. Merlin was sort of right, after all.

“Yeah? You know a lot of gay blokes back in Leytonstone, then?” Arthur asked. “I figured you were one of those guys that only had girl friends.”

“Most of my friends are girls, yeah, but not all of them. And I do know a few other gay blokes back home, but only a few.”

Merlin started rocking back and forth, grinding against Arthur and running his hands up Arthur’s chest. Arthur had to bite his lip to keep from moaning, not just from how good it felt, but also from how fucking sexy Merlin looked while he did it.

“I hooked up with them lots of times,” Merlin continued. “You can probably imagine...boring suburb, only a handful of randy teenage poofs.” He leaned forward and licked the shell of Arthur’s ear, making Arthur inhale sharply. “I had a threesome once. One bloke fucked me while I sucked the other’s cock. You would’ve loved it.”

Arthur looked up at him in disbelief, and the image that Merlin’s words brought to mind made the difference between hard and hard as a rock. “Really?”

Merlin chuckled in his ear. “Nah, not really. I wish, though.”

Arthur wished, too. But then, if it was going to be with Merlin involved, he wasn’t sure how he felt about sharing.

_Idiot,_ Arthur chided himself. _Merlin’s not yours to share._

“Maybe when you go off to uni you’ll find people who are a bit more adventurous,” Arthur said.

“Maybe. Though I doubt I’ll have time for many sexual adventures during the first year.”

Arthur didn’t want to think about Merlin in any place that wasn’t here anymore. He leaned further back, propping himself up only with his elbows on the hard stone, and rolled his hips up in time with Merlin, the intensified friction between their cocks sparking a blaze in Arthur’s groin.

“Nnng, fuck, I...Wow, never thought I’d see your hips move that way. You could be a belly dancer,” Merlin said breathlessly.

Arthur chuckled and slowed the wave of his body, letting his cock drag against the hard length of Merlin’s through their wet shorts. Merlin was one to talk. The things he’d done with his hips when he’d ridden Arthur the first time had been utterly _sinful_.

“I’d rather not, thanks. My dad would kill me.”

Merlin laughed, and the next thing Arthur knew, the smiling mouth was closer, the lips pressing against his own. Arthur tilted his chin up, parting his lips to let Merlin inside, and it wasn’t long before Merlin’s tongue dove in to collide with Arthur’s.

Arthur couldn’t pinpoint what was different about this kiss exactly. Maybe it was just that they were more in sync. All the other times had felt equally passionate, but more messy, more fumbling. This was some combination of desperation and playfulness. Like they knew each other now, and there was no frenzy to be skin to skin. It was almost...leisurely.

But then Merlin shifted again and they _were_ skin to skin, their wet chests sliding together as their lower halves kept grinding into each other. At some point, the snogging stopped and became only gentle, sucking kisses in between gasps of breath. It was slow and unhurried, and so far Arthur liked this much better than all the other times, because even though his arousal was burning hot and fierce and he wanted to chase it to the end, he didn’t feel like he had to anytime soon.

Arthur rolled them over onto Merlin’s towel, and Merlin didn’t seem to mind the change in position. His arms wrapped around Arthur’s neck, and his fingers curled in Arthur’s hair as Arthur struck up the same motion of his hips from before, only from the top.

“Take your shorts off,” Merlin panted.

Arthur leaned more firmly on his knees and moved his hands from Merlin’s waist to push his shorts down. He tugged on Merlin’s waistband while he was there, and after both of them kicked the drenched garments off, it was just more wet skin. Arthur wrapped a hand around their cocks and gave slow, teasing strokes, the same way Merlin had done the first time they ever lay together.

“Where’d you put the lube?” Arthur asked between kisses.

“Probably don’t need it. I’m soaked.”

“You said it’d started hurting last time. And I’d feel better if we used it. _You’d_ feel better if we used it.”

Merlin sighed when Arthur pulled away. “ _Now_ he’s considerate,” Merlin muttered.

Arthur chuckled and reached for the pile of his own things. “You lube while I condom?”

“Yeah.”

Arthur dried his cock a bit with his towel while Merlin struggled to open the packet with slippery fingers. He still hadn’t got it open after Arthur finished putting the condom on.

“Here, gimme,” Arthur said, taking it. He wiped it once on the towel before ripping it open on the first try.

“Prat.”

“I didn’t even do anything wrong!” Arthur said, laughing. “I helped you.”

Merlin shrugged as he leaned back, laying himself flat on the stone again. “Still a prat.”

Arthur shook his head and shuffled forward between Merlin’s spread legs. Merlin’s hands suddenly tucked underneath his thighs, grabbing his arse and parting the cheeks wide. Arthur froze in the middle of squeezing out the lube.

“What, why’d you stop?” Merlin asked.

Arthur didn’t answer, since he could hardly say ‘Because I want to do unspeakable things to your arse.’ Instead, he acted on impulse and darted forward, giving Merlin’s wet, puckered hole one slow lick. Merlin squeaked and his whole body convulsed.

_There, now we can continue,_ Arthur thought, grinning in satisfaction. He felt much better with that itch scratched, and proceeded to pour half the lube onto Merlin and half into his hand.

“How do you want it this time?” Arthur asked as he lined up, remembering Merlin having asked a similar question the previous night.

“Not in the mood for calling the shots today, otherwise I’d be riding you like before,” Merlin said. “Just give it to me however you want. I’m good with anything, unlike some people who are all ‘hard, fast, with no in between.’”

Arthur wasn’t going to take the time to correct him, but it wasn’t true that he didn’t like variation. Maybe he was just cock-starved as Merlin had said, and liked it a bit forceful whenever he managed to get the real thing. But he liked changing things up when it was just him and his dildo at home. If he ever found a steady partner, someone he felt comfortable bottoming with like Merlin, he certainly wouldn’t ask for hard and fast with no in between all the time.

Arthur took a deep breath and started pushing in, letting Merlin engulf him. He glanced up at Merlin’s face, but there was only a slight wince and then not much else to indicate pain; he was just staring up at the sky, breathing deeply and evenly as he held his arse open.

The rock was starting to hurt Arthur’s knees, but the way Arthur saw it there was no way it wasn’t going to hurt his knees, so he leaned forward after he was fully buried, placing his hands on either side of Merlin’s head, and began rolling his hips again, the tightness of Merlin around his cock making the pressure build. Merlin gasped, and his hands left their position below to grab hold of Arthur’s biceps, gripping tightly as Arthur worked up a rhythm to ease Merlin into it.

He knew most of the pain must have become pleasure when Merlin’s legs wrapped around him. He picked up speed, less rolling and more thrusting, less panting and more grunting. He snapped his hips harder, trying to give to Merlin what Merlin gave to him while also chasing the feeling of orgasm he could feel just out of reach. Merlin’s breath came sharp and quick, his body rocked by the force of Arthur’s thrusts, and every so often there was the perfect, nearly inaudible little “ _oh_.”

The sting of Merlin’s nails digging in seemed to be amplified because they were both still so wet, and the slap of their flesh seemed to echo here as well, out of place in the calm of nature. Arthur changed his tactics, pushing Merlin’s legs further up and back, and went from quick snapping to smooth plunging. In the back of his mind, Arthur was impressed by Merlin’s flexibility, but mostly he was too focused on Merlin’s noises, the “hnnng,” and the “ohhh,” and how Merlin’s face looked all pinched up with pleasure.

Arthur was so intent on watching the expression that he didn’t immediately realise that Merlin was looking back at him. When he did, he felt caught, and dropped his gaze to Merlin’s mouth so he didn’t have to look Merlin in the eyes.

Merlin’s lips seemed more pink and full than usual, especially given the way they were parted. Arthur stared at Merlin’s mouth, only his mouth, even as he felt Merlin’s hands drift up into his hair, through his damp fringe and to the back of his head, where they were then in the perfect position to pull Arthur down for another—much more uncoordinated—kiss.

He closed his eyes then, and focused only on the battle he seemed to be having with Merlin’s tongue, along with the steady pumping of his cock into Merlin that had his balls drawing up tight. He hoped Merlin was close, because he certainly was, and though he hadn’t lasted as long as Merlin had when fucking him the night before, he’d lasted longer than when he’d topped the last time. Based on the sound of Merlin’s moans and occasional whimpers, Arthur would guess they were both nearly there.

He pulled away when he felt the tension get to be just about too much. He pressed his forehead to Merlin’s shoulder and moaned at the rising heat.

“Merlin...”

“Y-Yeah, come on.”

Arthur couldn’t have lasted another second if his life depended on it, so Merlin’s permission was meaningless. He went still, his body locking up as he pulsed deep inside, and he was dimly aware of Merlin’s knuckles brushing against his stomach.

Arthur let out a heavy exhale as he finished, and was about to reach down to help Merlin along when Merlin suddenly clenched up and came. Arthur saw the muscles of Merlin’s abdomen ripple and then go taut, Merlin’s legs curling tighter over Arthur’s shoulders and pulling him closer. It was like Merlin was trapping Arthur there, forcing him to be part of his orgasm, and Arthur couldn’t look away.

Merlin only let his legs drop and go limp when he finished coming over his stomach, and Arthur extracted himself slowly, wincing at the squelching sound that further disturbed nature as he rolled onto his back.

“Told you you’d last longer,” Merlin remarked breathlessly.

“I’m pretty sure that was about the same as before, Merlin. But what do you propose I do with it this time?” Arthur asked, pulling off the condom. He looked over at Merlin, who was blinking up at the sky.

“Dunno,” Merlin replied in a wistful voice. After a few seconds, he sat up, the back of his hair in disarray. “Let’s plant an Arthur tree,” he said, his face brightening with a grin.

“Ahaha, what the fuck?”

“Yeah, an Arthur tree. Get it? Because it’s your _seed_.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

Merlin shrugged. “It’s either that, throw it in the river, or bunch it up in the towel and carry it back to the house. But I like the idea of an Arthur tree better.”

Arthur shook his head and laughed. It was stupid and definitely some form of depraved littering, but Arthur liked the idea, too. It was cool to think that part of him would still be in Avalon soil long after he’d gone, even if it was a little weird.

Arthur shrugged as well. “Sure, why not.”

“Great. Put your shorts on and start digging a hole. I’m going to wash off.”

Arthur found his wet swimming shorts nearby and shoved his legs in. As Merlin did the same and ran off to wade waist-deep into the river, Arthur took the condom and went back into the forest. He only went a few metres in because he hadn’t put his shoes on, then knelt by a growth of yellow wildflowers before pushing his fingers in the dirt.

He had a hole about the size of his fist when he heard Merlin walking up beside him. “It doesn’t have to be deep,” Merlin said. “Just enough that it won’t resurface when it rains.”

“There,” Arthur said, dropping the condom in a few minutes later. “Now I’m part of the land forever. May many little Arthurs spring forth and roam free.”

Merlin giggled as they recovered it. “I like you a lot better this way.”

Arthur looked at Merlin, tilting his head. “What way?”

“I don’t know. Happy. Carefree. You’re less of an arse now. If I knew you could be fun, I’d’ve brought you here ages ago,” he finished, nudging Arthur with his elbow.

Arthur rolled his eyes as he pat the dirt flat on the ground. “Please Merlin, I am _loads_ of fun.”

Merlin suddenly broke into guffaws, the laughter hitting him so hard that his eyes didn’t just squint up, they closed entirely. He even doubled over, holding his stomach.

“What the hell is so funny?” Arthur demanded.

“You—You—”

“I what?”

“You—You sounded so—so _gay_!” Just when Merlin managed to get control of his breathing, a new wave of giggles attacked.

Arthur tried to will away the blush he felt creeping over his face. “That’s because I _am_ gay, you idiot,” he shot back, shoving Merlin over. “And that doesn’t even make any sense.”

“I do it all the time,” Merlin said as he wiped tears from his eyes. “I just didn’t think _you_ ever would. And I don’t think you even did it intentionally. Oh my God, that was brilliant.”

“Have I said you’re ridiculous? Because you’re ridiculous.”

Merlin sat up on his heels and took one last deep breath, the final chuckles fading away. “Okay. But seriously. Did you even notice what you just said?”

“That you’re ridiculous. Yes, we’ve covered that quite extensively, Merlin.” Arthur got to his feet, his legs tingling from having knelt so long.

Merlin stood as well and began walking with Arthur back to their things. “No, not that. What you said before.”

Arthur thought back, and the second he realised what Merlin was referring to, he immediately said, “You do unintentionally gay things too, you know. With your head and your hips? So you’re hardly in a position to say anything.”

“Hey, I wasn’t making fun of you for it. I was just laughing because I didn’t expect it. I obviously don’t stereotype but come on, you are the last person I would have thought would suddenly break out in that voice.”

“I didn’t break out in any voice!” Arthur insisted, throwing his arms up.

Merlin put a hand on his hip, waving the other through the air. “‘Please Merlin, I am _loads_ of fun,’” he quoted in a much more nasal tone.

“I did _not_ say it like that. You’re exaggerating.”

“I did _not_ say it like that. You’re exaggerating.”

“Shut up!”

“Shut up!”

Arthur sighed and rolled his eyes. But okay, maybe it was a little funny.

Merlin chuckled, lowering his voice back to his normal state, the deep, honey tones Arthur was used to. “Good on you for saying it, though. My little poofter is growing up.”

Arthur snorted.

“I wonder if it’s a mind thing,” Merlin continued as they neared the ledge they were swimming by before. “Like if it’s easier to say spontaneously without thinking too much.”

“Still don’t need a life coach, Merlin,” Arthur reminded him.

_But speaking of things being all in the mind_...

Arthur waited until Merlin was walking in front of him, just a step away from the ledge and the deep river on their right.

Then he pushed Merlin in.

It wasn’t even one of those slow falls, where someone’s foot balances on the edge and they windmill their arms around for a few seconds. It was actually rather quick, with just a sharp “Ah!” from Merlin before the loud splash of him hitting the water.

For a few terrible seconds, it seemed like Arthur had made the wrong choice, because Merlin was sideways under the water, his arms flailing as he tried to right himself. He only sank lower before finally rising higher, his arms pulling himself back to the surface.

“You—fucking— _prat_!” Merlin spat, splashing water everywhere. “What the fuck did you do that for?”

Arthur smiled and shrugged. “I wouldn’t’ve done it if I didn’t think you were ready.”

Under the fury, Merlin looked completely baffled. “Ready for—Oh.”

Arthur crossed his arms and looked down at Merlin smugly. “Yes, oh.”

“Shit. Shit!” Merlin whipped his head left and right, up and down, from his kicking legs to his waving arms. “Shit, Arthur, I’m swimming!”

“You’re treading water.”

“Same thing!”

Merlin gave a powerful kick of his legs, bringing him back to the ledge, and started getting out of the water.

“What are you doing?” Arthur asked.

Merlin laughed. “What the hell do you think? I’m gonna jump from that bloody rope!”

☼ ☼ ☼

They were just exiting the tree line of the forest when Arthur felt Merlin brush against his arm, getting his attention.

“Hey, Arthur.”

“Yeah?”

“Stop a second.”

Arthur halted in his tracks and turned to Merlin with confusion. “What?”

Merlin licked his lips and looked suddenly uncertain. He raised his hand, hesitating before reaching out and grabbing Arthur’s elbow. “It’s just...Before we get back and you turn into an arse again...”

Merlin kissed him. It wasn’t for very long, maybe three seconds, just long enough for Arthur to be taken off-guard, register what was happening, and be further confused. Like before with the touch to his hip in the loo, Arthur didn’t understand why Merlin was doing it. The sex part was over.

That wasn’t to say that Arthur didn’t like it.

Merlin was blushing when he pulled away. “Thanks. For today. It was...I needed it.” He turned and started walking again, as though they’d never stopped at all.

Arthur didn’t really think about it; he just acted, because he liked kissing Merlin, and he wanted to kiss Merlin some more. He caught up with Merlin and grabbed his arm, spinning him around and surging forward to connect their lips again.

Arthur had thought maybe that Merlin would protest, but Merlin responded eagerly. One hand slid around the back of Arthur’s neck while the other curled around his hip, pulling Arthur close, and though he did part his lips a bit, it was almost mutually understood that this wasn’t about tongue or desperate devouring. It was something else. Arthur didn’t know what it was, but it made his body warm and his heart soar, so he kept doing it.

“You’re welcome,” he said when they separated.

Merlin’s eyes looked bewildered, his expression seeming to say he’d just come back from an unexpected journey and was pleasantly surprised. Arthur wondered if he looked that way as well, because that’s how he felt. He was breathless and sated, and loved the feeling of Merlin’s arm around him, of Merlin pressed against him. To have to go back to the house and hide himself away again seemed suddenly like a prison sentence.

Then Merlin’s face morphed entirely, as though he’d received some horrible news. “You shouldn’t’ve done that,” he said, stepping back. “Why did you do that?”

Arthur took a step forward. “I wanted to.” Why did Merlin look upset now? “I just...wanted to.”

“You wanted an arrangement.”

The words made Arthur cringe, but they also reminded him of the truth, of what he’d told himself that first night. This would be nothing more than physical indulgement, because to get attached meant to get hurt.

“You kissed me first,” Arthur said when nothing else came to mind.

“Yeah, but not like that!” Now Merlin was yelling. Why was he yelling?

Arthur frowned. He wanted to say that he didn’t see the difference, but he did. Merlin’s three second press of lips had been much different than the drawn out, slow dance that Arthur had initiated. It wasn’t a kiss between two people who’d entered into a week-long arrangement for casual sex. It was a kiss between two people in a relationship. A kiss between lovers.

_Fucked, Pendragon, totally fucked. Definitely, without a doubt, fucked._

Merlin sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Look, just...just forget about it. It never happened. It’s probably all my fault anyway because I started it. That was my mistake.”

Merlin started walking again, and since Arthur didn’t know what to say, he remained silent and followed. And because following felt weird, he quickened his pace to walk beside him, trying to put the incident out of his head as Merlin was no doubt doing and return to how things had been before.

By the time they reached the house, things still felt awkward. After a whole afternoon of closeness and easiness, of hearty laughter and jokes and carefree joy, one kiss had turned everything upside down.

And Arthur wanted to kiss Merlin again. He was kind of beginning to panic about that.

“Wonder if they came by already and left when they couldn’t get in,” Merlin said, checking the time on his mobile. “It’s nearly half five.”

“You all have two keys though, right? For you and Elena? They’d just wait upstairs if they’d been here already. They probably finished swimming then went walking around or something.”

Arthur walked up the steps to the lower flat while Merlin lingered at the bottom of the stairs. “Yeah,” Merlin said. “I hope they didn’t eat yet. I’m starving.”

“Leon said we’d all go out to eat again afterwards, but I’m sure they had lunch or a snack or something, unlike us.”

“I’ll text Sefa and ask what time she thinks they’ll be back.”

“‘Kay.”

Arthur turned to unlock the door, but when he looked over his shoulder, Merlin had only taken a few steps up the stairs before stopping and lingering again. He wasn’t exactly frowning, but his expression was thoughtful.

“What?” Arthur asked.

Merlin’s face smoothed out, a corner of his mouth tilting up a little in a wry smile. “Nothing. Was just remembering when you called me a skinny little pansy with stupid-looking ears, and said I disgusted you. Right there,” he said, pointing to the porch.

Arthur felt his stomach sink at the memory. He’d entirely forgotten, but the stab of guilt he felt then he felt now. It seemed to hurt worse this time because now he had the knowledge that it had been important enough for Merlin to remember.

But Merlin chuckled and shook his head. “And now so much has changed. It’s kind of funny.”

“I guess so...”

Merlin chuckled again. “Can’t believe you tried to convince me you weren’t gay. Like I couldn’t tell right away.”

“I had you completely fooled the first day,” Arthur reminded him.

“Not even! All I had to do was lick my lips and you were done for.”

Honestly, Merlin hadn’t even had to do that. Arthur had been done for the minute he’d opened the door. Not that Arthur was going to tell him that.

“So you _did_ do that on purpose,” Arthur said instead.

Merlin grinned. “Of course I did! And you should have seen how quick your eyes caught it. Rather sad, really.”

“But you said you didn't know for sure until the afternoon Percival apologised,” Arthur pointed out. “So clearly you still had your doubts. Ergo, I had you fooled.”

Merlin threw his head back and laughed. “You said ergo again!”

Arthur groaned. “You’re like a virus, I swear. You’ve contaminated me.”

“That just means it’s all going according to plan,” Merlin said, rubbing his hands together. “Mwahahaha.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “You’re an idiot, Merlin. I’ll see you later.” As Arthur turned back to the door to unlock it, he heard Merlin jogging up the stairs.

As soon as he walked in, the door to Lance’s bedroom just off the kitchen slammed shut and locked with a click. Arthur froze where he was, wondering what the hell had happened and who was in the flat. More importantly, _how_ they got in the flat.

Then he heard hushed, hurried speaking: “Who was it?” That definitely sounded like Gwen’s voice.

“Don’t know. I didn’t check, for obvious reasons,” Lance’s voice answered. Gwen giggled and Arthur heard the mattress creak.

_Oh my God._

“But it’s probably just Arthur getting back,” Lance continued. “He’s the only one with a key. Right, so where were we?”

“Just about here, I think.”

“Mmm. Right.”

_Oh fucking hell, I’m not listening to this._

Arthur closed the door behind him and all but ran to his bedroom. He could already hear the gasps of exertion above Gwen’s moaning, and though he was thrilled for Lance—Go Lance!—he’d rather listen to some music right about now. He plugged his earbuds into his mobile and started up a song as he changed into clothes.

After changing, using the loo, and hanging his swimming shorts to dry, Arthur dared to venture to the kitchen—and subsequently near _them_ —to get a drink. He didn’t, however, dare to take his earbuds out, which is why he nearly dropped the beer he was grabbing from the fridge when Lance suddenly opened the door, wearing nothing but crimson pants.

“Jesus!” Arthur exclaimed, jumping back. He plucked an earbud out when Lance started speaking.

“Sorry. Just making sure I didn’t scare you before,” he said, raising a hand. “I was, er, busy.”

“Yeah, no, it’s fine,” Arthur replied, shaking his head and chuckling. “Mate, don’t ever apologise for having sex. I’m glad for you. I was just wondering how the hell you got in.”

Lance jerked his thumb toward Arthur’s room. “You left the window open. You probably ought to close it next time.”

“Ah, okay. Well, at least it worked out in your favour. From what little I heard, it sounded alright,” Arthur said, raising a suggestive eyebrow. “I’m assuming it was good since you’re half in love with her.”

Lance glanced over his shoulder before stepping further into the kitchen, leaning in closer to Arthur to whisper. “I don’t know if it’s because it’s been a while for me or what, but that might’ve been the best sex of my life. She’s _amazing_.”

Lance smiled at him and Arthur smiled back, laughing. “That’s great, Lance.”

Lance’s eyes got a far off look and he sighed. “Yeah.”

That’s when Arthur caught a reddened patch of skin just under Lance’s collarbone. He stepped forward and bent over, peering at it.

“Oh my God, did she bite you?” Arthur asked when he noticed faint teeth marks.

Lance’s hand darted to the bruise, rubbing over it as he blushed. “Oh. Yeah.”

“Wow.” Arthur hadn’t spoken to Gwen enough to know much about her or what she was like, but he hadn’t expected biting.

“She, um. Can get a bit wild, I guess,” Lance said. “Which is kind of an awesome bonus.”

Arthur chuckled. “I’ll say.” _Who would’ve thought sweet Gwen was a kinky sex kitten?_

Gwen appeared in the doorway then, wearing one of Lance’s shirts over what seemed to be nothing, but was probably hiding the bottom piece of her bikini. Arthur could just barely make out a blush on her cheeks, and her hair was in a frizzy disarray.

“Hi, Arthur,” she said.

“Hi.”

“How was your day?”

“My day?” Arthur didn’t understand but first, but then remembered Leon saying that all the girls knew Merlin would be learning to swim. “Oh, my day! Yeah, it was...successful.”

Gwen grinned. “Really?”

Arthur nodded. “Yes.”

“Oh, that’s great!”

Lance looked between them, puzzled. “I think I’m missing something.”

“Can I tell him?” Gwen asked Arthur. “I don’t think Merlin would mind Lance knowing.”

“Merlin?” Lance echoed.

Arthur shrugged. Lance was just as trustworthy as Leon, and Arthur agreed that Merlin wouldn’t mind. “Sure.”

Gwen turned to Lance. “Arthur went to the river to help Merlin learn how to swim today.”

Lance’s eyebrows shot up. “You taught Merlin how to swim?”

“Well, to tread water, but it’s the same thing really. He was pretty much swimming by himself, and he jumped from the rope a few times.”

“He did? He must have been so happy,” Gwen said, beaming.

Arthur’s mind called up the image of Merlin’s grinning face, Merlin laughing as he raced Arthur up the cliff time after time, and his shouts of joy as he swung into the water. He’d been his usual vibrant self, the same ethereal, sprite-like creature as when he’d blown bubbles, except multiplied by a thousand due to the sun making his wet skin glisten. The entire afternoon had been perfect, save of course for the whole kissing argument afterwards.

“He was,” Arthur said, ignoring the pull in his chest.

“Thank you for teaching him.”

Arthur shrugged again. “It seemed a shame that he didn’t know. And since everyone else apparently paired off, I figured I ought to avoid the awkwardness and leave myself out.”

Arthur reached for the bottle opener on the worktop to finally open his beer. He hadn’t meant to come off as complaining, but he had a feeling that’s what his tone conveyed if their looks of pity were anything to go by.

“I hardly think they’ve ‘paired off.’” Gwen said. “Elena told me she’s obviously only with Gwaine for the rest of the week, and if I know Freya she’s just having a bit of fun with Percival as well. Sefa, well...We’ll see, I suppose.”

“Leon really likes her, I think,” Arthur said, taking a long sip. “What about you two?”

They looked at each other, and Arthur could practically see the silent conversation taking place: _Do you want to stay with me? Yes._

He sighed and gulped down even more.

“We’re still discussing it,” Lance finally said, turning back to Arthur. “But we both agree we want to make it work.”

“We’re both almost eighteen. We could get married in a few months,” Gwen said.

Arthur choked on his beer. He’d expected some sort of surprised reaction from Lancelot as well, but Lance was smiling down at her with a delighted expression on his face.

“You can’t be serious,” Arthur said. “You just met!”

“We won’t have just met by the time we do it,” Lance pointed out. “It’s not like it’s happening today. But if she still wants to after a few months of visiting, then I don’t see why we shouldn’t.”

Arthur gaped. “Because...Because there should be like a testing period or something. Longer than a few months! If you really do care for each other, there’s no reason to jump right into it, is there?”

Gwen looked down and took hold of Lance’s hand, playing with the fingers. “He could meet someone else at uni, while I’m working for my father.”

“And even though I wouldn’t do that to her, I think we’d both feel better if people saw a ring on my finger,” Lance added.

Arthur stared between the two of them incredulously. “Lance, you’re my friend and I think it’s great that you found someone, but you sound a bit mad right now.”

Lance shrugged, as though he didn’t care what he sounded like. “I love her.”

Gwen beamed up at him, dropping his hand in favour of hugging his arm. Arthur felt the pull in his chest again watching them together. It was madness.

So why was he sort of jealous of what they had?

“How do you know?” he asked.

“Because I would die for her.”

At that, Gwen threw her arms around him. Arthur sighed as he walked back to the bedroom, leaving them alone. They were off their heads, the both of them. Arthur had expected Lance would want to make a long distance relationship work, but marriage? That was just ludicrous.

As Arthur sat on his bed, putting his other earbud back in and drinking his beer, he thought it was at least good that he wouldn’t die for Merlin.

And the stupid voice in the back of his head that didn’t know anything said, _Not yet anyway._

☼ ☼ ☼

There were no bubbles this time, but Arthur’s mood was sour walking to the pizza place they’d decided on all the same. It was Lance and Gwen in the lead, Gwaine, Elena, and Percival behind them, Merlin, Sefa, and Leon next, and somehow, someway, Freya beside Arthur again. Which was certainly something to be said about Percival and Freya’s own ‘arrangement.’

“Here we are again,” Freya said on Arthur’s right.

Arthur glanced over at her. “Yeah.”

“Thanks for teaching Merlin how to swim.”

Arthur chuckled. “Are all of you going to thank me?”

“Maybe.” She paused, and Arthur imagined he could hear her contemplating. “Thanks for fucking him, too. God knows he needed it.”

Arthur’s heart stopped, as did his feet. He suddenly felt like he couldn’t move.

Freya sighed and walked back to him, grabbing his arm and pulling him forward.

“No need to have a panic attack, love. It was obvious,” she told him.

“It...What? How?” Arthur couldn’t breathe. Did all the girls know, as he’d suspected earlier that morning? Had Merlin been unable to keep from telling them after all?

“Firstly, Merlin hasn’t complained even once. Usually he’d go on and on about it not being fair how we’re all fucking like bunnies while he gets nothing,” Freya explained. “Secondly, you turned down Sefa. Which speaks volumes by itself.”

“She wouldn’t be my type even if I did like...girls,” Arthur said, flustered.

“Right, because you like them sarcastic and tattooed.”

“I—I do not _like_ —”

“Sure you don’t. And I didn’t put a cock ring on Percival while he was tied to my bed.” She looked at Arthur, staring him in the eye. “I did, if that wasn’t clear.”

“Why the hell do you even _have_ —”

“For fun,” she said, shrugging. She let go of Arthur’s arm, satisfied he could walk by himself now.

“Do you all know?” he asked.

“That you’re gay or that you’re fucking Merlin?”

For fuck’s sake, she could be a bit more quiet about it. Leon, Sefa, and Merlin himself were only about a metre ahead.

“Both, I guess.”

“Only me and Sefa. The others don’t know Merlin as well as we do, so I don’t think they’ve noticed. Plus they’re rather occupied with their own distractions.”

Arthur breathed a little easier, but he was starting to sweat. It was so weird talking about this with someone who wasn’t Merlin. And if Sefa knew, did that mean Leon knew? Arthur felt his secret slipping from his grasp, and he needed to rein it back in somehow.

“Okay,” Arthur said, taking a deep breath. “Okay. What about what you said earlier? About Merlin needing it? Surely one summer without sex doesn’t make someone desperate.”

Freya raised an eyebrow. “One summer? Merlin’s had sex like, twice, _maybe_ three times if getting a blow job counts. And that was before the bloke he was doing it with went to uni almost a year ago.”

“But Merlin said...” _He lied? Why the fuck would he lie for no reason?_

“What’d he say?”

Arthur frowned and shook his head. “He said there was a handful of blokes. He made it seem like he was...promiscuous or something.”

“Er, no. The only gay blokes Merlin knows are the couple that live a few streets over from him and the one he hooked up with before. I’m sure there’s more than four in all of Leytonstone, but he doesn’t know them.”

Arthur stared at the back of Merlin’s head. “Why would he tell me otherwise?”

Freya sighed in exasperation, and when Arthur looked over, she was rolling her eyes. “Do you even know the effect you have on him? He probably wanted to impress you.”

Impress him? But that was stupid! The last thing Arthur needed Merlin to do was impress him. And from the way Merlin hurled insults and acted like he could barely stand Arthur, it didn’t seem like any desire to impress was there.

“Okay, well. He doesn’t talk like he’s had sex only twice,” Arthur said. He didn’t know how to react to the fact that Merlin wanted to impress him so he went back to the other thing. “He talks like he knows exactly what he’s doing.”

Freya looked a bit surprised at that. “Merlin talks dirty? That I did _not_ know. Or expect. But I suppose he has had a lot of time to imagine all the things he wants to say.”

Arthur could hardly believe it. Which Merlin did these girls even know? Which Merlin did _Arthur_ know? Was Leytonstone Merlin really so different from Avalon Merlin?

Arthur wanted to believe that he’d seen Merlin for who he truly was at the river, because Merlin had been so happy, and he’d laughed and teased and joked. But Arthur didn’t know if he was unconsciously choosing to remember things that way or if Merlin really had had such a good time that he’d felt he could be himself. Arthur had been himself. It hurt to think that Merlin hadn’t.

“You won’t tell anyone, right?” Arthur asked, putting the present matter out of his mind. “And does Merlin know you know?”

“No, we won’t tell anyone,” Freya assured him. “And no, Merlin doesn’t know. He likes to think he has secrets. It’s cute.”

Another thought suddenly struck Arthur. If Merlin lied about his past partners, had he lied about his friends, too? To impress Arthur, or at least to seem less sad?

“In Leytonstone,” Arthur began, “does Merlin have any other friends?”

Freya sighed. “We _are_ his friends.”

☼ ☼ ☼

At least this time the table was circular. Arthur wasn’t sure if Merlin tried to make it happen or not, but he ended up on Arthur’s left. Leon was on Arthur’s right, and Arthur was surprised to find himself thinking he’d rather it be Freya. At least that way he could talk with Merlin about things and not worry about what people overheard.

But then, Arthur wasn’t too sure he wanted to talk to Merlin about ‘things,’ because technically he shouldn’t care. Asking about the real Merlin meant caring, and caring meant turning into Lance and Gwen, which was dangerous.

“Were you talking about me earlier?” Merlin asked when the waitress left to get their drinks.

Arthur pretended to be intensely fascinated with the pattern of the table. “When?”

“On the way here. With Freya. I thought I heard my name a few times.”

Arthur looked across the table at Freya. Her chair was a bit squished between Percival and Gwaine since the table wasn’t meant for ten, but she seemed not to notice because of the headphones in her ears and how intently she was looking at her mobile. She must have felt Arthur’s gaze on her, because only seconds later, her shadowy, black-lined eyes looked up, piercing him with her stare. A corner of her mouth curved in a slight smile.

“She was thanking me for teaching you how to swim,” Arthur said, looking back down to the table. “They must all think I’m some kind of swimming god or something.”

Merlin laughed. “Maybe they’ll bring you animal sacrifices.”

_Don’t say it. Maybe I should say it. No, don’t say it._

“Is that it?” Merlin asked after Arthur said nothing. “You seem...weird.” Arthur looked up at him and Merlin glanced at Freya before leaning a little closer. “Arthur, does she know?”

Arthur swallowed and nodded. “Her and Sefa.”

Merlin blinked. “Wow. Guess that explains the mood then.”

Arthur sighed and leaned forward, folding his arms on the table. Merlin was too close, speaking too low and too intimately for people who weren’t supposed to be friends. Anyone could look over and start assuming things.

But apparently Merlin didn’t get the hint or didn’t want to. He moved forward to talk to Arthur again.

“Are you gonna be okay? You’re not gonna freak out and suggest we stop, are you?”

“I’m fine, Merlin,” Arthur snapped. He softened and lowered his voice when Merlin flinched back at harshness of his tone. “Look, there are only five people in the world I don’t want knowing, and that’s my friends and my father. I honestly don’t care if anyone else knows.”

Well, there was his brother-in-law, who made Percival seem like a saint, but Arthur didn’t see him often enough to be too worried about it.

“Right, because they’ll judge you. Or at least some of them will.”

“No—”

“So why are you all gloomy if you don’t care about them knowing?”

_Don’t say it. It doesn’t even matter. You’re just fucking him. Don’t fucking say it._

“Because you lied to me.”

Merlin blinked maybe once, then said, “How’d they find out about you?”

Arthur gaped. Had even a full second passed before Merlin had changed the subject? “Did you even hear what I just said?”

Merlin shrugged, whatever the hell that meant. “How’d they find out about you?” he repeated.

Okay, now Arthur was getting angry. It was one thing to lie, but it was another thing to not even admit to lying when called out on it.

Arthur looked around the table just to make sure. Everyone was in their own conversation, their own bubble.

“They noticed you weren’t complaining about all of them having hooked up. About you not getting any. Because apparently it’s not just this summer you haven’t had any luck. Because _you lied to me_.”

Merlin at least had the decency to look away when Arthur said that. “I may have exaggerated a few...a couple things,” he said, waving his hand absently.

“That’s called lying, Merlin.”

“Like you have any right to say anything,” Merlin shot back.

“You know I have my reasons.”

“So do I.”

“What, you wanted to impress me?”

Merlin looked like Arthur had personally offended him. “No.”

“So what, you’re a chronic liar?”

“No.”

“Was that a lie?”

“Yes.

“Merlin—”

“Or maybe it wasn’t. Guess you’ll never know.”

Arthur wanted to hit something. He curled his hands into fists and tried to force some calm into his voice. “Why can’t you just be honest with me?” he said through his teeth.

Arthur didn’t expect the vehemency of Merlin’s reaction. “Because you wanted a fucking arrangement,” he hissed. “And I’m not gonna get hurt again.”

Arthur frowned. Again? “What the hell are you talking about?”

Merlin leaned back and clamped his mouth shut. “Nothing. Just fucking forget it.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“ _Don’t_.”

Arthur huffed, but didn’t press it. It was unfair though. Yes, Arthur was lying, but not to Merlin. Merlin was lying about himself _to Arthur_. That made things completely different.

Arthur tried to think about what he knew for sure about Merlin: He was from Leytonstone. He’d left school just like Arthur. He was seventeen. His only friends were the people he was sharing the flat with. He’d been with one boy almost a year ago before said boy went off to uni.

_Shit, that’s it_ , Arthur thought. _That has to be it. Merlin had to have just turned sixteen. And he’d been with someone older, someone who only wanted..._

“The bloke in Leytonstone,” Arthur said, turning to Merlin. Merlin’s head snapped to him. “That’s what you meant, isn’t it? Who you were with before.”

Arthur saw Merlin’s throat tighten and his chest heave with a heavy breath. “Shut up.”

“And he left you to go to uni. He just wanted an arrangement too, didn’t he?”

Merlin jumped to his feet, his chair squeaking loudly against the floor. “I said shut up!” he shouted. He turned on his heels and stormed off through the restaurant, disappearing into the men’s toilets.

As expected, discussion at the table came to a halt and all eyes turned to Arthur. Arthur felt crushed under the weight of their stares, and Freya’s in particular seemed to be boring a hole in him. Maybe it was the eyeliner.

“Arthur,” Leon began slowly, “what’d you do?”

“Oh Christ, did you put your foot in your mouth again?” Gwaine said.

“I...I didn’t do anything,” Arthur insisted.

“Whatever you didn’t do, you need to go apologise for it,” Leon told him. “Now.”

_Oh God, does he know?_ Arthur wondered, trying to get a read on his best friend. _He knows, doesn’t he? Fuck, I can’t tell._

“Now!” Freya barked. Arthur scrambled to his feet and went after Merlin.

Luckily no one else was in there when Arthur went in. The one, closed cubicle door indicated Merlin as the solitary occupant. Unluckily, Arthur heard sniffles, and his heart seemed to twist up at the sound of it.

Because Arthur didn’t expect Merlin to open up for him, he got on his stomach and slid under the door.

“What the hell are you doing?” Merlin yelled as Arthur entered the private space. “Get out!”

Arthur ignored him, and brushed his shirt free of public loo dust when he was standing again. Merlin was standing with his back to the divider, arms wrapped around his middle and glaring at Arthur hatefully with tear-filled eyes.

“I’m sorry, okay?” Arthur said. “I’m a bad person, I was wrong, and it won’t happen again.”

Merlin snorted and wiped his eyes. “Got all your bases covered there?”

“I’d hoped so.”

“Leave me alone. I came in here to get away from you, you know.” Merlin turned away, hunching his shoulders and making himself small. A lump formed in Arthur’s throat, and if he’d felt bad for calling Merlin a skinny little pansy before, this was a hundred times worse.

“I’m sorry, Merlin,” Arthur repeated. “I don’t know what made me bring it up, sometimes I’m just stupid like that.”

He must have been _really_ stupid for bringing it up again, because Merlin sobs started anew, his shoulders shaking from the force of it. Arthur felt even more horrible than ever, and reached out to put a hand on Merlin’s shoulder instinctively.

Merlin reacted as though he’d been touched by acid. “Don’t touch me!”

Even though Merlin had said not to, that seemed to be all the more reason Arthur needed to. He reached for Merlin’s arm again, pulling Merlin to him.

“Stop it! Don’t fucking touch me!”

Merlin flung his arms out, shoving Arthur away, but Arthur was stronger, and it wasn’t hard to get his arms around Merlin’s lanky body. Merlin struggled for a few seconds, saying “Leave me alone!” and “Let me go!”

But then he gave up, his arms folded between their chests, and he let Arthur hold him as he cried into the curve of Arthur’s neck.

After a while, Merlin was reduced to sniffles again. “It’s so stupid,” he said. “I don’t even miss him anymore. Edwin. I don’t miss Edwin.”

Arthur stopped rubbing his hand on Merlin’s back—when had that happened?—and raised it to Merlin’s face, making Merlin look up at him. Merlin let his head be lifted, but refused to raise his eyes, his wet eyelashes staying resolutely close to skin.

“So why are you crying?” Arthur asked softly.

Merlin sniffled and wiped his nose. “Because I did miss him. I missed him a lot for what felt like forever. We did have an arrangement, and it was just meant to be sex, but I didn’t...I didn’t really know that. He never explicitly said until the end, so I always thought...” He dropped his head to Arthur’s shoulder, his fingers grabbing at Arthur’s shirt. “I was so fucking stupid. And even though you told me what this was, it’s...it’s happening again. It’s happening again and I can’t stop it.”

Maybe it was better that Merlin not look at him. Arthur wasn’t sure he could tell the truth with Merlin looking at him, so he appreciated the fact that Merlin had his face buried in his collar.

He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of Merlin’s hair, and somehow that gave him courage. “Merlin, I...I don’t want this to be just an arrangement either. But I need it to be, because otherwise it’ll hurt too much. You can understand that, can’t you?”

There, short and to the point. Nothing about how it never even felt like just an arrangement in the first place, or about how Arthur had to constantly stamp out thoughts of never seeing Merlin again after the end of the week. Nothing that revealed too many _feelings_ , but still got across the fact that he had some.

“It’s happening to you, too,” Merlin murmured. “You can’t stop it, either.”

Arthur sighed. “I’m trying. But...” He took another deep breath. He couldn’t believe he was actually going to say this. “I feel like I can be myself with you, Merlin. I told you I had an arrangement with a bloke back home as well, but with him it was easy to keep it that way. I never felt anything for him. But you just...I can let my guard down with you and you make me happy and that’s why it hurt that you lied to me. Because I felt like I could be myself but apparently you couldn’t.”

Merlin stepped back and looked up at Arthur earnestly. “You _can_ be yourself with me. I like that you don’t hide. I’m sorry I wasn’t honest, really. It’s just that you were such an arse at first and the words just slipped from my mouth and I maybe expected to be your friend but I didn’t expect to actually _like_ you.”

Merlin gasped a little at the end, and his eyes widened in shock, as though he hadn’t meant to say the last part but realised there was no taking it back now.

Arthur swallowed. He tried to stick with just the facts. “You like me. And I like you. I want to try keeping our arrangement. What do you want?”

Merlin frowned, dropping his gaze and biting his lip. “I don’t wanna think about it. It might be easier for me if we just didn’t put a name to it.” He raised his eyes back to Arthur, looking almost shy. “But right now I just want to kiss you.”

_Dangerous, very dangerous._

Arthur did it anyway.

There was that strangely warm coming-home feeling again, like a full body sigh when he was connected with Merlin. But this time it was different; it was deeper, because this time Arthur could sense that Merlin felt it, too.

“Probably for the best, anyway,” Merlin said, pulling away but not going far; he pressed his forehead to Arthur’s. “Since you’re still in the closet.”

Could Arthur joke now? Was the comforting and apologising part over? Arthur wasn’t sure, but figured he’d risk it anyway.

“Well, half in the closet,” he said. “I can be like so totally gay when I’m not around my friends.”

Merlin laughed. “Progress. Brilliant. So if that’s the case, then you’ll kiss me in front of Freya and Sefa.”

“Um.” Wow, Arthur didn’t know if he was ready for all of that yet. Freya, maybe, because Arthur felt oddly comfortable around her and her straightforwardness. Sefa, however, he hadn’t even talked to about it. “And if I don’t?”

Merlin shrugged. “Then you’ll be a blond little pansy with crooked teeth.”

Arthur instinctively raised a hand to his mouth, fingering over his teeth. “They’re not that bad,” he muttered.

Merlin chuckled. “You’re lucky it doesn’t detract from your smile too much.”

Arthur huffed and pushed Merlin back. “Idiot.”

Merlin just grinned at him, as though Arthur had called him a pet name or something. Then he turned serious, and said, “Just to be clear, we _are_ going on as before, yeah? Nothing’s changed?”

Arthur made himself nod, and then made himself speak. “Yeah. Nothing’s changed.”

Merlin sighed. “Just three more days.”

“And four more nights.”

“And then your peachy bum is—”

“Let’s not say it.”

Merlin nodded. “But can I...” He paused, hesitating, and Arthur waited for him to spit the words out. “Can I have a photo?”

“Of me or my arse?”

Merlin looked at a loss. “Oh God, I want a photo of everything.”

Arthur chuckled. “I know the feeling.”

“Hmm. A video, maybe?”

That was certainly something to think about. Arthur wouldn’t dare let his face show, but it’d be something to keep for after this was all over. It wasn’t wise in the slightest, especially if he was trying to _avoid_ the pain of remembrance, but the idea of actually seeing himself being fucked was too enticing. And the fact that it was Merlin who’d be doing the fucking was even more so.

“We’ll talk about it later,” Arthur said. “We should get back to the table. There are, actually, people waiting for us out there.”

“Oh right. How should I be?”

Arthur pursed his lips, looking over Merlin thoughtfully. His eyes were still a little red, but not much, not enough that someone from a distance would notice.

“Let’s go with reluctantly apologetic,” Arthur advised. “I said something that offended your ‘delicate homosexual feelings,’ you acted like a drama queen, and now you’ll cross your arms and do your gay pout thing.”

Merlin scoffed. “Excuse me?”

“Yes, exactly like that,” Arthur said, pointing to Merlin’s disbelieving face.

“I do not do a ‘gay pout thing!’”

“But you do cross your arms. So just give me the silent treatment a few minutes before talking to me again.”

“No problem there!”

Merlin brushed past him and unlocked the cubicle door, slamming it open.

Arthur rolled his eyes. _As I said. Drama queen,_ he thought. He followed Merlin past the sinks to the exit.

Merlin stopped when he had the hand on the handle. Arthur only had to wonder for two seconds what the holdup was—Merlin turned around and reached behind Arthur, grabbing his arse and giving a quick squeeze. Arthur did _not_ squeak.

_Oh fuck, what the fucking hell, he’s going to be the death of me._

Merlin smiled and winked at him. “Just because I can.”

Arthur reached forward and grabbed Merlin’s crotch. He thought maybe he’d misjudged the angle at first, but those were definitely balls he felt his fingers squeeze, and Merlin gave a satisfyingly sharp gasp.

“You always have to outdo someone, don’t you?” Merlin said.

Arthur shrugged. “You already killed my self-esteem by bringing up my teeth. Have to make up for it somehow.”

“Prat.”

The pizza had already arrived when they got back to the table. Freya raised an eyebrow at Arthur as she sipped her Coke, and Arthur gave her a subtle nod.

“That certainly took forever,” Gwaine remarked with a mouthful of food.

Arthur plopped down in his seat the same time Merlin did. “Yeah, well, he was taking forever to forgive me. Apparently I can come off as insensitive,” Arthur replied.

“You _are_ insensitive,” Leon said. Merlin snickered.

“Cheers, Leon. Great to know what you really think of me after all these years.”

“No problem.”

☼ ☼ ☼

Arthur didn’t really trust himself getting pissed in Merlin’s presence, but it wasn’t like he could make up an excuse and pretend to be ill again. When Lance pulled the spirits from the icebox and set them on the table to start pouring shots, Arthur cast a glance at Merlin just as Merlin was doing the same.

So at least they were on the same page: Proceed with caution.

But drunk Merlin was actually...really adorable. He had maybe one shot before he started swaying, and two shots before he started erupting into little bursts of random giggles. At three, he was poking Freya’s face and saying, “Freeeeeya, you’re so darrrrrrk. Why are you so dark? Smiiiiiile.”

Arthur couldn’t stop laughing. He even snorted a few times.

For the most part, nobody moved too much, so Arthur didn’t have to rearrange himself around Merlin’s placement. After Gwaine and Elena started to suddenly need _the entire sofa_ , Arthur stood up to lean against the wall, then when his feet began to hurt, he relocated to a chair by the fridge.

Gwen and Lance were sitting nearby, and Arthur was somehow pulled into a conversation about the best things of their childhood. Of course when Gwen brought up Harry Potter, they had to launch into an entirely new conversation that.

But Arthur’s eye was always drawn back to Merlin, just checking to see if he was still doing the same thing he’d been doing last. Usually that something involved laughing so hard it made his eyes sparkle and narrow to slits, taking Arthur’s breath away each and every time. And each and every time it was harder to look away.

Freya was suddenly at his side after one occurrence where Arthur had to have been watching for ten straight seconds. “Your staring is obvious,” she whispered in his ear on the way to get another drink. Arthur instantly blushed and returned his gaze to Lance, who was speaking about the underappreciation of Neville and how “everyone feels like a Neville at some point, really.”

“Oh my God, you’re _so_ right,” Gwen drawled.

“I dunno,” Arthur said, wondering if they were even paying attention to him anymore. “I liked Luna. Sometimes I feel a bit like Luna,” he finished with a shrug.

“Maybe that’s the point,” Lance said. “All the characters are so relatable...”

Arthur tuned out again, and this time when his eyes found Merlin, Merlin was staring back.

Arthur wondered if his own eyes mirrored the lust he saw in Merlin’s.

Percival’s voice snapped them out of the moment. “If you’re not going to take it to the bedroom, at least try to take up less space,” he said, moving Gwaine’s feet off the sofa. Gwaine grumbled, but Elena chuckled and sat up.

“It’s okay, Gwaine, I sort of want to play a game anyway,” she said.

Gwaine perked up. “A drinking game, I hope.”

“Never Have I Ever?”

“No!” Arthur exclaimed. He was surprised that Leon and Merlin shouted in unison with him.

“Oh come on, Arthur, don’t ruin _everyone’s_ fun,” Gwaine said. “Just because you’re a boring, posh twat doesn’t mean everyone has to be.”

“Why don’t you want to play, Arthur?” Freya asked, grinning wickedly.

“You’re actually evil, you know that?” Arthur said. Freya just laughed.

“What would we even play to?” Leon asked. “Until someone passes out? Merlin and Sefa are already nearly there.”

Merlin bolted to his feet and raised a finger. “I am not!”

He immediately started tilting dangerously, so much so that Arthur was certain he was going to fall over and hit his head on the nearby table. Arthur instinctively jerked up out of his seat but promptly sat back down again, forcing himself not to act and draw attention.

“‘M fine, ‘m fine,” Merlin drawled when Leon stood to steady Merlin. Merlin sat down by himself, slowly and shakily. Arthur clenched his fists and fought down the urge to glare at his best friend for almost _touching_ Merlin.

“I have a solution,” Percival said. He looked around to see if he had everyone’s attention before continuing. “Stripping.”

The silence was deafening, even the music in the background not enough to ease the tension. And then Sefa shrugged and said in her small voice, “Okay.”

“Sefa!” Gwen exclaimed.

Sefa blushed. “What?”

“I don’t know how I feel about other people seeing Gwen,” Lance muttered. Arthur and Gwen must’ve been the only ones who heard, because everyone else spoke as though they hadn’t.

“I’m in,” Elena said.

Gwaine nodded, already grinning. “My participation goes without saying.”

“And mine, since it was my idea,” Perce stated.

Freya made a grunting noise that Arthur—and probably everyone else as well—took to mean as an affirmative answer.

“What exactly is meant by stripping?” Gwen asked. “I mean, I know what stripping is, but how far?”

“Guess it depends on how many things you have and haven’t done,” Percival replied with a smile.

“No,” Lance said. “No bras and knickers.”

“Well, I don’t care so much about the bra...” Gwen said, looking down.

“Yeah!” Elena shouted. “Equality for all! What’s so different about male and female nipples anyway?”

Percival shrugged. “You won’t hear me complaining.”

Lance still looked hesitant, but he wasn’t going to say anything to Gwen, that much was obvious. Arthur could tell he didn’t like it, but that he was going to let Gwen do what she wanted.

“So everyone gets to keep their pants on?” Sefa asked.

Percival nodded. “Yep.”

“I’m in, then.”

Leon chuckled. “You already said you were. You were the first.”

“Oh yeah.”

Gwaine shot Arthur a challenging look. “You still with us? You’ve gone awfully quiet over there, princess.”

Arthur bit his tongue and tried to keep his leg from bouncing up and down too much. Everyone seemed to be looking at him. Why the hell did it always seem to come down to him?

Across the room, Merlin quirked an eyebrow. Arthur wasn’t too drunk for the meaning to be lost on him: _I’ll do it if you do it_.

“Sure,” Arthur gave in. “Why the hell not.” The worst that could happen was Merlin, Freya, or Sefa called him out on a lie, and he didn’t think that would happen. At least he hoped not.

Gwaine grinned, the expression reminding Arthur of a fox. “Great. Gwen, Lance? You two in?”

Gwen nodded. “I’m in.”

Lance sighed. “I suppose I am, as well.”

Percival stood up. “Brilliant. Alright, so here’s the rules, just in case any of you are too pissed to remember. If someone says ‘never have I ever done something’ and you’ve done it, you remove a piece of clothing. Once you get down to just your pants, switch to shots. The last person with clothes on wins.”

“Gwen’s going to win,” Merlin declared drunkenly. “Just so you all know.”

Gwen laughed. “Well...Yeah, I probably will.”

“Who’s going first?” Elena asked. They were already sitting in a bit of a half circle, with Leon and Lance at each end. Obviously one of them were going to start.

Lance—being Lance, naturally—volunteered to go first. “Never have I ever stolen anything,” he said.

Sefa kicked off a flip flop. Elena took the hair-tie out of her hair. Merlin took off a shoe.

Arthur suddenly lamented the fact that he was wearing only three pieces of clothing. Four, if belts counted. He took off his belt. As Gwaine pulled his shirt over his head, he said, “No way, you have to tell us what you stole, princess.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “My sister’s hairbrush.”

Leon guffawed, and it was so loud that Arthur nearly didn’t hear Merlin’s question. “You have a sister?”

“Why the hell’d you steal her hairbrush?” Gwaine asked over him.

Leon moved to edge of his seat, and Arthur’s stomach sank because Leon had _that_ gleam in his eye.

“Arthur used to be obsessed with his hair—”

“I was not obsessed.”

“Okay, whatever, he just _really_ liked brushing it. _All the time_. But he didn’t have a hairbrush of his own, so he’d always steal Morgana’s.”

“It was a nice brush...” Arthur said, shrugging.

“And she’d always go into this rage when she caught him doing it. It was the funniest thing I ever saw, little Arthur just standing there in the mirror brushing his hair over and over again, and then she comes in, looking ready to tear his head off.”

Merlin laughed hysterically. “What the fuck, Arthur?”

“I was like seven years old!”

Percival looked at him incredulously, eyebrows raised. “Seriously? You brushed your hair over and over again like some fucking nancy?”

Arthur’s heart nearly stopped, only made worse when Merlin laughed again. “Even I can’t argue that one. Did you like feeling pretty or something?”

Arthur blushed, feeling both embarrassed and angry. Yes, he had felt pretty when brushing his hair in the mirror. It had been a weird phase, and once he’d got out of it he’d never wanted to remember ever again. But all kids had their weird phases, right? And why the hell did Merlin, who he’d just confessed his feelings to, have to go and make fun of him for it just like everybody else?

It wasn’t like Arthur could be particularly upset, though. He supposed Merlin must have felt similarly when Arthur had stood by and let his friends take the piss out of him.

“I dunno, I was seven, like I said. For all I know I’d done it just to annoy my sister. What’d _you_ steal?” he asked Merlin.

Merlin snorted. “I just stole money from my mum.”

“You next, Gwen,” Freya prompted.

Gwen’s lips thinned as she thought for a moment. “Never have I ever fallen off a bike.”

Nobody moved.

“Come _on_ , Gwen,” Elena groaned.

Gwen smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.”

All eyes turned to Arthur.

“Never have I ever had a piercing.”

All the girls took something off, and Gwaine applauded. “Excellent move, mate,” he said, giving Arthur a thumbs up. Merlin rolled his eyes.

“Never have I ever peed somewhere that wasn’t a toilet,” Freya said.

Arthur sighed as he removed his top, which seemed to be the general consensus among all the boys. Freya grinned.

At least Merlin was still fully clothed, only having taken off his shoes. He was even wearing socks. So far, so good.

Which was more than could be said for Arthur. Arthur sort of felt sorry for Merlin. Hopefully he wasn’t wearing y-fronts today.

“Never have I ever had sex at school,” Percival said.

“Oh, you wanker!” Gwaine exclaimed. “That was once!”

“And now it’s one piece of clothing you must remove,” Perce declared smugly.

Gwaine grumbled and took off his shorts. He was in just his pants now, which wasn’t entirely unexpected.

“Guess I’m for shots after this,” he said. Then, “Never have I ever given a blow job.”

Merlin groaned. “For fuck’s sake...” He pulled off a sock, but luckily didn’t look Arthur’s way. Leon, however, did.

Why the fuck did Leon look Arthur’s way?

Arthur felt his throat constrict, and swallowing suddenly felt impossible. He tore his gaze from Leon and stared at the floor.

_There’s no way he knows, he would’ve said something._

_Fuck, he knows, he knows._

“Never have I ever had a pet,” Elena said.

Freya, Sefa, and Gwen took off their shirts, revealing the bras underneath. Arthur could physically feel the tension in the room skyrocket. It was like the night Merlin had touched him on the sofa all over again. He wondered if it would end with one big orgy right in the living room.

God, he hoped not. That’d be awkward, with just him and Merlin left standing, unable to give in like the rest.

Merlin grinned when it was his turn. “Never have I ever fucked someone of the opposite sex.”

Arthur decided it was definitely some type of revenge. As he took his shorts off, he thought, _He’s enjoying this, the cheeky shit._

“At least I’m not the only one in my pants now,” Gwaine remarked as he took a shot. He got up to get the bottle, and lined up more glasses.

“Never have I ever skipped school,” Sefa said.

All the boys save Merlin either took a shot or lost an article of clothing, because _of course_ Merlin never bunked off. Freya and Elena were the only girls who had, and they were now in just their bras and knickers. Arthur felt his head spin after his last drink, and the room started getting a little blurry.

Leon thought a moment, then said, “Never have I ever worn makeup.”

Sefa and Gwen were the only girls who didn’t lose clothing then, with Elena and Freya reaching back to take off their bras. Arthur tried not to look, but thought maybe he should, just so he wouldn’t be out of place not doing so. He also hadn’t ever seen breasts so close before, only ever from varying distances like on the nude beach. He was a little curious.

He didn’t want to ogle Elena, so he settled for shooting occasional glances at Freya. But in his sozzled state, occasional glances ended up being on and off staring.

He saw that despite being pale already, she was even paler underneath, her tanline barely noticeable but definitely present. Her breasts weren’t large, but not small, and her nipples were pebbled and dark, contrasting against her skin. They looked really soft.

He blushed when he caught Freya’s eye. “Sorry,” he said, averting his gaze.

Freya laughed, and Arthur hoped she wasn’t offended, or at least knew that he wasn’t staring quite the same way the others were. She shrugged, making her breasts raise and lower.

“You can touch them if you want.”

Arthur wasn’t sure he heard correctly, and though he was definitely curious as to what it felt like— _Never have I ever touched a boob_ —he didn’t much fancy being punched in the face by Percival any time soon.

“Er, I’ll pass,” he said. “Think Perce would kill me.”

“Percival knows our situation.”

Arthur glanced at Percival, who was staring at Arthur as if to say ‘yeah, I know the situation, but that won’t stop me from peeing in your cereal once she’s not around.’

“No thanks.”

“No, it doesn’t!” Merlin was yelling on the other side of the room. It wasn’t an angry yelling, more of a good-natured denial.

“It so does!” Sefa replied, giggling.

“Oh, do you mean the time you put makeup on Merlin, Sefa?” Elena asked.

“It wasn’t makeup, it was lippy, and it was one time in the privacy of her bedroom,” Merlin insisted.

Oh great, now Arthur was imagining those perfect lips all smooth and glistening with lippy.

“Lippy _is_ makeup, Merlin,” Sefa said. “You have to take something off.”

Merlin huffed. “Fine, whatever.” He pulled his shirt off and threw it to the floor with the other clothes. He only had his shorts left now, leaving Gwen and Sefa winning with two more garments to cast off.

“Never have I ever known how to play an instrument,” Lance said.

Merlin lost his shorts, and Arthur was relieved to see he was wearing boxers. Gwen slid off her skirt.

Wait, Merlin played an instrument?

“What instrument?” Arthur asked before his drunken mind thought to stop himself.

Merlin shrugged. “Violin.”

“Flute,” Gwen said.

What? Seriously? How were there so many aspects to one person? Arthur couldn’t even imagine Merlin playing a violin.

Gwaine looked around. “I think Sefa’s going to win.”

“We’ll see about that,” Gwen declared, looking more devious than Arthur had ever expected to see her. “Never have I ever had hair down to my waist.”

“Wow, that must have taken ages to brush,” Arthur said thoughtlessly as Sefa took off her jeans. He blushed and looked down when everyone laughed.

“You would know, princess, since you’re the authority on hair brushing,” Gwaine teased.

“I’m going to kill you, Leon,” Arthur muttered. Or, better yet: “Never have I ever had my parents tell me I don’t have to go to university.”

Leon sighed and took a shot. Gwen took off her bra.

“That means I won!” Sefa exclaimed, standing so quickly that her breasts shook.

“Great. Can we get dressed now?” Freya asked flatly.

Percival nodded. “Yeah, game’s over. Unless we’re doing another round?”

“Not I,” Gwaine said, getting to his feet with Elena. “We’re calling it a night. See you all tomorrow.” He and Elena went straight for his bedroom, not bothering to pick up their clothes first.

Percival laughed. “Have fun!”

“We will!” Gwaine’s voice called back before the door shut.

Freya picked up her bra and put it on, then turned around, baring her back to Perce. “Clasp it,” she said.

Arthur started feeling dizzy, like his last shot had suddenly decided to start fucking him over, and he had to grip the sides of his chair to keep from falling out of it. Things alternated between blurry and sharp again.

“You okay, Arthur?” Merlin asked. Arthur could see his concerned face as though through a tunnel, and tried to focus on it.

“Um. Yes. Just a little pissed.”

“Grab my clothes and come with me,” Freya ordered. Arthur thought at first that she was talking to him, but Percival stood up and retrieved her clothes, then followed her out the door into the night.

“We’re gonna go, too,” Lance said, standing and grabbing Gwen’s hand. “Try to drink some water, Arthur.”

“Yeah.”

And then suddenly it was just him and Merlin, Leon and Sefa, and everything was quiet.

Sefa coughed a little, and Arthur couldn’t tell if she was meaningfully clearing her throat or honestly coughing. Leon was doing some weird interlocking thing with his fingers while keeping his eyes lowered. Arthur worried again if Leon knew.

Eventually, Merlin sighed and got up to get dressed. Nobody else moved; Arthur didn’t know what Leon and Sefa’s reasons were, but he himself still felt too unsteady to do much more than sit still.

When Merlin was fully clothed again, he crossed the room, and Arthur’s pulse quickened as he wondered what Merlin was going to do. But Merlin just got a bottle of water from the fridge and handed it to him.

“Here.”

Arthur took it and twisted open the top as Merlin went to sit back down next to Sefa. As he took his first large gulp, Merlin leaned over and whispered something in Sefa’s ear.

Arthur spilled some water on his chin when Sefa’s eyes looked up and met his, and he hurried to wipe it away. What was Merlin saying to her?

She turned and whispered a reply in Merlin’s ear, and Arthur’s stomach churned. He hoped he wasn’t about to be sick.

Then Merlin was crossing the room again, coming straight for Arthur. Arthur couldn’t get enough air into his lungs, and it felt like his heart was about to jump out of his chest.

Merlin put a hand on Arthur’s shoulder as he leaned down to whisper in his ear. “Leon knows.”

Arthur felt the blood leave his face, and at the same time, Sefa was saying something into Leon’s ear. Leon suddenly raised his gaze, making eye contactly immediately with Arthur.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck,_ Arthur thought, placing a hand on his knee to keep from falling forward. _That’s it, my life is over. Holiday’s ruined._

Merlin’s hand stroked his hair, and Arthur tried to breathe, to focus only on the touch and let it calm him, definitely not thinking about Leon, who could see the obvious comforting action. “It’s okay,” Merlin said softly. “If he hasn’t told anyone yet, then he probably doesn’t mean to.”

“I won’t,” Leon said. “If that’s what you want, I won’t say anything.”

“But...how?” Arthur asked. “And how long?”

“Well, I’d suspected for a while. We’ve known each other over ten years, and you’re like my brother. But I didn’t know for certain until...when I heard you in—”

“The bathroom,” Arthur finished. “Fuck.”

Leon blushed. Shit, that wasn’t good. “Yeah.”

Arthur groaned. “How much did you hear?”

“Er, most of it, I think. Not from the beginning but through to the end.”

Arthur groaned again, and Merlin’s fingers sunk into his hair, massaging the scalp. Arthur closed his eyes and tried to breathe evenly. He was too drunk for this to be happening now.

“Drink more water,” Merlin said, as though reading Arthur’s mind. Arthur raised the bottle in his hand and drank, the cold liquid feeling heavenly going down his throat.

“We can talk about it later,” Leon said. “But really, there’s nothing to discuss. It’s not as big a deal as you’re making it, and I get why you haven’t told anyone. You can trust me not to say anything.”

Arthur opened his eyes, finding Leon’s again. “Thanks.”

“Can we go to my room?” Sefa turned to Leon and asked. Leon gaped.

Merlin burst into giggles, and Arthur looked up at him. He’d almost forgot that he wasn’t the only one who was pissed from all those shots, and he was a little surprised that Merlin had been doing a better job than him of acting sober.

“I don’t think Gwen will be returning to her own bed any time soon,” Merlin told Leon, still laughing. “You should take advantage of it. And I’ll have a bit of fun with this one,” he finished, tugging Arthur’s hair.

Arthur blushed and looked at the floor as his head was pulled back. “This one still feels a little dizzy,” he muttered.

Leon stood and picked up his shorts. “Well, whatever you do, take care of him, okay?”

“I can take care of myself, Mum,” Arthur drawled.

“Of course,” Merlin said, ignoring Arthur. “And you better not hurt Sefa.”

Sefa blushed as Leon handed her her clothes. “Merls...”

“I would never,” Leon assured him.

“Great. Come on, Arthur, you should probably get to a bed.”

Arthur grunted. “Wish you were strong so you could carry me.”

Leon laughed, and Arthur remembered that he should probably watch what he said, at least until he and Merlin were alone.

Merlin lowered himself and draped Arthur’s arm over his shoulder, hauling Arthur up. “And I wish you weren’t fat, so I could carry you.”

“‘M not fat.” Just because he wasn’t skin and bones like Merlin didn’t mean he was fat. Though at the moment, he certainly felt heavy, so it was no wonder Merlin was groaning under the weight.

“‘Course not. It’s all muscle and all the fat went to your arse. Hey, careful, you’re spilling water everywhere!”

Arthur had forgot he was even holding the water bottle, and his hand had started to let it droop. He quickly righted it, so quickly that some sloshed out and got on his shirt.

“Fuck.”

“Ugh, come on, we’re almost there,” Merlin said as they passed the hall bathroom. Arthur could hear female moaning behind him, coming from Gwaine’s room, and was glad when the sound faded once he entered his own.

Arthur was just about to tell Merlin to close the door when Merlin kicked it shut. It made Arthur wobble a little, but then Merlin straightened himself, or at least tried to, and they managed to make it to the bed. Merlin took the bottle from Arthur’s hand before dropping him down, and Arthur fell on his side with a huff, bouncing a few times on the springy mattress.

And of course that’s when Arthur realised. “I have to pee.”

Merlin sighed and plopped down onto the bed next to him. “Nope, not helping you with that.”

Arthur hadn’t expected him to; he’d just been mourning the fact aloud. He let himself lay a few more seconds, but the pressure on his bladder was becoming a bit insistent, so he rolled over and slowly pushed himself up.

After crawling backwards off the bed and standing still a couple moments to readjust to being vertical again, Arthur took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and made for the loo. It wasn’t so bad. Maybe the water was helping. He didn’t even feel like he was going to be sick anymore.

“Good luck not missing the bowl,” Merlin said from the bed.

Arthur frowned. “Hmm. Probably I’ll sit, I think.”

“Good luck getting back up.”

“Stop being pessimistic.”

“Please don’t fall and hit your head on the sink.” Just as Arthur turned to close the door, Merlin sprung off the bed. “Actually, maybe I should help you. Or at least stand close in case something happens.”

Arthur chuckled. “Pretty sure I’ve got this, Merlin.”

Merlin raised his hand. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

Arthur saw a thumb, a forefinger, and maybe a middle finger as well, but the last looked a little blurry. “Six,” he said.

Merlin looked from his fingers to Arthur, gaping. “Oh my God. You do know I’m only holding up one hand, right?”

Arthur laughed. “I’m kidding, Merlin. Just gimme a couple minutes.”

Merlin still looked uncertain, but sat down on the bed as Arthur closed the door. A couple minutes later, when Arthur opened it again, Merlin was standing right in front of it.

“Uh, hi.”

Merlin smiled sheepishly. “I think I’m at that stage where I’m a bit paranoid. It happens.”

“And I’m at the stage where the dizziness has passed but I still don’t feel like moving, so if you could just be paranoid three steps to the left and allow me to die on the bed, that’d be great.”

Merlin sighed but moved out of the way. Arthur crossed back to the bed, and was glad he was still in only his pants so he didn’t have to undress. He grabbed the water bottle Merlin had put on the nightstand and gulped down as much as he could. He couldn’t find the cap, though; apparently that was gone forever.

After that, Arthur could barely keep his eyes open. He didn’t care that the light was still on, he didn’t really hear Merlin closing the window and drawing the curtain, and he certainly didn’t register Merlin’s sweet, lulling voice saying, “Guess that means we’re not fucking tonight.”


	6. Day 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Just one caress became a symphony of passion, insatiable longing, an unquenchable desire to possess...Gasps...The sparkling touch, embrace make hard to breathe...A mere short burst of brilliance, explosive need...forbidden sweet...Beneath the warmth of a dancing rainbow summer sunset, slowly turning into the magic night with the stars flooding the sapphire skies...the sacred emerald island wildlife listens to our song, played with loving fingertips, reflected in diving deep into each other's ocean eyes." 
> 
> \- Oksana Rus

It was hot breath on the back of his neck that woke Arthur. He became aware of things singularly, and then all at once. First it was the muted song of the birds telling him his window wasn’t open, then it was the thick, dead feeling of his tongue in his mouth, and lastly it was the heat at his back, along with an arm wrapped comfortably around him.

Then, altogether: _Merlin is in bed with me and anyone could walk in and and my head is gonna explode and I have to throw up._

Arthur threw back the duvet and jumped from the bed, racing to the loo. His stomach lurched and he felt it rising to his throat and he worried he wouldn’t make it. Just as his knees hit the hard tile in front of the toilet, it spewed out of him into the bowl.

Arthur hated throwing up; he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d got so sick. He’d heave for half a minute, think he was done, and start again. What made it worse was that Merlin was just in the bedroom, and there was no way he was sleeping through the sounds Arthur was making.

Arthur’s back was to the door, so he didn’t hear Merlin until he spoke. “Are you okay?”

“What the fuck do you think? Go away.”

Arthur flushed the toilet, but he was pretty sure he wasn’t done yet. He needed a moment to breathe.

“Are you sure?” Merlin asked.

Arthur put his forehead on the edge of toilet, and was dimly aware that he was shaking. “Please go away,” he groaned. The last thing he needed was for Merlin to see him like this.

“Do you...want me to get Leon?”

Arthur didn’t even know. Leon wouldn’t mind helping him, but Arthur didn’t know what time it was, or if Leon was still with Sefa, or anything really. If Arthur sent Merlin out for something, who knew what he’d walk into in the living room, who would be waiting there to question him about where he spent the night?

Eventually Arthur decided he didn’t care, at least not right now. “Yes,” he said.

“Okay.”

Arthur heard the click of the bedroom door just as his stomach lurched again. He wondered how long it would go on for.

It was about the time that his stomach started feeling like a black hole ripping him from the inside out that Leon arrived. Arthur was coughing into the toilet and wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand when Leon knelt down beside him and handed him a flannel.

“Here, use this.”

Arthur grunted in thanks and wiped both his hand and his lips. He flushed the toilet once more, then sat on his legs beside it, hugging his middle and groaning.

“How long have you been at it?” Leon asked.

“Dunno,” Arthur drawled. “Feels like forever. Probably ten minutes. What time is it?”

“Nearly one.”

“Was there...Did anyone see Merlin?”

Leon shook his head. “No. Lance and Gwen went...Well, I’m not sure. Gwaine and Elena went shopping again, and Percival...Well, I’m not sure about him either actually. And Freya’s reading in her room.”

“Okay. Okay.”

It started up again, and Leon’s hand rubbing Arthur’s back was a definite comfort. Arthur was glad he’d decided to have him come down after all.

“Ugh. Stupid Percival and his stupid ideas,” Arthur mourned, holding his stomach again.

“Actually I’m pretty sure it was Elena’s idea at the start,” Merlin voice chimed in.

Arthur looked over his shoulder toward the door, and saw Merlin leaning against the frame. What the hell was he still doing there? Arthur had sent him for Leon for a reason, and it certainly wasn’t so he could stick around to watch him get sick.

“Yeah, and how the hell _you_ managed to be fine is a mystery,” Arthur muttered. “You were just as plastered as I was.”

Merlin shrugged. “Elena says I’m a lightweight that can hold his alcohol. Go figure.”

“It probably helped that he was wearing more clothes than everyone,” Leon added. “You were knocking them back rather quickly, Arthur.”

Arthur snorted. “Gwaine—”

“Is Gwaine,” Leon finished. “Who knows how that bloke’s body works?”

Arthur groaned, clutching his stomach which still felt like an endless abyss. “I’m gonna _die_.”

“Just wondering,” Merlin said hesitantly. “ _Have_ you ever fucked someone of the opposite sex?”

Arthur glared at him.

“What? That could’ve been the question that pushed you over the edge,” Merlin explained. “I’m just wondering if you’d told the truth—”

“Even if I had told the truth, it would’ve been an equal number of shots,” Arthur said. “‘Cause of Gwaine’s stupid blow job question.”

“Oh. That’s true, I guess.”

Arthur sighed and slumped against the toilet. He didn’t know which pain was worse: the one in his stomach or his head.

At least he didn’t feel like he was going to throw up anymore. He felt mostly empty, hollowed out and drained. He closed his eyes and breathed, letting the cool porcelain of the toilet soothe his forehead.

“Are you feeling better?” Leon asked after a few minutes.

“Yeah. Past the worst of it, I think.”

“Do you want anything?”

“Water. Paracetamol. A new body.”

“Well, I can do two out of three,” Leon said, standing up. “Stay here.”

“As if I’d move.”

“Fair enough.”

Merlin stepped aside to allow Leon to pass, and soon it was just the two of them again. Arthur slid across the floor until he was leaning against the shower and raised his knees to his chest, because he felt like that was a less pathetic position than being slumped on the toilet. It also felt better on his stomach being curled up a little.

“Sorry we didn’t get to do anything last night,” Arthur mumbled a bit later. “Not like I didn’t want to.”

Merlin shrugged. “It’s fine. I was tired, too.”

“Yeah. Waste of a night, though.”

“Yeah,” Merlin agreed, sighing.

Leon returned with water and paracetamol, and knelt beside Arthur again. Arthur took it gratefully, and kept chugging water until the glass was nearly empty.

“So, er, about last night,” Leon began.

Arthur looked up at him. Oh. Were they going to talk about that now?

“Yeah?”

“You were pretty out of it so I just wanted to say it again, to be sure—I won’t tell anyone. It’s honestly fine.”

Arthur dropped his gaze. He wanted to ask if Leon thought any differently of him and wondered how much this would change things between them. If Leon had suspected for a while, then he had to know that Arthur had almost drunkenly felt him up, that Arthur had done nothing while the others teased Merlin, that Arthur had seen them all naked.

But he couldn’t ask, not just because Merlin was there but because he knew Leon would simply deny it anyway. Leon was loyal enough that even if this part of Arthur disgusted him, he’d push down the revulsion to save their friendship.

So Arthur just said, “Thanks.”

Leon put a heavy hand on Arthur’s shoulder. “No problem. Now take a shower; you reek.”

Arthur sighed, too hungover to argue. He’d probably feel better after a shower anyway, less like an insect that’d been dragged across the floor and more like himself. Leon helped him to his feet, patted him once more on the back, then left.

Then it was just him and Merlin.

“What?” Arthur asked, moving to close the door and shut Merlin out.

“Can I...?” Merlin jerked his head in the direction of the shower.

“I just finished puking my guts out, Merlin.”

Merlin shrugged. “So brush your teeth.” He walked in, smirking in the way that made Arthur want to punch and kiss him at the same time. “We don’t have to kiss, you know.”

“I still feel like shit, either way.”

Arthur wasn’t going to argue though, and Merlin already had his shirt off so it was too late anyway. He did feel terrible, but he supposed Merlin had a point as well—they didn’t have to kiss.

“We can just shower then,” Merlin said as he dropped his pants. Arthur couldn’t help it; his eyes latched onto Merlin’s arse and he couldn’t look away. “Maybe it’s enough for me just being naked with you.”

Arthur supposed he could relate. His head was still pounding, his mouth and throat were still at odds with him, and he didn’t really want to stand, like, at all, but it _was_ a good feeling being naked with Merlin. Even hung-over, Arthur knew he would like feeling Merlin’s skin, of feeling Merlin’s hands on him, of just being close.

So he went to the sink and brushed his teeth. By the time he joined Merlin in the shower, Merlin was soapy and a little pink, water bouncing off his body in a light spray.

Merlin’s half smile when he entered made Arthur feel a bit better as well. He made room for Arthur under the stream and Arthur ducked his head, letting the water fall down his hair and back. It wasn’t too cold or too hot, and Arthur wanted to just stand there for a while, breathing in the head-clearing, humid air while he relaxed.

A grunt made him realise he’d closed his eyes at some point, and he opened them to find a soapy flannel being pushed to his chest. He took it unthinkingly, running it up his arm to his shoulder. Just as unthinkingly, he raised his eyes to Merlin’s face and saw Merlin staring back at him.

Merlin didn’t have to say anything. Arthur knew he was thinking it as well, and felt his stomach twist.

_This’ll be over too soon._

Merlin stepped forward, until Arthur could feel the warmth of his skin. Merlin’s hands slid around Arthur’s waist, bringing their bodies closer together, and it suddenly didn’t matter that he had the headache of a lifetime or wanted to fall back into bed. As long as Merlin was touching him, as long as he could feel Merlin’s wet flesh under his fingers, he was perfectly fine.

Merlin’s lowered his head until his lips were pressed to Arthur’s neck. It was a hug then, an embrace, somehow the most intimate thing they’d ever done, and Arthur couldn’t breathe.

“Merlin.”

“I don’t care anymore,” Merlin said. It had more force than Arthur expected. “Fuck this arrangement. Elena and Gwaine are doing it. Lance and Gwen are doing it. Why can’t we have what they have?”

“Lance and Gwen are mental.”

“I don’t care,” he repeated, holding Arthur tighter. “You don’t have to say you like me, you don’t have to be my boyfriend for the next couple days. But tell me you don’t want this part of it, too. If you can honestly say you don’t want this, then I’ll stop.”

Arthur wanted to say that Merlin was being stupid. Of course he wanted this; it was _because_ he wanted this that he didn’t want to do it. Because it would hurt more at the end.

But all of a sudden, it made more sense to just give in. It would be better, when all was said and done, to have had it once than to never have had it at all.

With a sigh, Arthur slid his hands up to Merlin’s waist, wrapping his arms around just as Merlin was. He felt the tension leave Merlin’s body as Merlin pressed more weight against him, and he relaxed his own muscles to do the same, letting his head fall forward to rest on Merlin’s shoulder.

He’d never felt so happy. He’d never felt so at peace.

It had to have been a few minutes of just standing there before Arthur felt Merlin moving his hand back to grab the flannel Arthur still held loosely between his fingers. He let Merlin take it, unwilling to move just yet but know they’d have to eventually.

When Merlin ran the flannel across Arthur’s skin, over the swell of his arse and deep into the cleft, Arthur’s hips jerked backward on their own and he gasped.

“Merlin.”

Arthur wouldn’t be adverse to a hand job or something now, but he wasn’t quite back up to his usual standards, and didn’t think he was ready for Merlin’s cock at the moment. Still, he didn’t protest when Merlin’s slippery finger traced and teased the soapy rim, and when it pushed inside, when it breached Arthur and burrowed deep, Arthur found himself clutching Merlin even more.

“This okay?” Merlin asked. “Want me to st—”

“Don’t stop.”

Merlin chuckled, and began working his finger back and forth. Arthur let out a shuddered breath because yeah, that was perfect, not too much and not too little, and even though soapy water certainly wasn’t lube, the sensation still had Arthur biting his lip to hold back a moan.

Merlin’s other hand reached back and urged Arthur to take the flannel. Arthur knew what he was meant to do, and gave Merlin the same quick preparatory treatment before soaping up his fingers and sliding one inside. Merlin’s breath hitched and he rocked back onto it with a wrecked sigh.

Arthur only realised then how hard he’d gotten, and used his hold on Merlin’s arse to pull him forward, bringing their cocks together. That got a moan out of Merlin, and Arthur was rewarded with the quickening motions of Merlin’s finger.

Arthur raised his right leg a bit, curling it around Merlin’s thigh so Merlin could push deeper, and that was the turning point, that was when it became desperate, because Merlin eased another finger in beside the first and sent bursts of pleasure and pain sparking through Arthur’s nerves. From then on it was all pumping fingers and thrusting hips and needy gasps of each other’s name, sometimes accompanied by “fuck” and “yeah.” When Arthur finally came, just seconds after Merlin, he had to bury his face in Merlin’s neck to muffle his moan.

He stayed like that, curled around Merlin and quivering, for a moment, before finally lowering his leg and exhaling. He hadn’t realised he’d dropped the flannel until he felt his foot touch it on the floor of the shower.

Arthur winced when Merlin’s fingers left his arse, and Merlin let out a short gasp when Arthur removed his. There was just the sound of the water and their heavy panting for a few seconds, and Arthur shivered when he felt Merlin’s hand trail up to his hip again.

Arthur was suddenly grateful he’d brushed his teeth, and grateful the paracetamol seemed to finally be kicking in effectively, because when he flicked his eyes up and caught Merlin’s gaze, he felt the need to kiss Merlin like he never had before. He put a hand to the back of Merlin’s neck and leaned forward, bringing their lips together and holding Merlin close.

That’s when he thought it again.

_This’ll be over too soon._

☼ ☼ ☼

“Guess who I met!”

Arthur looked up from his macaroni cheese at Percival, who’d just walked through the door. Gwaine got up from his chair at the table, eyes lit up in excitement.

“Is it who I think it is?” Gwaine asked.

Percival revealed a small clear bag from behind his back, holding it up for all to see. There were beige pills piled into a corner, and Arthur instantly knew what it was.

Percival grinned. “Yep. Molly.”

Beside Arthur on the sofa, Gwen shifted uncomfortably in Lance’s lap. Arthur couldn’t hear what Lance said in her ear, but it was probably an assurance that she didn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to. Elena beside Gwaine, however, perked up, just as Leon did.

“How much you got?” Gwaine asked, walking over to inspect.

Percival pulled the bag away and raised a finger in warning. “There’s two for each of us, so the high’ll last longer.”

“For us as well?” Elena asked.

Gwen frowned. “I don’t think Sefa or Merlin much care for it, Elena. I’m fine going without, too.”

Elena scoffed. “Merlin would so do it. You hardly know him as well as you think.”

Gwen sighed. “Elena...”

“Of course I got enough for all of us,” Percival said, ignoring the girls. “Even for the—”

“Perce!” Leon snapped. Arthur looked back at his food.

“It’s not like he’s here.”

“That doesn’t mean you can talk about him,” Elena said angrily. Gwaine gave Percival a look that obviously meant ‘Don’t be an idiot in front of the girls’ as he put a hand to Elena’s lower back.

“Alright, whatever. Yeah, I got one for him, too,” Perce finished, shrugging.

“And if someone doesn’t want theirs?” Gwen asked.

“We could always sell it to someone else. No way we can take it back on the plane with us.”

“Show of hands who’s not in,” Gwaine said. “I know you lot are.” He gestured to Arthur, Leon, Elena, and Perce. “Lance?”

Lancelot glanced at Gwen, and Gwen shrugged. He still looked uncertain for a moment, and finally he said, “Think I’ll pass this time.”

Gwaine sighed. “Lance, seriously?”

“Gwen, come on, have a bit of fun,” Elena said before Lance could reply. “It’s not going to kill you.”

Gwen pursed her lips and blushed a bit. “I’m not even sure what it is,” she admitted quietly.

“What, molly?” Gwaine said.

Gwen nodded.

“It’s ecstasy,” Elena explained. “A party drug.”

“Oh.”

“You don’t have to do it,” Lance reassured her, rubbing her leg. “It’s fine.”

“What does it do?”

“Makes you feel like you’re having a lot of fun,” Perce answered, smiling. “Makes you all touchy-feely, too.”

The latter was the part Arthur both loved and hated. Arthur always dreaded what might happen, and after the near-incident with Leon he was even more worried. He usually wasn’t very physical, but this did cause him to get a bit more...friendly.

Still, he liked the experience. He wouldn’t let the fear of accidentally outing himself be enough of a reason to make him sit out. He just wondered what Merlin would think. What Merlin would _do_.

“Is it addictive?”

Percival shook his head. “Not terribly. We’ve all done it before and you don’t see us gagging for it. Look, it’ll be fine, but if you don’t wanna do it, nobody’s making you.”

Gwen hummed thoughtfully. “I do want to at least try...”

Gwaine whooped. “That’s the spirit!”

“As long as you’re sure,” Lance said.

Gwen nodded, mind made up. “I’m sure. I still don’t think Sefa or Merlin will want to do it, though.”

Elena rolled her eyes. “Do you even know Merlin? He’ll do almost anything at least once.”

“I’ve known him longer than you, actually, so yes, I do know him,” Gwen replied. “And I highly doubt he’d do anything once.”

“I said _almost_ anything.”

Gwaine turned Elena back to him. “Why don’t we get back to the matter at hand, yeah?” He jerked his head in the direction of Percival, who shook the bag meaningfully.

“Someone should at least ask the others,” Elena said. “Not fair to leave them out.”

“Arthur, go up and ask the others if they want to join,” Percival said.

Arthur swallowed the macaroni cheese in his mouth. “Why me?”

Percival walked to the other side of the room. “Because you’re closest to the door.”

“Nice, Perce,” Arthur said, rolling his eyes. He was finished anyway, and got up to put his bowl on the table. “Don’t you dare start without me,” he threw over his shoulder on the way out.

He heard Gwaine’s answering, “Wouldn’t dream of it, princess!”

Arthur bounded up the stairs. The sun was just about set now. It’d been a lazy sort of day, with none of them going anywhere or doing anything really. Apparently it was going to be an eventful night.

The door was unlocked when Arthur tried it. He pushed it open and peeked in. “Hello?”

Sefa’s head appeared around the corner of the corridor, the rest of her body hidden behind the wall. When she saw it was Arthur, she stepped out fully, and Arthur saw she wasn’t wearing anything over her knickers. With a quick glance at her chest, it didn’t look like she was wearing a bra either.

“Uh, hi,” Arthur said, flitting his eyes back to her face.

“Hi,” she said, waving. “We’re all in Freya’s room listening to music.”

“Oh, cool. I was just coming to ask if you wanted to come do some molly with us?”

Sefa’s eyes widened briefly. “Uh, I’ll go ask. You can come in if you want.”

Arthur stepped in and closed the door behind him. He hadn’t bothered to put on shoes since it was just up the stairs, so he wiggled his toes to get the dust out as he waited. A few seconds after Sefa left, Merlin showed up.

He smiled like he hadn’t just seen Arthur a few hours ago. Arthur felt his heart clench.

“Hey,” Merlin said.

“Hey.”

“I hear you’ve acquired illegal substances?”

Arthur chuckled. “Yes. Interested?”

Before Merlin could answer, Sefa returned with Freya. Sefa was wearing a skirt now, but Freya was just as unclothed from the waist down as Sefa previously had been.

“Do they have like, an issue with clothing?” Arthur asked.

Merlin shrugged. “It’s hot up here.”

“And it’s more comfortable,” Freya added. “Have you ever worn a bra? It’s a fucking harness.”

“Anyway,” Merlin said, rolling his eyes, “the answer is yes. Not sure about Sefa, though. She’s...you know. Sefa.”

“Hey!”

“I was just told to come ask,” Arthur replied. “Do what you want.”

Merlin disappeared briefly then came back, shoving his mobile into his pocket. “Alright, I’m in.”

Arthur eyed him curiously. “Have you ever done molly before?”

“Yeah.”

“Merlin.”

Merlin stared at him blankly a few seconds, but then looked away, sighing. “Whatever.”

Behind Merlin, Freya crossed her arms and snorted. Merlin’s head whipped around and Arthur figured he was glaring at her.

“I’m going to get dressed,” Freya said, taking Merlin’s glare in stride.

“And I’m not as boring as you think I am,” Sefa said, tilting her chin defiantly. “I’ll put a bra on and be right back.”

They walked off into separate rooms and Arthur was left alone with Merlin. Merlin cleared his throat and crossed the room to Arthur.

“Don’t suppose we could have a quick snog or something before we have to go down?” he asked, voice lowered.

Arthur chuckled, but he wanted to as well. “I’ll taste a bit cheesy.”

Merlin leaned forward and sniffed a couple times, then shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

Arthur grinned as he brought his lips closer to Merlin’s. “Alright.”

The kiss itself wasn’t actually the best part. The best part was the touching—Merlin’s hands on Arthur’s arse, squeezing and holding him close while Arthur had his own hands settled on Merlin’s hips. He slid a hand up Merlin’s shirt, just a bit, just enough to feel warm skin, and Merlin’s hands kneaded Arthur’s arse even more as he moaned in approval.

It was Freya’s voice that made them reluctantly part. “As hot as this is to watch, I feel obligated to remind you both that party drugs are downstairs and we’re currently at a risk of missing it.”

Merlin rolled his eyes as his hands left Arthur, and Arthur looked at the floor. “I feel obligated to tell you to shut the hell up,” Merlin countered.

Sefa returned, her chest looking much more supported. “I’m ready.” She looked between them all, and seemed to sense the situation, especially when Arthur licked his lips. “Oh, were they kissing? Awww, Merlin!”

Merlin groaned. “Oh my God, _Sefa_.”

Arthur spun on his heel. “Right, well.” He didn’t really have anything to say after that, so he said nothing, and made for the door.

He heard the three of them following but didn’t look back, and tried to school his features into something more normal as he descended the stairs. By the time he was back at the entrance to his own flat, he thought maybe he’d got it.

“I told you he would!” Elena declared when they walked in.

Gwen rolled her eyes.

Percival stood from where he’d taken Arthur’s place on the sofa. “Now that everyone’s here...” He walked around handing each of them a single pill, and Arthur couldn’t help but glance at Merlin when Merlin took his.

Arthur popped his into his mouth. _Here we go._

☼ ☼ ☼

Arthur could tell when it hit him. It had already hit Elena, Leon, Sefa, and Gwaine. He’d been drumming his fingers over his knee when suddenly everything was a little wavy, he felt a buzzing happiness under his skin, and he giggled, overcome with joy.

“Arthur’s on my level now,” Gwaine announced, slapping a hand on Arthur’s back.

Arthur sat, bouncy and grinning. Gwaine’s hand felt so nice on his back, so warm and reassuring, and if he closed his eyes it felt like the hand was melting into him, becoming part of him. He sighed happily, and was still content even after Gwaine’s hand left.

“Time to take the next one?” Elena asked.

“No, wait ‘til it hits all of us,” Perce said. “We’ll all do the next round together.”

“Well hurry the fuck up and get up here then,” Gwaine snapped.

“Mmm, Gwainey you feel so nice,” Elena cooed, rubbing her forehead into Gwaine’s shoulder.

Arthur giggled again at the stupid nickname, joined shortly after by everyone else. That’s when it seemed to finally get to Merlin.

“Whoa,” Merlin drawled, blinking quickly. “Shiiiiiit.”

Sefa started snickering, hard enough to snort like a pig, and that made Elena burst into laughter as well.

“What the fuck kind of laugh was that, Sefa?”

“I dunno, I dunno! It just came out!”

“Oh my God,” Merlin groaned, holding his head in his hands. He was staring straight ahead with wide eyes and parted lips. “Oh my God, why is this so fucking amazing?”

Gwen gasped suddenly, and raised her hand in front of her face. “Wow,” she breathed. “That’s brilliant.”

Lance smiled at her, and Arthur could tell just from that smile that Lance was there as well, maybe had been for a while and just hadn’t said anything. Arthur was so happy more people felt what he felt, because everyone should have felt what he felt, definitely, for sure, all the time, they needed to be this happy.

“I don’t think I feel bad, like...at all!” Merlin exclaimed. “Shit, I don’t even feel a _little_ bad! Like usually when I’m happy there’s a lingering trace of not-happy but this is just like...it’s...Fuck, what the fuck is it?”

“It’s pure!” Gwaine shouted. “Pure bliss!”

Merlin jumped to his feet and pointed at Gwaine in triumph. “Yes, that’s exactly what it is! This is pure fucking bliss I am feeling right now!”

“Whoo!”

Arthur could hardly believe it when Gwaine and Merlin high-fived each other, and it made him even happier. Percival had a brow raised, but that didn’t trouble Arthur any. He passed over the fact and went on to the next, which was how close he suddenly felt with them all. It was like their little living area with all of them seated in a circle was a small space ship, and Arthur was going on a journey through the universe with them. He wondered which of them would be the pilot. He wondered which planet or star system they were headed for and if the indigenous creatures would eat them.

How did one travel through space without running into those large balls of fire? Were stars really so far away that even in space it was blackness except for the tiny points of light? What if they targeted a star in their spaceship’s GPS and headed straight for it, nonstop? Would they eventually reach it and be consumed into it? Or maybe each star was really a sun with its own system of planets revolving around it. That would be a lot of planets, a lot of worlds, a lot of species with endless possibilities of physical characteristics that Arthur couldn’t even fathom.

He felt so small then, but also incredibly lucky. He was on _this_ sofa, in _this_ room, in _this_ house with _these_ people, at _this_ moment in time, which would never happen again. He’d have a vague memory of this, but this was the only time that _this_ would happen to him, _ever_ , on the planet Earth, in the Milky Way galaxy, while he was seventeen years old in Avalon.

It was too much. What even was life? Life was so fucking precious and so fucking perfect that it hurt Arthur with its beauty. He looked around at his friends and couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have this moment, this moment that he would never get again, and he wanted to embrace it and cherish it forever, because these people were _so fucking special_.

“Arthur is so far fucking gone,” Leon declared with a laugh.

Arthur only realised then that he was giggling and rocking back and forth, and promptly stopped himself to show some semblance of control.

“Leon,” he drawled. “I’m good right now. _Really_ good.”

Leon looked him in the eye and nodded. “So ‘m I, mate. So am I.”

Arthur just knew; they felt the same thing.

Leon was definitely the brother he never had.

“Yes! Alright, time for round two!” Percival yelled, springing up.

Gwen was the only one who was a little uncertain. “Are you sure? What if it makes me spontaneously combust or something?”

Lance shook his head and waved his hands. “No, no, no. It doesn’t increase the high. Well I mean. I guess it sort of does. I shouldn’t speak for everyone. But really it’s just so the high lasts longer. So you don’t come down as fast. You’ll be totally fine, seriously!”

“Oh. Okay.”

As Arthur took his second pill, he didn’t think about anything except how happy he was that this feeling was going to last longer. He wanted it to last forever. He knew it wouldn’t, but that was fine as well. It made the moment even more special.

“Hey, Elena!” Freya suddenly called.

“Hey, Freya!” Elena shouted back.

“You know that thing we always do?”

“When we’re doing _these_ sorts of things?”

“Yeah, yeah!”

Elena looked to the ceiling, batting her lashes innocently. “What about it?”

“Elena, don’t be stupid, come over and let’s do it,” Freya urged, laughing and waving her over.

Elena was a tilting blur as she walked from one end of the room to the other and sat on Freya’s lap. Actually, sitting wasn’t the word. Straddling was the word. Elena had one leg on either side of Freya where Freya was seated in one of the dining chairs, arms draped over Freya’s neck. Arthur wasn’t sure if what he was seeing was real or not when they started kissing, their tongues sliding messily in a sloppy tangle.

“Holy shit,” Percival said.

“She didn’t tell me she was—“

“Elena’s not,” Merlin cut Gwaine off. “Not when she’s sober, anyway. But Freya is, so naturally she scores every time Elena gets especially off her arse.” Merlin finished with a laugh, and laughed even harder when Freya flipped him the finger behind Elena’s back.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Lance said, gaping at the scene. When Gwen shot him a look, he blinked and backtracked. “I mean...Uh...Not as hot as you?”

Gwen rolled her eyes, and Sefa nudged her. “It’s okay. We think the same when boys kiss, don’t we?”

Gwen smiled and nodded. “We definitely like it when boys kiss.”

“I like it when boys kiss, too,” Merlin announced. Arthur hadn’t realised until then that Merlin had somehow made his way to the floor in the centre of the room, sprawled out like a star.

Arthur couldn’t help laughing, because he knew just how well Sefa liked seeing boys kiss. Luckily Arthur wasn’t the only one to laugh—everyone did.

“Of course you like it, bloody poof!” Percival quipped between snorts of laughter.

Merlin’s grin turned a little dopey. “You keep saying that like it’s a bad thing. But wow, I really love being a poof,” he said wistfully. He sighed and closed his eyes like he was at peace or something. “God, I love it so much.”

Arthur fell out of his chair from laughing so hard. He almost felt like he couldn’t breathe, like he was inhaling more than he was exhaling. The lack of oxygen just made him dizzy and giddy and made his vision swim.

Beside Arthur, Merlin curled into a ball and groaned. “Oh my God, I love boys so much. _Boooooooys_.”

Gwen knelt beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. She looked at him deeply, making sure she had eye contact before giving Merlin’s shoulder a squeeze and nodding solemnly.

“I understand completely, Merlin.”

Arthur wasn’t the only one who couldn’t handle how seriously she’d said it; even Elena and Freya pulled away from each other to laugh. It’d been so fucking dramatic!

Suddenly Merlin got up, pushing himself off the floor still laughing. “I’m going outside for a bit.”

Arthur didn’t want Merlin to go. They were all supposed to be on a journey together, penetrating the void in their little spaceship. For Merlin to leave now was wrong. He was part of their unit and was detaching himself!

“Why?”

The word left Arthur’s mouth before Arthur thought about stopping it. What made it worse was that it came out whiny, like a complaint.

Thankfully, it wasn’t just Arthur who was confused at the sudden desire to leave.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with in here?” Leon asked.

“We’re a _family_ , Merls, you should _stay_!” Sefa ordered.

Merlin yelled over the commotion, because of course everyone had to have their say. “It’s really small in here! It’s really big and open out there! Don’t you see? There’s a world and I’m missing it. I just want to go watch the world for a bit while I still have the chance to appreciate it in this state of mind.”

Arthur understood now. It was stimulating outside, while inside everything was beige and grey and some kind of diseased yellow. Out there, there was ocean and cars and people and smells and fresh air and all sorts of exciting textures. In here, there was stifling recycled air and suffocating walls.

“I’ll go, too,” Arthur said, getting up.

“I feel better about it since someone is going with him now,” Elena said into Freya’s neck.

Freya chuckled and rubbed Elena’s back. “Me too, Elena.”

“I’m just going right out on the step,” Merlin said, rolling his eyes. “Not like I’m leaving you all forever. But yeah, you can come along if you want, Arthur.”

“Aw, Arthur, you made a friend!” Gwaine said.

“Doesn’t surprise me, considering we’ve been ditching him to hang with the girls all week,” Percival added. “Poor bloke had no choice but to look to Merlin for company. And hey, that’s a lot better than complaining. You’ve been so great about it, and I just realised! Arthur, mate, you’re really awesome, you know that?”

Leon started giggling so hard he had to hold his stomach. Lance gasped and got wide-eyed.

“Oh my God, I haven’t even been thinking about you, Arthur!” Lance exclaimed. “I mean I’ve been thinking about you, but not the fact that you’re alone and not that often.”

Sefa elbowed Leon in the ribs, but she was laughing as well, and even Arthur had to bite his lip to keep a straight face. He then had to remind himself exactly _why_ it wasn’t a good idea to tell them all he’d found the perfect cock to suit his needs, and that he wasn’t nearly as deprived as they thought him to be.

“It’s fine,” he forced out. “No hard feelings.”

He couldn’t keep the laughter in for long, though. He was still bent over and chuckling as he and Merlin walked out the door, into the cooler night air.

Merlin was laughing as well, though not nearly as hard. By the time they were both sitting on the porch railing, legs dangling over the side, they’d gone quiet.

Arthur didn’t know how long they just sat there. It felt like an eternity passed, just watching all the cars go by, hearing the steady rocking of the tide when all else was silent, the murmur of voices from behind them, looking at the twinkling stars up in the sky. Any little thing was endlessly fascinating, opened Arthur’s eyes to the magnificence of life, and he felt like he had a purpose, a goal, something brilliant that he was meant to do, that only _he_ could do, and no one else. He thought maybe he had an epiphany, that everyone was born for a reason, that if he hadn’t passed by a certain girl at school one day or skipped breakfast another day, his whole life would’ve been different. It was because of each tiny decision that his life was the way it was now, and even at that very moment he was making decisions, the decision to sit there and float beside Merlin. He’d made the decision to stay in _this_ house, for _this_ week, in _this_ city, and that was how he’d met Merlin in the first place.

“I’m in the mood for an adventure,” Merlin said suddenly.

Arthur snapped his head up, turning to look at Merlin with wide eyes. Merlin was staring back at him waiting for a reply like Arthur was about to spout the secrets of the universe.

“So am I.”

Merlin’s tongue darted out as he licked his lips. “What if we just...started walking...and let our feet take us somewhere?”

“We’d be exploring.”

“We’d be adventurists.”

It sounded like a good idea. Honestly, anything sounded like a good idea at that moment. Arthur tried to tell himself to think reasonably though.

“What if we get lost?”

“You have your mobile, right? And I have you,” Merlin said, taking Arthur’s hand. “As long as we have each other, we’ll be fine.”

Arthur laughed. “That sounds so stupid.”

But he liked the feeling of Merlin’s hand in his. It felt like he’d been missing something before, a piece he hadn’t even known he’d been missing, and Merlin’s hand filled it in. Or like he was one end of a necklace chain, hanging uselessly, and Merlin’s hand in his clasped them together. With Merlin, Arthur was whole. He went full circle, became what he was meant to be, and was complete.

As long as Arthur had Merlin, he’d be fine.

“And kind of true,” Arthur finished.

Merlin grinned, his smile stretching wide enough to make his dimples appear, and Arthur burst with happiness at being the one to have brought that smile to that face. Merlin was beautiful and radiant because of something _Arthur_ had said. It was perfect.

Pure bliss.

“Let’s go,” Merlin said.

He slid off the railing onto the ground below, and Arthur was forced to follow, being so attached to him. Maybe Merlin had a direction in mind already, or maybe he just didn’t care where they went; either way, Arthur walked after him, and started running when Merlin picked up speed.

☼ ☼ ☼

It felt like what Arthur thought flying would be like. They’d run, hands remaining joined for fear of losing each other, and dodge the blurs that resembled people. They’d stop every so often to catch their breath, which usually resulted in making eye contact and breaking into giggles, then they’d be off again, Arthur following Merlin down whatever street, toward whatever direction Merlin chose.

He could tell Merlin was just as light and free as he was, because every time Merlin smiled, it seemed to be from the depths of his soul. There was still the looming knowledge that the night would eventually end, that things wouldn’t be this amazing forever, but it didn’t seem so important in that moment. There was only hope and happiness and joy. They had each other now—why ruin things by thinking about when they _wouldn’t_ have each other?

Finally, it got to the point where Arthur couldn’t run anymore. His legs were too tired, his throat was too dry, and his lungs felt like they needed more than just a five minute break. Maybe an hour break.

“Let’s stop,” he panted.

Merlin looked over his shoulder as he slowed to a stop. “Okay. We can lay down there.”

Merlin pointed to a what looked like a black mound in the dark, but upon closer inspection was just a grassy knoll by the beach, where sand met rock, cliff, and grass. It looked comfortable enough to Arthur, so he walked the short distance across the street and partially down the slope with Merlin until they reached it.

Arthur more or less plopped down beside Merlin, letting his arse take most of the force of his fall. Merlin sat down with much more coordination, putting his arms out first, and easing himself onto the grass.

Somehow Arthur ended up on his back. Or maybe he’d started out that way, having fallen completely the first time. Either way, he lay on his back next to Merlin, looking up at the stars again, and wondered once more whether each speck of light was its own sun.

He didn’t notice that Merlin’s hands were in his hair until they had to have been there a while. It was almost as though Merlin’s fingers were just an extension of himself, like another person grew out of the top of Arthur’s head and was attached only by the hand. He felt Merlin’s fingers carding through his hair, massaging his scalp at times, but he also felt like he could feel the rest of Merlin’s body as well, like he had access to all of Merlin just from that single port. He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the waves as he floated on the grassy mound, with warm little animals running through his hair. It was so soothing. Like nothing Arthur had ever felt before.

“Your hair is so soft,” Merlin said. He spoke in almost a whisper, like he was telling Arthur a secret and was afraid someone would overhear.

Arthur turned his head, looking at Merlin. Merlin still appeared as happy as Arthur felt, eyes lazily taking in Arthur’s face, lips curled up in a slight grin. Arthur smiled back at him as he indulged in the feeling of Merlin’s petting him again.

He didn’t realise until his hand was already by Merlin’s face that he’d reached out to touch. He brushed the back of his knuckles across Merlin’s cheek, back and forth over a cheekbone.

“Your face is soft,” he said.

Merlin burst into giggles, and Arthur couldn’t help but do the same. It _had_ sounded rather ridiculous in retrospect, saying Merlin’s face was soft.

The sound of Merlin’s joy was even better than the sight by itself. Arthur could see the crinkle of Merlin’s eyes and the little scrunch of his nose and the dimples that were all too noticeable now. But it was Merlin’s laugh that added to everything as well, made it all come together in perfect harmony. When Merlin’s laugh faded into giggles, then ended with a happy sigh, Arthur was still looking at him, into Merlin’s eyes that seemed to be filled with the stars overhead, reflected in the twin blue orbs.

“Do you wanna know what happened in Barcelona?”

Arthur didn’t know where it came from, but that’s what came out of his mouth. Maybe the Barcelona thing was just another way to prove to Merlin that he trusted him, or that he considered him a special part of his life now. Maybe it was just the fact that Arthur was still incredibly high.

Merlin chuckled once, his hand fluttering from Arthur’s hair to tug on Arthur’s ear before going back up. “Sure.”

Arthur turned his face back to the sky and tried to remember clearly. “There was this girl. A street performer. She played a flute, or...or something like a flute. Maybe it was an oboe or clarinet. Anyway, that’s not the important part.”

Merlin laughed again at the digression, giving the roots of Arthur’s hair a gentle pull.

“She made these eyes at Lance,” Arthur continued. “You know, obviously flirting. So we all elbowed him and told him to go for it because she was ridiculously fit. There was a bit of talking, but you know how friendly Lance is, so it didn’t take much. She ended up coming with us, just hanging around and speaking Spanish to people we passed. She even managed to get us a discount at this one restaurant,” Arthur added, laughing.

“What was wrong with her?” Merlin asked.

“Shh, I’m getting there.”

“Ahaha, okay.”

“She came back to the hotel with us. Lance and her started kissing, so we told them to take it to the bedroom. Lance looked positively horrified,” Arthur said. He could recall Lance’s dumbstruck face even now. “He worried that she’d be offended or something.”

“Sounds about like Lance.”

“Yeah. But she was just sitting there smiling, so apparently that was good enough for him. They left us and then maybe five, ten minutes later we heard Lance yelling. And you know Lance, he’s not the yelling type. So obviously we all went rushing in to see what was wrong.”

“Oh God, here it comes,” Merlin said, already snickering.

Arthur chortled a little too, unable to help himself. “The girl had her top off, yeah? And Lance was just standing there with his hands over his eyes going ‘No, no, no.’”

Arthur started giggling again, and couldn’t go on. Merlin had to nudge him.

“What happened?”

“Yeah, Gwaine asked the same thing. What happened. And Lance said...in this tone of utter disbelief...’She’s twelve. She’s fucking twelve!’”

Merlin guffawed along with Arthur. Arthur felt like he was drifting on a wave, and wondered if he’d somehow slipped into the ocean. He didn’t feel wet though, so he had to still be on dry land. And there _was_ a firm bit of ground on his back.

Oh. He hadn’t slipped into ocean.

“That’s crazy!” Merlin exclaimed.

“I know, I know. But then Gwaine said, ‘Mate, it’s okay. She’s old enough to give consent here.’”

“Oh my God, Gwaine would.”

“The best part is that Lance actually uncovered his eyes and said, ‘Really?’ _Lance_ did! And I swear he looked hopeful!”

“What!”

Merlin broke into snorting laughter again, and Arthur could tell that Merlin was seeing it in his head just as he was, Lance’s face, the young girl half-dressed and looking from person to person.

“So did they?” Merlin asked.

Arthur shook his head. “No. Leon—you know, he knows everything—said Spain increased the age of consent just recently. To sixteen. So then Lance wailed—I swear, he wailed—and put his hands over his eyes again, screaming ‘Get out, get out, get out!””

Arthur giggled through his next sentence. “And the girl—the girl—she just said, ‘Por favor, por favor, eres guapo,’ or whatever, I dunno Spanish. She was begging—like puppy eyes and everything _begging_ —for Lance to fuck her! It was the funniest thing I ever saw.”

Merlin had started cracking up after Arthur’s poor rendition of Spanish, and Arthur let himself give in to his laughter after he finished speaking. When both of them finally settled down enough to talk again, Arthur realised he still felt Merlin’s fingers in his hair. He thought they’d gone, but it was nice knowing they were still there.

“I can see why he doesn’t want Gwen to know,” Merlin said. “Not that Gwen would get too upset over it, considering she’s blinded by love.”

Arthur chuckled. “Can you believe them? They’re seventeen and acting like they want to spend the rest of their lives together. How does a seventeen-year-old know if they really love someone or if that love isn’t just infatuation?”

Arthur’s question seemed light enough until the silence dragged on and Merlin didn’t say anything. The words were left hanging in the air, echoing in their minds, making everything between them suddenly deep and meaningful.

Arthur didn’t have to turn his head to know Merlin was looking at him. Merlin’s hand on top of Arthur was still a port that allowed for connection in every way, like Arthur could read his mind. But because he wanted to see Merlin again, he turned to face him anyway.

He instantly felt better, looking into Merlin’s eyes. He was warm, content, thrumming with pure happiness all the way to the tips of his toes. Merlin’s voice, low and smooth and as honey-laced as always, made Arthur feel even greater.

“Sometimes,” Merlin said, “if it’s the right person, and it’s meant to be...I think you’ll just know.”

Bursts of starlight erupted in Merlin’s eyes, until the white flecks sprinkled amongst the sea blue swirled into a creamy silver, until it wasn’t a galaxy Arthur could see in Merlin’s eyes but the moon. Two chrome disks stared back at Arthur, and for a moment it looked like Merlin was an alien.

Then Merlin blinked and was normal again.

Arthur stroked Merlin’s cheek again, pleased to find that his hand hadn’t travelled far, as he needed only reach up a bit.

“That’s ridiculously sappy, Merlin.”

Merlin chuckled and looked away. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

Arthur still had a finger tracing the planes of Merlin’s jaw. He moved it in an arc, a sweeping motion from angled jaw to chin, and when a fingertip brushed Merlin’s lower lip, Merlin’s eyes darted back up again. Arthur hadn’t even realised what he was doing until Merlin caught him.

Probably they both moved at the same time, but Arthur wasn’t sure who moved first. He knew that one moment he was staring at Merlin’s lips and the next he was kissing them. He knew that every touch caused a ripple through his body, that a hand scraping up his back felt just as good as a jab of Merlin’s knee into his thigh. His sense of touch went wild, everything too much and not enough at once, everything turned up as high as it could go.

They’d kissed passionately before. They’d kissed slowly, hurriedly, chastely, messily. They’d kissed while fucking, holding hands, holding each other. They’d kissed a lot. It wasn’t something new.

But this _was_ new. It felt like the best kind of falling. It felt like stepping off a cliff, knowing there was no way to climb back up. Arthur wasn’t an explorer of just physical boundaries, hadn’t just run off into the night; he was exploring human boundaries, the fourth dimension, the astral plane where nothing made sense and where rationality was a foreign concept. He ventured deep into the unknown, the welcoming darkness, with Merlin beside him.

Arthur fell in love.

The only thing that was familiar was the rolling around, because of course Merlin felt the need to be on top. However, even that was more significant somehow, and Arthur felt a little light-headed.

He did know who brought hands further into the equation first—that was definitely Merlin, worming his nimble fingers beneath the hem of Arthur’s pants and palming his cock. The moan most likely came from his own throat, but when Arthur rolled his hips forward at the same time, it resulted in a slide of Arthur’s thigh over something hot and stiff, so Merlin could have made the noise just as easily.

That’s when everything seemed to skyrocket. Arthur undid his shorts, just enough to shove them down along with his pants, and suddenly Merlin’s hand was gripping his cock in earnest, pulling and tugging like he was trying to take it off. Arthur squeezed his eyes shut at how brilliant it felt, and moaned in broken sobs as he jerked forward into Merlin’s hand.

He snapped his eyes open when the touch left, and saw immediately that the reason was Merlin pushing his own pants down, baring his gorgeous cock next to Arthur’s in the moonlight. Without a moment’s hesitation, Merlin thrust his hips forward, bringing himself flush against Arthur and rutting into him with reckless abandon. It wasn’t the farthest they’d gone with each other, but it felt as spectacular as all the other times, maybe even better.

And they’d never been so loud as they were now. With no one this far down the beach this late, it was just the two of them, alone in the black expanse of night under the starry sky. Neither of them held back anything, and Arthur wasn’t sure if he could even if tried.

He did try at one point. He bit his lip, bit his tongue, put his knuckles in his mouth—he did everything to try to keep quiet. It didn’t work; if he wasn’t rambling, he was moaning or gasping or making some other wrecked noise that sounded utterly filthy to his own ears but that he couldn’t stop. Eventually—since apparently Merlin wasn’t trying very hard to keep quiet either—Arthur just gave up. He was too high to be embarrassed at this point.

“Fuck, fuck, Merlin, nnghyeah, so fucking good, ah, come on—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah!“

They were on their sides now, rocking against each other nearly hard enough to hurt in all the areas that weren’t important. Knees and elbows and shoulders bumped a little painfully, but it didn’t matter because thighs and stomachs and cocks and lips were pressing together in all the right ways, sometimes a little rough, sometimes a little sweaty, and always desperate, always with the need to finish as quickly as possible.

However, even this was familiar, this frantic frotting and thirst for friction. The only thing different now, the thing that made the moment explode with star-bright importance and meaning, was that it was no longer just wanting. Arthur knew—or maybe he was just finally acknowledging—that he didn’t just want Merlin; he needed him. He needed Merlin close, needed to be with him always and never let him go because—

“I love you.” Arthur panted it into Merlin’s neck like a prayer, trembling with how close he was to coming. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

He felt Merlin’s leg curl over his thigh, and suddenly Merlin was beneath him, had somehow rolled their bodies just enough for Arthur to be on top. Merlin’s spine arched, his hips remaining perfectly aligned with Arthur’s, and he went tense, body going taut and still as a final moan was torn from his throat.

Arthur knew Merlin had come because he felt it hot and sticky between them. With one last jerk of his hips forward, cock sliding against the rough skin of Merlin’s abdomen, Arthur pushed himself over the edge. He curled his fingers in the dirt beside him as he throbbed, each pulsing wave taking some of his breath away.

Arthur had the coherence not to crush Merlin, but didn’t quite have enough not to fall on top of him altogether. He ended up half sprawled over Merlin’s body, the other half landing in the grass.

Arthur had only been lying there a moment before he felt Merlin pulling at him again, tugging on his arm. He raised his head to see what Merlin wanted now.

Merlin wanted to kiss him. He pressed their lips together again, so quickly that it took Arthur by surprise. But not an unpleasant one; Arthur reciprocated as soon as he realised what was happening, and slid a hand up Merlin’s shirt over the hard planes of his chest.

 _This is so much better on molly,_ Arthur thought giddily. It felt as though there were melting into one being when they did this normally; now the sensation was even more real, and Arthur truly couldn’t figure out where he ended and Merlin began. He was spinning and happy and sated and so at peace with everything that nothing could bring him down.

“Mmm,” Merlin moaned as he finally pulled away. He ran his fingers through Arthur’s hair and grinned up at him. “I dunno if it’s possible to fall in love in just five days, but...I love you, too.”

Part of Arthur’s brain registered that if it were any other time, he’d start feeling horrible right about now. But it didn’t matter in this state of mind. The thought flew by. Why waste time feeling sad about what will happen later when everything was so perfect at that moment?

“Does it feel like infatuation to you?” Merlin asked curiously.

Arthur shook his head, then because he suddenly felt he couldn’t prop himself up on his elbows a second longer, he let his head fall to Merlin’s shoulder. It was a little bony, but firm and warm, and soft from Merlin’s shirt.

“No,” Arthur said. “Feels like I’ll want it forever.”

It felt natural and right to curl an arm around Merlin’s body. While he was at it, he pulled up Merlin’s pants a bit as well, just enough to cover his cock since the ocean breeze was quickly reminding him that they were outside.

“Me, too,” Merlin said. “I wish we could stay in Avalon. I want to live just like this all the time, with our friends and alcohol and music. I don’t want to ever leave.”

Arthur smiled at the thought of staying in Avalon for the rest of his life. He knew things wouldn’t _really_ stay the same. He knew he’d get older eventually, maybe put on a bit of weight around the waist, maybe lose the square shape of his jaw and get multiple chins like most old people. But in his head, he was seventeen forever, him and Merlin and everyone else. Late nights, macaroni cheese dinners, no work, no school, just partying all the time.

“Yeah.”

He didn’t want to leave either. He wanted to know where Merlin was going to uni. He made up his mind right then and there, that he’d make things work. Maybe they’d get married like Lance and Gwen, or maybe Arthur could just give up the stupid school his father was making him go to and go wherever Merlin was going. Anything seemed like a fine idea, as long as it meant never being away from Merlin again.

Arthur wasn’t tired; he still felt a bit buzzed from the molly, but he didn’t feel like going anywhere any time soon. He shuffled down a little and moved his head to Merlin’s chest, reaching behind him to grab Merlin’s arm and pull it over his side.

“Hold me,” he said.

“So demanding,” Merlin teased, ruffling Arthur’s hair. He didn’t object though, and wrapped his arm more firmly around Arthur.

Arthur could hear Merlin’s heartbeat. He could feel it thudding against his cheek, like a steady backbeat to life. He could hear the crashing waves from the beach, like a melody from which everything else in the world sprung. He could hear the summer breeze just faintly, feel it brush over his skin, like the final piece that tied everything together.

He felt Merlin’s fingers in his hair, uniting him with the most important thing in the world.

And it was pure bliss.


	7. Day 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. 'Pooh?' he whispered.  
> 'Yes, Piglet?'  
> 'Nothing,' said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. 'I just wanted to be sure of you.'"
> 
> \- A. A. Milne

Arthur woke up because he was sore. The left side of his body had gone so numb that it tingled painfully when he moved, and on top of that, he felt sweaty and dirty and just all-around terrible.

He soon discovered that the source of heat wasn’t just the sun on his back; it was Merlin, still ignorantly sleeping beneath him. It was much too hot outside for sleeping curled up like this, and Arthur peeled himself away in disgust.

Then he looked around at the grassy mound they’d fallen asleep on and thought, _Oh_ _shit_.

The others were probably beyond worried. And what had he been thinking just running off with Merlin like that? What would the others think when they noticed both he and Merlin had never come back? Would they jump to conclusions or believe the relationship was strictly platonic...?

Arthur only felt worse when he realised he had no idea where they were. And it looked like it was going to rain. Fuck.

“Merlin, wake up,” Arthur said, shaking Merlin roughly. “We have to go back.”

Merlin eyes slid halfway open slowly, then flew the rest of the way once he noticed they were outside. He sat up and looked around a few seconds, eyes wide, then exhaled in one long breath.

“Fuck.”

“Do you know where we are?”

Merlin looked at him like he was mad. “Why the hell would I know?”

“Because you’ve been here the whole summer? Surely you know your way around.”

“I have no fucking _clue_ where we are.”

Arthur sighed. “Shit. Okay.”

He was pretty sure he had his mobile on him, and patted his pockets. He felt a wave of relief when he felt the reassuring rectangular at his side, and quickly pulled it out. He had a GPS on his phone, if they could just use that...

First, he had to address the numerous messages and missed calls, let the others know they were alright. He opened a message from Leon and started typing in a reply when a notification interrupted him.

“Shit.”

“What? Is it dead?”

“Nearly. Do you have yours?”

Merlin patted himself down but then looked back up. “No. I don’t think I brought it with me.”

“Shit.”

“We can just ask someone for directions or a map, yeah?”

Arthur nodded. “Yeah, alright.”

He got to his feet, Merlin doing the same beside him, and that’s when he noticed the state of Merlin’s shirt. Just as he raised a finger to point out the dried come, Merlin raised his, apparently doing the same.

Arthur still felt terrible, but looking down at his top, all he could do was chuckle. And it wasn’t just come on the cotton fabric; it was dirt and small blades of grass and one widespread sweat stain. He’d be better off removing it altogether.

“Shirtless then?” Arthur suggested.

Merlin nodded and started taking off his shirt, and Arthur did the same. He also followed Merlin’s lead in folding it into a neat square before shoving it as deep as he could into his pocket. He brushed the dirt off his shorts and put his mobile back into his other pocket.

They seemed to have run a long way, because walking back to the road, Arthur didn’t see many people around. It appeared to be the deserted part of Avalon, the far end of the beach town where no one had any reason to go. There were a few shops, but they looked mostly empty or closed.

They were lucky enough to find a bus stop not far off, though. Arthur walked up to it, and exhaled in relief when he found the “you are here” circle on the route map. He started looking for a bus schedule, but then remembered he didn’t have his wallet, and doubted Merlin did either.

“Looks like the house is here,” Merlin said, pointing on the map. “We could go...” He traced a path with his finger, from their indicated location back to the street at which they were staying. “Like that?”

“Can you remember that?”

“Uh...I can try.”

Arthur sighed. “Guess we both better study it a few minutes, since my phone’s as good as dead and can’t take a photo.”

“Yeah.”

Arthur tried committing the street names and turns to memory, counting the crossroads and forming a digital picture in his mind. When he figured he just about had it, and couldn’t force the image into his head any further no matter how bad he wanted to, he tugged Merlin’s wrist and started walking.

As soon as they left the bus stop, there was a roll of thunder. Arthur glanced at the sky and hoped the rain would hold out a bit longer. The clouds looked dark and foreboding and Arthur didn’t like the look of them at all. It was sure to be a downpour.

Merlin didn’t seem to care, humming contentedly beside him. Arthur was a little confused; the comedown from molly was always a bitch for him, made him feel like he wanted to curl up and die. He didn’t feel quite that bad now, but he certainly wasn’t in the humming mood. How the hell did Merlin seem to be immune to the aftereffects?

Shaking his head and continuing on, Arthur decided it didn’t matter. He couldn’t think about last night anyway, not when the memories would be too painful in his current state of mind.

He needed a distraction, something more than staring up at passing street signs looking for the next turn.

“Do you really play violin?”

Merlin looked not just surprised by the question, but surprised that Arthur had spoken at all. He gave Arthur a puzzled look before replying.

“Yes...Why would I lie about that? Do you really have a sister?”

“Yes.”

“Did she leave school recently, too?”

“No. She’s six years older. Married now.” But Arthur didn’t really like thinking about it, since it led to thoughts about his brother-in-law, Val. Homophobic twat.

“Oh.” Merlin was quiet was three more steps, then said, “Arthur?”

Great, Arthur felt the first rain drop fall on his shoulder. So much for holding out ‘til home.

He sighed. “Yeah?”

“Did you mean what you said last night or was it just the molly?”

Arthur stopped, turning to face Merlin, and Merlin stopped with him. He reminded himself to breathe and took a deep breath.

He didn’t have to think very long. Even if last night’s memories were hazy, he could find his answer just by looking in Merlin’s eyes. He’d meant every bit of what he’d said, and he knew there was no going back. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for this conversation yet, but the only way out of the situation was through.

“I meant it.”

“You love me?”

Arthur dropped his eyes. “I...Yes.”

He turned and started walking again, fast enough for the rain to pelt his skin. Merlin kept up easily, using his long stride to his advantage.

“What are we going to do?” Merlin asked. “I’m going to St Andrews a couple weeks after I get back.”

Maybe it was from the comedown-depression or maybe Arthur would’ve reacted the same way regardless, but it was like he could physically feel his heart sink. He could feel it twist in his chest and cause an ache so painful it spread through his whole body.

“I’m going to Oxford,” he managed around the lump in his throat.

Definitely the post-molly depression then. There was no way he’d have to hold back tears in this situation otherwise.

Merlin sighed. “I figured as much. I’ll be all the way up in Scotland.”

“We can visit each other or...or something.”

Fuck, Arthur didn’t know. He couldn’t think about it right now, it hurt too much right now. The thought of Merlin being anywhere that wasn’t with him...

He’d only just met the boy! It wasn’t supposed to hurt this much!

He made the mistake of glancing sideways at Merlin. Merlin was staring at him with obvious pain in his eyes, and the rain on his face looked like tears.

“There’ll hardly be time,” Merlin said, voice strained. “We’ll both be so wrapped in courses and settling in and it’s going to be hell.”

That was it. Arthur was already able to feel the impending separation making his chest heavy. He might’ve been about to make the stupidest decision of his life, but at that moment, nothing else mattered.

“I’ll take a gap year—No, I’ll transfer. I’ll convince my father that Oxford is too challenging for me or that the pressure’s too much—”

“Arthur—”

“And that I should go somewhere like St Andrews.”

“Arthur, you’d be changing your whole life for some bloke you met a week ago. Not _even_ a week ago!”

Arthur stopped and turned to him again. “Would you do the same?”

“I...I guess so. Yes, I would. I want to, believe me, I applied to Oxford. But—”

“If I can get into Oxford, I can get into St. Andrews.”

The problem wasn’t transferring; the problem was convincing his father to pay for it. Arthur didn’t think about that now, though. He’d deal with that when the time came.

“But...I don’t know, this seems wrong,” Merlin said. “This is worse than what Gwen and Lance have planned.”

“How? Transferring schools? I’d just fail at Oxford anyway because I’d be missing you all the time. The one term will be bad enough.”

Arthur didn’t mean to let out such an overly sentimental truth, but there was no taking it back now. He only hoped Merlin didn’t tease him for it.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Arthur. It just seems that way now. Once you get there, and get caught up in coursework, it’ll be easy to take your mind off it.”

No, it wouldn’t. There would be couples walking around and Arthur would glare at them, remembering the feeling of Merlin’s skin like a ghost lover’s touch. He wouldn’t be able to concentrate and he’d be constantly worried of Merlin losing interest in him. It would keep him up at night.

“And you shouldn’t give up the chance,” Merlin continued. “You’d be able to say you graduated from Oxford. I’m not letting you throw that away just for me.”

Arthur groaned. “Merlin, you don’t get it. I never cared about Oxford in the first place. I never really wanted to go there anyway. It was my father’s idea. And it’s not like St. Andrews is a bad school.”

He took Merlin’s hand and looked into Merlin’s eyes earnestly, feeling like he was revealing everything of himself at that one pinnacle moment.

“I want this,” he said. “Maybe it’s stupid and reckless and I’ll regret it, or maybe it’ll be the best decision of my life. It’s a chance I’m willing to take. Don’t you want this, too?”

Merlin looked closer to tears than ever, and Arthur wasn’t sure if the raindrops dripping down his face _weren’t_ tears.

“Arthur, you know I do. After Edwin...Of course I want this.”

“Good.”

Arthur kept hold of Merlin’s hand and let himself be reassured by the small squeeze as he began walking again. The rain was practically soaking them by now, but Arthur’s mind was on what just happened. He couldn’t believe he’d done that.

It felt weird. He was worried that he was making a terrible decision. But it also felt kind of liberating. There’d be a term without Merlin, but then they could be together forever.

Wow. Forever. What had he just done?

A strike of lightning made them both jump, and it was followed by a gust of wind that made Merlin stumble forward. Arthur laughed as he pulled Merlin upright.

“You’re so skinny, the wind literally almost knocked you over,” he taunted.

“Oh, shut up.”

The wind let up a little as they walked on, but it was still strong enough to make their shorts billow out and bend the trees. Arthur was even a bit cold, and considered wearing his shirt inside out.

It wasn’t like there were any people around to see. Everyone seemed to be indoors out of the rain. It was eerie.

“Think there’s a hurricane coming or something?” Arthur asked when they turned at the next crossroads and saw just as few people hurrying along the pavement.

When Merlin didn’t reply, Arthur looked over and saw him frowning deep in thought.

Then Merlin asked a question that made Arthur stop breathing completely.

“Are you going to tell your friends now?”

Arthur bought himself some time before answering by pushing his dripping fringe out of his face. “Why would I do that?”

Merlin halted, forcing Arthur to stop with him, and Arthur felt his heart jump into his throat when he saw the stricken, angry expression on Merlin’s face.

“Why the fuck not?”

The wind whipped at Merlin’s hair, blowing it sideways, and suddenly his eyes weren’t the clear sea blue Arthur was used to, but the same dark, stormy, blue-grey as the sky. Of everything Arthur had just put on the line for Merlin, this conversation seemed to be more important than the last.

Arthur tread carefully. “They don’t need to know.”

Merlin let go of Arthur’s hand as though it were on fire and gaped at Arthur in hurt disbelief. “They’ve laughed at me the whole week! I’ve endured the names and the off-hand remarks and you’ve said nothing, _done_ nothing but let it happen!”

“It never seemed to bother you before.”

Arthur cringed as soon as the words left his mouth. That hadn’t been the right thing to say and he knew it.

Merlin’s nostrils flared in anger. “That was before you said you loved me.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, taking a deep breath, “it doesn’t matter anyway. The week’s almost over.”

“You’ll change your whole life around for me but you won’t come out to your friends? What kind of sense does that make?”

“In a few weeks I’ll never see any of them again. It won’t matter, like I said. I don’t see what the big deal is.”

The truth was that Arthur didn’t want to leave them with the memory that he’d lied to them for so long, to end things on a bad note. He wanted them to remember him as they’d always seen him, not as a lying cocksucker who was supposedly their best mate, but as the funny, charming bloke they liked hanging around with. The image they held of him was golden, and he didn’t want to sully that.

Merlin crossed his arms. “Is that really true?” he asked. “Maybe that would’ve been the case ages ago, but now there’s Facebook and Twitter and everything. Do you really think it’ll be so easy to lose touch, to never speak to them again without a good reason?”

“I barely use that stuff anyway, and I can just delete it.”

“Either way, it’ll be impossible to hide forever. And if they’re really your friends, they’ll accept you for—”

Arthur stopped him right there. “You don’t understand,” he insisted, shaking his head in frustration. “You’re surrounded by people who support you, whereas I have to deal with people who’d hate me if they knew the truth. My father, my sister’s husband, my friends. As soon as I get away, I’ll be free to be who I am.”

Like he was with Merlin. He’d be free to be happy.

Merlin shoved him against the side of a building, and Arthur was taken so off-guard that it actually hurt his back a bit, expelling breath from his lungs. He couldn’t believe Merlin had pushed him.

“What—”

“You have no idea what my life was like before you met me,” Merlin snapped. “You don’t know what I went through, or what things were said and done to me. You don’t know my last name or my birthday or my favourite colour. All you know is what I’ve shown of myself here and that I like my cock up your arse.”

“So what are you saying? You don’t think I know you well enough to love you?”

Even though that hadn’t been part of the conversation, that’s what it sure sounded like Merlin was saying.

Merlin shook his head. “No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m saying that just like you’re making assumptions about my life, you’re making assumptions about how others will react.”

“No way, Val has made it quite clear what he thinks of people like me. And my father would be disgusted if he found out.”

“Okay, but we’re not talking about your father and whoever Val is. We’re talking about your friends, about Lance, Gwaine, and Percival.”

Arthur gave up trying to be tactful, because Merlin just wasn’t getting the message. “Merlin, forget it! I’m not telling them and that’s that!”

Arthur didn’t expect Merlin to make a grab for him again, but this time he saw it coming, and was able to deflect the blow to his chest. However, Merlin just countered it by latching onto Arthur’s arms instead, digging his nails in when the rain made everything too slippery to hold on otherwise.

“ _Mer_ lin!”

“No, Arthur! I’m fucking done. I’ve had it. I’m not going along with your stupid lies anymore.”

Arthur wrenched free of Merlin’s grip, but hesitated actually pushing back. The wind was still going strong, and if it alone had nearly knocked Merlin over, a push would just help it send Merlin sprawling over the ground. He didn’t want to actually hurt Merlin, no matter that it seemed Merlin was intent on hurting him.

Arthur’s hesitation cost him. Merlin grabbed Arthur’s shoulders and pushed him into a side street, more of an alley really, where at least the few other unlucky people caught in the storm couldn’t see them. Arthur yelled over the rumbling thunder, but even at such close proximity it seemed his voice got lost in the wind.

“Merlin!”

Arthur told himself that he was letting Merlin push him further into the alley so they could argue out of sight of the public, but in truth, he wasn’t sure. There was something different about Merlin angry like this, shoving Arthur around with that determined, almost dangerous spark in his eye. Something powerful.

“Do you know how long I’ve let people push me around, Arthur?” Merlin shouted over the rain as Arthur’s back finally hit what felt like a brick wall. “Always little passive aggressive Merlin, always the object and not the subject, always being acted on and never doing the acting. Avalon was my chance to try changing that before uni, but then your sodding friends had to go and throw me right back to where I was. I didn’t tell them your stupid secret because I’m a nice fucking person, but you know what? I’m done being nice. I’m telling _everyone_.”

“Merlin—”

“I know you think they’ll hate you, but they won’t. And even if they do, then good fucking riddance. I’m not sure I care anymore after what you put me through.”

No, that wasn’t Merlin at all. Merlin wasn’t vengeful. Merlin was...He was good and pure and bright and happy. At least Arthur thought he was. He wasn’t sure what to believe now that Merlin had pointed out how little he actually knew.

The Merlin in front of him now was like all the previously angry Merlins in one. The brows drawn together, the set of the jaw...It looked like Merlin seriously wanted to hurt him.

Was it the aftereffects of the molly? Maybe Merlin felt just as bad as Arthur and it was making his emotions spike. Maybe Merlin didn’t really mean any of what he said, wasn’t actually going to tell everyone Arthur’s secret.

But with the way Merlin was holding him to the wall, arms corded with straining muscles, Arthur couldn’t be sure. And the comedown from something like molly could last for _days_. If Merlin was still in this mood by the time they got back...

“Fucking say something!” Merlin yelled, knocking Arthur against the wall again. “Are you gonna tell them, or will I have to tell them myself?”

Arthur grunted at the pain that flared across his shoulder blades, and opened his mouth to snap at Merlin (or maybe to beg Merlin to be reasonable, he didn’t know), but then he realised how hard Merlin’s grip was, how close together they were, how entirely strong Merlin was in that moment, and suddenly Arthur couldn’t focus.

“Merlin, just...just take a few steps back, okay?” Arthur breathed. “Let’s just calm down and talk about this rationally.”

“I’m being perfectly rational. It’s you who’s being irrational.”

“I’m not having this conversation in the middle of a bloody storm!”

“Then I guess I know what conversation we’ll be having with your mates when we get back.”

“ _Merlin_ —”

“No!” Merlin screamed, pushing Arthur against the wall once more. “I love you, Arthur, but I’m not letting you do this to me. I’m not the only cocksucker in the house and I don’t intend to be mocked anymore as though I am. It’s not fair.”

Arthur barely heard Merlin’s words over the crackling thunder, but he did hear them. The lightning flashing in Merlin’s eyes just drove the point home even further, Merlin’s fury reflected in his pupils, and Arthur felt simultaneously guilty and turned on. His stomach sank with the weight of Merlin’s accusation, and his cock had already begun hardening from being pinned so forcefully. It was quickly becoming more so as Merlin continued staring at him, fingers digging firmly into his shoulders.

It was neither the time nor the place, and Arthur wanted to kill his body at that moment. Confident and cheeky Merlin had been bad enough, had always done something to stir up a reaction between Arthur’s legs. Merlin like this was something else entirely.

Arthur swallowed and just tried to breathe, to will away the thoughts of Merlin taking him right here and now, and to focus on the issue: Merlin was going to out him. Arthur had to stop him.

Then Merlin took a step closer, his drenched shorts coming into contact with Arthur’s, and brushing right up against the outlined bulge of Arthur’s cock. At Arthur’s choked off gasp, Merlin’s furrowed brow went from an expression of anger to one of confusion, until of course he looked down and saw for himself what had happened.

“Oh my God, are you fucking kidding me?”

Arthur shut his eyes, mentally running a thousand miles away. He hated his life, he hated the universe, and maybe he’d been wrong about this comedown not being as bad because he definitely wanted to curl up and die right about now.

“This fucking gets you off?” Merlin demanded. “Seeing me angry?”

Arthur opened his eyes to explain himself. “No, Merlin, it’s...I don’t like seeing you angry, I promise. Just forget it. Look, can we please wait until we get inside, somewhere dry—”

Merlin pulled Arthur off the wall before shoving him back again, and Arthur winced as his shoulder blades once more hit the brick behind him. His mind leapt automatically, filling his brain with images of Merlin holding him in place, Merlin fucking him relentlessly against the wall, Merlin grunting in his ear, Merlin grabbing him...

“Huh,” Merlin said, tilting his head. It was the same innocent, curious gesture Arthur had seen time and again, only now it was dangerous. Now it had meaning. “So that’s how this is going to go.”

“What?”

Arthur was too stunned to do anything when Merlin suddenly jerked him forward and spun him around. He was a bit disoriented when the wall was all he could see, and had to put his hands up to get his bearings. When Merlin raised his own hands, pressing Arthur’s flat to the bricks and boxing Arthur in, Arthur could hardly breathe.

“Merlin—”

“This,” Merlin said, “this is how it’s going to go.”

“What the fuck are you on about? Get your hands off me.”

“Make me. You’re stronger.”

“Merlin!”

“Unless you don’t want to. Unless you like it.”

Arthur pushed back, wrenching his hands free of Merlin’s grasp when Merlin was forced a step backward. Before he could turn around, Merlin had shoved him again, hard enough to knock his knees painfully into the wall. Merlin had him pinned nearly flat in just a couple seconds.

Arthur could’ve stopped it, but he didn’t. He knew why he didn’t, and he pressed his forehead to the wall as he closed his eyes in defeat. He could feel Merlin’s breath on the back of his neck, the soaked and dripping fabric of Merlin’s shorts where he stood directly behind him.

“Want me to hurt you?” Merlin whispered in his ear.

Arthur jerked his shoulder back in a violent shrug. “I’m not some fucking sub freak like Freya likes to play with, Merlin! What the hell are you doing?”

Merlin didn’t even address the question. “Oh. You just like it a little rough then.”

Arthur’s cock twitched at the hoarseness in Merlin’s voice, but he opened his eyes and glared back over his shoulder. The rain wasn’t so bad in the alley, wasn’t pouring down on them and pelting their bare skin as it had before, but it was certainly still heavy. It was falling hard enough to bounce a little off Merlin’s shoulders like in had in the shower, to run down his face in lines, dripping from his fringe onto long, thick eyelashes.

His eyes were still that cloudy-blue colour, but now they had an iciness to them. A spark less angry and more devious.

“Like feeling a little helpless, maybe?” Merlin purred when Arthur still only glared.

“It’s hardly the time, Merlin.” Arthur managed to say it evenly, though at the rate his heart was pounding, he’d been worried Merlin would detect a waver in his voice.

Suddenly Arthur felt Merlin pressed against him more than ever, felt the definite shape of a hard cock in the cleft of his arse. He could even feel the heat of it between two layers of wet clothing, and it was all he could do not to roll his hips back into it.

“It’s exactly the time, Arthur.”

“W-We’re outside, in the rain, are you men—Merlin!”

Merlin had Arthur’s shorts down quicker than Arthur could realise what he was doing, and then there Arthur was, naked in the rain with his pants pooled around his ankles. He lowered his hands to reach down and pull them back up, but Merlin just grabbed his wrists and yanked them up again.

“Merlin,” Arthur growled.

Now he was getting angry. It was pouring rain, lightning kept dancing across the sky and reminding Arthur of the danger, they were clearly visible should anyone decide to walk by, and to top it off, there was no bloody _reason_ for this to be happening now. Arthur wasn’t opposed to spontaneous sex by any means, but now? In a storm? In the middle of what Arthur had thought was an argument? Merlin really had lost his mind.

A hand wrapped around Arthur’s cock, forming a loose fist and stroking lightly, teasingly. Arthur let out a shuddered breath as he felt Merlin’s wet hand tugging at him.

Then he felt more than just the heat of an erection in the cleft of his arse. He felt Merlin’s naked cock, as big and tantalising as ever.

“Say it.”

Arthur curled his fingers into fists where he kept them on the wall in front of him. He wouldn’t push his arse back onto Merlin, he wouldn’t let Merlin have the satisfaction, and he definitely wouldn’t say _it._

“Say it,” Merlin repeated, nudging the head of his cock forward.

Arthur bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut, determined not to move.

“Say it and I’ll shove my cock in you.”

 _Oh God, fuck_.

“Why?” Arthur asked, forcing some authority into his voice. “You’ve heard me say it before. Tell me why first. Why now?”

“Because I want to hear it!” Merlin jerked forward, and Arthur couldn’t tell if it was real anger still in his voice, not until Merlin continued. “I want you to admit it, if not to the others, then to me, right now. I want to hear you say how much you like it, how much you want it.”

“And if I say it now will you still want me to tell the others when we get back?”

“If you say it now, we’ll compromise.” Merlin enforced the point by pushing in a bit, just a little further into the wet furrow of Arthur’s arse. Arthur exhaled shakily when he felt Merlin circling the rim of his hole. “You won’t have to tell them yet. I get that it might be awkward the rest of the trip. Might make the flight home a bit tense. But you will tell them when you get back. You’ll tell them about us, you’ll tell them everything.”

There’d still be a few weeks left before Arthur had to leave for Oxford. The term started in October, and if Arthur used that time to get them to understand he was still their friend, it could all work out, couldn’t it?

Merlin’s cock retreated, leaving only the lingering ghost of a sensation, and Arthur pushed back before he thought to stop himself. The hand on his cock disappeared and relocated to his back, shoving him forward.

“What’s your answer?” Merlin demanded.

“If I don’t say it, you won’t fuck me and you’ll tell the others yourself when we get back. If I do say it, you will fuck me and I can wait until I’m back home to tell them myself. Is that right?”

“Yes,” Merlin said, nosing behind Arthur’s ear.

Arthur could see what Merlin was doing now. He was making sure the pros outweighed the cons. He wasn’t letting Arthur tell him what to do anymore, and was taking matters into his own hands.

It would’ve been hot if it weren’t so troublesome.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah.” Arthur inhaled deeply, and let it go when he felt Merlin’s hand slide to his cock again, when he felt Merlin step closer and take up his old position. “I’m gay.”

Merlin breathed in Arthur’s ear, pressing the head of his cock deeper in. Arthur bit his lip and widened the gap between his feet, waiting for Merlin to go all the way.

“And?” Merlin prompted.

“And what?” Now what did Merlin want?

“And what do you like, Arthur?”

“Merlin, you said—”

“And now I’m saying this. You told me once that I wasn’t the only one who could talk dirty. So talk dirty and tell me what you like. Tell me how much you like it.”

Arthur hadn’t meant talking dirty as in confessing anything. He hadn’t meant talking dirty when he was the one in this position. But if it was what Merlin wanted, if it was what would get Merlin to fuck him quicker, get them out of the storm and done with this, Arthur would do it.

“I like being fucked. A lot,” he finished, finally allowing himself to push back. He moaned as he felt Merlin slide in, skin just wet enough not to burn with the entry.

But Merlin didn’t let Arthur take him all the way. Not even what felt like half way. He put a hand to Arthur’s hip and kept Arthur still.

“Merlin,” Arthur whined, clenching the length of cock he’d been allowed. He didn’t care how he sounded now, not when he knew he had Merlin inside him.

“H-How do you like it, Arthur? Tell me how you like it.”

“Hard, Merlin, please—“

“And rough, yeah?”

Arthur exhaled in exasperated frustration. He couldn’t make his mouth say the words, _wouldn’t_ make his mouth say the words. He hardly ever even thought them. It wasn’t that he was ashamed, just that he was extremely embarrassed.

Arthur lost all vision when a hand suddenly clapped over his eyes, blocking everything out.

“Maybe it’ll be easier like this,” Merlin said in his ear. “Pretend I’m not here. Pretend you’re alone, speaking into an empty room. Now, tell me how you like being fucked.”

How the hell was Arthur meant to pretend? He could feel for himself where he was, even if he couldn’t see. He could feel the rain falling on him and Merlin’s cock lodged not nearly deep enough inside and Merlin breathing on the back of his neck. He could feel the wind making him shiver and blowing his hair in every direction.

Merlin shoved his cock a little deeper in, quickly and forcefully, sudden enough to make Arthur grunt at the pleasant shock.

“Tell me, Arthur!”

“I do like feeling helpless,” Arthur gasped. “I like being held down so hard I can barely move. Not tied up, not hurt, nothing like that, just held down.”

He felt his cheeks burning with the confession but made himself go on, and it wasn’t entirely for the purpose of Merlin keeping his secret any longer. Now it was for a purely physical reason.

“Keep going, Arthur.”

“And I...I do like it rough. I want to be fucked hard enough that it makes me scream, hard enough that I won’t be able to walk properly, so hard that I’ll be able to feel it for days, because I need to be reminded of it, because I feel so fucking empty all the time and want it so fucking bad and need something to—”

“Oh, fuck, that’s enough.”

Merlin went the rest of the way, plunging so deep inside that Arthur cried out from the sudden force of it. Merlin’s hand slid up his head, away from his eyes and over his forehead, pushing up his wet fringe and tilting his head back. He used it like an anchor as he thrust in, keeping Arthur held in place so he could fuck at his own frantic pace.

Arthur kept his eyes closed anyway, focusing on the sensations and nothing else, tuning out the sound of thunder and moans and pelting rain and gasps. He thought only of Merlin’s cock slamming in again and again, saw it penetrating him over and over in his mind’s eye, saw how it must have looked, all thick and long, sliding into his greedy open hole, feeding it to him. He felt only the pain-pleasure of it, of the rainwater which wasn’t lube but was just barely good enough, and of the complete and utter lack of a layer between them, of Merlin’s naked skin against the fleshy inner walls of his arse.

Arthur had started off biting his lip to keep from open-mouth moaning, but when Merlin picked up speed he wasn’t getting enough air with his teeth blocking the flow. He figured the rain and thunder was loud enough to drown out the sounds anyway, and no one besides them was mental enough to be outside in the storm.

He gave in to the more base noises, letting loose his wails and sobs of pleasure, whining as he felt himself climbing higher and higher towards his peak, but still he wouldn’t say aloud what was going through his mind, the ‘ _Oh fucking yes’_ and ‘ _Fuck me fuck me fuck me’_ he was mentally chanting in time to Merlin’s thrusts. He was even louder than he’d been the previous night when he’d been high, but that had been all grinding and frottage, whereas now he had what he always wanted, what he never wanted to be without.

He’d told Merlin what he wanted and Merlin had given it to him. Fuck, had he given it to him.

“Do you love it, Arthur?” Merlin asked into the curve of Arthur’s neck as he snapped his hips.

“Y-Yes.” _Yes, yes, God yes, I fucking live for it_.

“Do you love me?”

Arthur reached behind him until he had a handful of Merlin’s hair, and turned his own head to look Merlin in the eyes. He knew his face must have looked absolutely wrecked, because he could feel the way he couldn’t help but push his eyebrows up when Merlin’s cock hit just the right spot. He knew his pleasure was written all over his face and he wanted Merlin to see it.

And when he felt Merlin had stared long enough, he pressed their lips together and kissed him.

“Yeah, Merlin,” Arthur panted between them. “Yeah, I love you.”

“I didn’t—didn’t put a condom on.”

“I know.”

“I’m gonna come.”

“Yeah, I...I know. ”

Arthur was close too, even closer when Merlin’s hand on his cock started stroking faster.

“You know why I had to—had to—”

Merlin didn’t finish his question. His jaw went slack as he moaned a final time and came, shooting unrestricted into Arthur. Arthur felt the hot liquid fill him, then drip down the inside of his arse, and it was that along with one last stroke that brought him off soon after.

“Oh Christ, Merlin...”

It was reassuring to have Merlin’s cock still deep inside as Arthur came. He’d always liked the feeling, liked something to ground him as he drifted in the cloud of orgasm, something to hold onto as he floated back down. He still had a hand in Merlin’s hair, and curled his fingers tighter in the soaked strands as he climaxed.

Arthur felt every glorious centimetre as Merlin pulled out. He felt the rain—which had lessened to a mere drizzle—making an attempt to wash away the come between his legs. It seemed to be doing a better job there than on the splattered wall in front of him.

“Arthur,” Merlin exhaled, putting his forehead on the back of Arthur’s neck. His arms curled around Arthur’s waist in an embrace, and Arthur finally let himself give in and enjoy it.

Then he heard his name being called out in the gusting wind.

“ARTHUR!”

 _Fuck_. Whose voice was that? It was one of his friend’s, but he couldn’t make out the subtle difference in tones with the wind still blowing so hard, carrying it away. It didn’t matter now though; he quickly pulled up his pants and shorts from around his ankles while hoping Merlin was doing the same.

“ARTHUR!” it came again.

It was closer this time, close enough for Arthur to hear that it was Percival.

“Fuck,” he hissed. He fumbled with the zip, growling angrily when he did it too fast and it caught in his pants.

“Idiot,” Merlin muttered as he reached out to do it for him. He swatted Arthur’s hands away and had it pulled up in one clean motion, then deftly did the button.

“ARTH—”

Arthur sprung back and spun toward where Percival stood on the pavement at the end of the alley. Percival had gone completely motionless, his tongue still between his teeth to form the “th” of Arthur’s name. Arthur was so surprised that he was similarly speechless for a moment.

Just as Percival’s eyes slid to Merlin, Arthur heard Leon’s voice calling as well.

“MERLIN! ARTHUR!”

Merlin was the one who responded, making Arthur jump at the sudden volume. “We’re over here!”

Leon showed up beside Percival not three seconds later, clothes dripping from his body. Now that Arthur let himself look at more than just Percival’s stunned face, he saw that he was wet as well.

“Arthur, we’ve been searching everywhere!” Leon exclaimed, running up to him. He threw his arms around Arthur in a crush hug, and Arthur would’ve welcomed it any other time. Any time Percival wasn’t there to look too much into the action, staring at Arthur with a puzzled and considering expression.

“We’re both okay,” Arthur mumbled, looking away from Perce’s eyes.

“Why didn’t you answer your mobile?” Leon asked as he stepped back.

“It died.”

“I forgot mine at the house,” Merlin said.

“Yeah, Gwen found yours,” Leon replied, turning to Merlin. “Everyone was really worried.” He looked between them, furrowing his brow. “Why aren’t you wearing tops? Aren’t you freezing?”

He gave Merlin a look that Arthur could only decipher as ‘Didn’t I tell you to take care of him?’ Even with the worry of Percival in the forefront of his mind, Arthur couldn’t help being annoyed with Leon mothering him.

“We slept on the ground and they got dirty,” Arthur explained.

Apparently that’s when Percival came back to his senses.

“What the fuck?!”

Leon turned around and looked at Perce like he was mad. “What’s wrong?”

Perce raised a hand, gesturing between Merlin and Arthur, and sputtered. “They were just—They—I dunno what they were doing, but it involved zipping up their shorts!”

Arthur was sure his heart stopped, just for one beat. He’d had too many close calls this week, but this was the worst of them. This time he wasn’t sure he could make a smooth recovery.

And glancing at Merlin, Arthur saw that Merlin didn’t want him to. Like with Leon, Arthur could read it in his eyes. His eyes said everything.

_Tell him._

Leon looked back at Arthur, and Arthur tried to do the same, to relay some sort of message with his face without giving anything away to Percival. But it seemed Leon didn’t understand.

“What’s he talking about?” Leon asked.

“Nothing,” Arthur said. “I had to pee so I ducked into this alley. Don’t know why Perce is overreacting. You’d think he’d be happy to see me, too.”

 _Now_ Leon seemed to get it, after the fact. His eyes widened as he looked between Merlin and Arthur again, and Arthur tried a second time to mentally tell him to go along with it. Percival couldn’t know, no one else could know, not yet, not now, not when Arthur wasn’t ready.

“Oh.” Leon turned to Percival. “Perce, we found them, so let’s phone the others and head back, yeah?”

Percival didn’t look completely convinced, which, ironically, sort of offended Arthur. Had he not pulled off his image of playing the straight boy for the entirety of their friendship? And now Percival was doubting him? He’d thought he’d done rather well this whole time.

If Merlin hadn’t been there, Arthur would’ve spoken aloud, but because Merlin was, Arthur just quirked a brow. He knew Perce would get the meaning, the subtle message of ‘Really? You think I’d let a fairy feel me up?’

Beside him, Merlin suddenly huffed and pushed past Arthur, leaving the alley and turning in the direction Leon and Perce came from. Arthur felt a stab of pain in his chest when Merlin made sure to glare at him before walking out of sight.

“What the fuck is his problem?” Percival asked, jerking a thumb. “He come on to you and you had to fight him off or something?”

Arthur shrugged with as much nonchalance he could muster, even as he felt some of Merlin’s come leaking out of his still throbbing arse. “Something like that.”

“Perce,” Leon snapped.

“Fuck you!”

Arthur’s stomach lurched at the sound of Merlin’s voice, loud and just as angry as it had been before, only now more venomous. His heartbeat quickened as he saw Merlin walk back into view, hands balled into fists.

“Merlin—” Arthur tried.

“Do you always join in and ridicule me when I’m not around?”

“I wasn’t—”

“Is that the length you’ll go to keep your sodding secret?”

“What the hell’s he talking about?” Percival asked, looking between the three of them.

“Merlin, Arthur’s never ridiculed you,” Leon said, walking over to him with his hands raised reassuringly.

“What do you call that then? He didn’t have to go along with what Percival said, and he certainly didn’t try to defend me. He never has, even when you have, and you’re not even the one who’s gay.”

“Merlin, we had a fucking agreement!” Arthur yelled.

He couldn’t believe Merlin had done that. Arthur hadn’t said anything wrong. When had he ever helped ridicule Merlin besides the second time he’d seen him, at the beach?

Percival looked a mix of lost and shocked. “What?”

“And _you_ said you loved me!” Merlin shouted back.

Leon spun around, looking at Arthur incredulously. “You said what?”

Arthur was trapped. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t handle having everyone staring at him, demanding things of him. He couldn’t breathe, and he just wanted them all to shut up, for things to go back to the way they were.

“I...I mean I guess I—”

“He said he loved me,” Merlin said again. He tore his fiery eyes away from Arthur and looked to Percival. “While I had my cock up his arse and him moaning for it like a common whore.”

It was like the world stopped. Arthur hadn’t been prepared for that at all, not something so straightforward and shocking and maybe even a bit true. All he could do was stand there gaping as Merlin turned to storm off again.

Leon was the one who pushed Arthur out of his daze. “I’ll talk to him,” he said, squeezing Arthur’s shoulder. He ran off after Merlin, calling Merlin’s name.

Which left Arthur with Percival.

At least the rain had started to let up.

“Is it true?”

Arthur couldn’t read Percival’s expression. It seemed mostly blank—for now, anyway—more curious and puzzled than disgusted, which was good. Perhaps he was still at the disbelieving stage and not yet to the part where he couldn’t bear to look at Arthur anymore.

Arthur didn’t see the point in lying, not after everything seemed to be turning to shit anyway. Why had Merlin gone and done that? Why had he ruined everything when he said he wouldn’t?

Arthur took a deep breath. He considered closing his eyes, and even lowering them, but in the end decided that he wouldn’t let Percival see him so weakened. He’d do this the right way, strong and confident as he always had been. Or at least how he made himself appear to be.

He looked Perce in the eyes and said, “Yeah. It’s true.”

“But you’ve been with girls before.”

Arthur shook his head. “I’ve never fucked a girl. I’ve never even kissed one or ever wanted to.”

“You’ve been a fairy this whole time?”

There, there was the disgust. Or was it? The furrow of the brow looked like it, but Arthur couldn’t be sure.

He kept his voice as firm as he could, even though he was certain he was about to lose a friend.

“Yes.”

“And you like...you like cock?”

Another deep breath. “Yeah.”

“So you’ve just been pretending to be normal? You’ve been lying to us!”

Arthur frowned in confusion. “Hold on, what? What do you mean pretending to be normal? I’ve been pretending to like girls, that’s all.”

“That’s what I meant.”

“Well they’re not synonymous, you know!”

Perce looked lost. “What the hell are you talking about? What isn’t synonymous?”

“Being straight and being normal! Can I not be gay and normal?”

“Uh, Arthur, the majority of the population is straight. Majority equals normal.”

Arthur couldn’t believe how stupid the whole thing was. He couldn’t even justify his own anger because in some twisted way, that made sense. The majority of something was always classified as the norm, wasn’t it? It sounded like common sense, but it just...it just wasn’t.

“No, that’s...Shut up, you’re wrong. How can you even be certain about that?”

Percival gave Arthur a look like he was being daft, like he was a petulant child. “Arthur...”

“Does the majority of the population like being cuffed to a bed?!” Arthur yelled over him. Percival’s blush was bright red. “Last time I checked, that counted as deviant sexual behaviour as well.”

“It’s different!”

“How?”

“Because it’s...”

Arthur crossed his arms and waited.

“It’s not like I go around wearing a sign saying I like that stuff,” Perce finally said. “You poofs are always out and about holding hands or acting all gay—”

“Oh is that what it’s called, acting gay?”

“Well you would know, considering you acted straight for so long.”

Arthur actually stomped his foot in frustration, wanting to punch the wall beside him. No, wanting to punch Percival.

“I wasn’t acting like anything, you twat. I was being me and just hiding the fact that I like blokes! Why would that possibly have any effect on the rest of me?”

“Because it’s...I dunno, that’s how it is with Merlin and everyone else. Look, I’m not saying it’s a bad thing—”

“Oh? Really? Have you not always taken the piss out of anyone who seemed the slightest bit gay?”

“Well, yeah, but that’s like...Like making fun of someone with a lisp or something. I think it’s funny but it’s not like I’m against it.”

Arthur wasn’t even going to get into why that was a terrible example. Now wasn’t the time for a conversation like that, and he wanted to deal with the matter at hand first.

“As I was saying,” Perce continued, “I don’t think it’s a bad thing, just a weird thing. There’s nothing wrong with it being weird, it’s just different.”

Arthur sighed and shook his head as he started after Merlin and Leon. Percival really wasn’t helping his case, and Arthur was past the point of being able to deal with it. Maybe Merlin was right, and it wasn’t such a bad thing losing Perce as a friend if _this_ was how he thought. It hurt, because they’d had great times together, but if part of Arthur was “weird” to Percival, things were never going to work out between them again.

“Arthur!” Perce called after him, jogging to keep up.

“Just stop talking, Perce,” Arthur snapped. “I don’t wanna hear it.”

“What, I can’t ask any questions?”

“I’m five hundred percent positive I don’t want to hear any of your questions.” Arthur started walking faster, lengthening his strides.

“I just wanna know if this changes things, alright?” Perce asked, despite Arthur’s statement. “Will you start acting more like Merlin now that we know or will you still—”

Arthur spun on him, shoving him backward and getting no small amount of satisfaction from how far back he was pushed. “Merlin doesn’t _act_ like anything!” he yelled. “He acts bloody perfect, actually. And in case you didn’t hear the first time, I’m in fucking love with him, so try thinking before you open your mouth to say something for once.”

“I didn’t think—”

“Exactly. You _never_ think. You just say whatever comes to mind without thinking it might hurt someone else because it’s funny to you.”

Percival chuckled, though whether it was nervous or amused, Arthur honestly couldn’t tell. Either way, it made him angrier.

“For fuck’s sake, Arthur, it’s not that big of a deal. We’ve always joked like that, it’s not meant seriously. If it offended you then you should’ve said something before.”

“Why the fuck would I do that?” Arthur shouted. “You’re not the only one I know who thinks people like me are less deserving of respect. Morgana’s cunt of an husband likes to imitate us nancy boys too, gets a real kick out of it. You think I’m eager to tell him I’m into guys? You’ve treated Merlin like shit the whole week; why would I say anything that would get me treated the same way?”

“You’re my mate, it’s different! I know fuckall about Merlin!”

“So because you don’t know him, it’s okay to take the piss out of him, but because we’re friends you’d make an effort to be okay with it?”

“Yes! You’re a good friend and you’re cool and you’re fun to hang around. Sure I still think poofs are weird and their whole sex thing is gross, but I’m not so put off by it that I’d stop being friends with you.”

Arthur was still upset that Percival didn’t really get anything worth getting, and still irked by the fact that Percival thought he’d start behaving differently now that his secret was out, but at least there was one thing they could agree on—they didn’t want to lose each other’s friendship. As long as that remained, they might be able to work something out.

It was entirely possible that Arthur really wouldn’t talk to Perce ever again after this week. If they were going to go their separate ways, they were going to do it on good terms.

Sighing, Arthur thrust out his hand. He looked at Percival evenly, until he was sure that Percival understood what he was saying without words, that they were reaching an agreement. When Percival took Arthur’s hand, shaking it firmly, Arthur felt lighter than he ever had. This wasn’t the worst of what was to come—that would be talking to his father—but it was a large portion of his worries dealt with.

Percival’s grip turned forceful, nearly crushing Arthur’s hand. With a grin, Arthur returned the favour, squeezing Perce’s hand with every bit of strength until his fingers were numb. He pushed his brows together in determination, the veins in his forearm bulging from the expended force on his muscles.

Suddenly, Perce’s equally determined face turned surprised and he looked over Arthur’s shoulder. “Who’s that bloke Merlin’s with?”

Arthur twisted his neck around, which is when Perce gave a final squeeze over Arthur’s hand, hard enough that it felt like the bones in his fingers had been crushed. Arthur cried out in pain and hit Percival’s shoulder.

“Okay, okay, you win!”

“Ha! Too easy.”

“Twat,” Arthur murmured, stretching his aching hand.

“Like you ever win anyway.” Percival ruffled Arthur’s hair and Arthur swatted him away. “We both know I’m stronger,” he finished, raising his arms and flexing. Arthur rolled his eyes and turned around to start walking again.

It was great that Perce seemed to accept him, but now there was Gwaine to think of. Arthur wasn’t too worried about Lance, but Gwaine was a total mystery. He had seemed tolerant enough of Merlin the night before when they’d all been high. And it _had_ always been Percival who’d been the worst and most out there about it all. It was likely that Gwaine would be easier to tell.

If Merlin and Leon hadn’t got back and told everyone else already.

“So you and Merlin have been fucking?” Percival asked at a turn.

“Since our third night here, yeah. When everyone else thought I was ill.”

“What? You got laid before any of us?”

Arthur chuckled. Of course that’s what Perce would jump to. “I guess so. I never thought about it.”

“And you, uh...love him and all that?”

Arthur could see him rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly in the corner of his eye. They’d never been much for having heart to heart conversations; that was usually Leon, or even Lance on the rare occasion. It was actually weirder that Percival brought up the question on his own.

Arthur shrugged. “I know I only just met him but I’m pretty sure, yeah. It feels like how I think love is supposed to feel.”

“That’s so weird.”

Arthur couldn’t help how quickly he turned his head to look at him. Perce was just as quick to raise his hands defensively and clarify.

“Not like that. I just meant that I hardly even noticed. I’ve barely seen you two together and you both always act so...I dunno, like you don’t really talk. Just seems a bit out of nowhere.”

Arthur looked forward again, his eyes focused on the pavement. “Yeah, I told him to keep his distance.”

He’d told Merlin a lot of things. He hoped Merlin wasn’t still angry.

He started walking faster.

“Arthur, wait.”

Arthur reluctantly slowed his pace, but he knew Perce could easily keep up, being bigger and taller. He wasn’t in the mood for talking anymore now.

“What?”

“We’re okay, yeah? You’re not upset about those things I did?”

Arthur sighed in exasperation. “Yeah, I’m a bit upset, but it’s not going to change anything harping on it. It’s in the past, it’s done. Just don’t do any of it again, and we’re fine. Can we please focus on getting back now?”

Percival nodded and resumed Arthur’s earlier speed. “Yeah, we’re nearly there I think.”

☼ ☼ ☼

They were swarmed when they returned. Sefa especially seemed to attack Arthur with a clinging hug, and the only person who seemed more worried than her was Lancelot.

“Where the hell did you two go?” Gwen screamed after she’d got done fussing over him.

Arthur looked at the faces around him in confusion—Sefa, Gwen, Elena, Lancelot, Gwaine, and way in the back, Freya. He figured Leon was inside still talking to Merlin.

“Merlin didn’t say what happened?”

Freya was glaring at him, her brown eyes glittering angrily where they were rimmed with black eyeliner. “He hasn’t said anything since he and Leon got back,” she said flatly.

“He’s locked in your and Leon’s room with Leon,” Elena added. “Hasn’t even taken a shower, and he smells downright filthy. Did you two sleep outside?”

“Er, yeah, we fell asleep near the beach. How long have they been back?”

“Not too long,” Sefa answered. “Maybe ten minutes?”

Arthur extracted himself from the group and ran up the short staircase to the lower flat. He could hear them asking Percival questions behind him, and on second thought, wheeled around to look back at them.

“Perce!”

Percival’s head snapped up as he tore his eyes away from a frightening Freya.

“You can tell them,” Arthur said. He glanced at Gwaine before turning back around and dashing through the living room.

Unsurprisingly, the door was locked when Arthur tried it. He knocked hard, hard enough to make his urgency clear.

“Merlin, it’s Arthur, let me in.”

Arthur could just barely hear the hissed “Don’t let him in!” before he saw Leon standing in the doorway.

Arthur pushed past him, running to get to Merlin before Merlin could make it to the window and escape. He got hold of Merlin’s arm and held on tight, pulling toward him.

“Merlin, he knows,” Arthur insisted. “Percival knows everything and I said he could tell the others. That’s what he’s outside doing right now.”

Merlin stopped struggling, but he didn’t stop staring at Arthur with eyes full of fury. “Really?”

“Yes!”

“And you really didn’t say anything about me when I wasn’t around?”

“I told you he didn’t,” Leon said from behind Arthur.

Arthur raised a hand to shush him. “I didn’t. There were times when they were teasing you that I didn’t stop them, yeah, but there’s only one time I can think of that would count as joining in, and that was before we ever really talked.”

“When?”

Arthur sighed. “When we saw you at the beach on our second day here. I think I said something like, ‘he’s gay alright, just look at him.’ It wasn’t anything degrading, okay? I wouldn’t do that.”

“I can vouch for that,” Leon added.

Arthur rolled his eyes. He wanted to tell Leon to shut up, that he had this perfectly in hand. At least he thought so. Merlin didn’t look as angry anymore.

“And on the porch that night?” Merlin prompted. “When you said I disgusted you? That was right to my face, you know.”

“Merlin, I hated doing that! I only said those things to get you to leave me alone because it was bad enough you were fit, then you had to start groping me.”

“I did not grope you!”

“Whatever. It was hard enough resisting without that added into things, and I was just trying to get you away. I thought you knew that, considering you did it again the next night. And succeeded, by the way.”

Merlin smirked, so Arthur figured he was in the clear for now. He loosened his grip on Merlin’s arm, sliding down until he had Merlin’s hand in his own.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “It’ll never happen again.”

Merlin looked thoughtful a moment, his lips curved up in a way that Arthur could only think of as devious. He had a feeling he wouldn’t like where Merlin’s thoughts were headed.

“Alright. You just have to do one more thing to make it up to me.”

Arthur sighed, but acquiesced. “What?”

“Come on,” Merlin said, leading Arthur out.

Arthur swallowed and kept his eyes on the back of Merlin’s head as they exited the room. Everyone was in the living area now, standing around talking at once. They quieted when Merlin and Arthur entered.

And all eyes dropped to their joined hands.

“Merlin!” Gwen nearly shrieked. “How could you not tell us?”

“Arthur didn’t want me to,” Merlin said simply.

“Yeah, but we wouldn’t’ve told those other tossers,” Elena said.

“Elena, I’ve seen you when you’re pissed,” Merlin replied.

“Well...”

“Percival said since the third night?” Lance asked, looking at Arthur.

“Uh, yeah. It wasn’t you I had a problem with telling really, just the other two.”

“Oi!” Gwaine yelled. “I’ve no problem with poofs. They’re just like handicapped people, yeah?”

Leon, seemingly from nowhere, groaned. “Oh my God, Gwaine, shut up—”

“No, hear me out! They’re just like handicapped people. Nothing wrong with ‘em, they’re just different, easy to make fun of, you know? It’s not like I get a hard-on every time I joke about it, it’s just something to comment on.”

Arthur blinked, and beside him, Merlin seemed equally confused.

“Should I be offended?” Merlin asked Arthur quietly.

“I’m not actually sure. I don’t feel offended, but I also can’t tell if I was just compared to a handicapped person.”

“I don’t either, but I feel like I should be,” Merlin agreed. “Or at least that handicapped people should be offended.”

Gwaine walked behind them and slung his arms over their shoulders. “Nobody should be offended. You’re both alright blokes. Doesn’t mean I won’t still enjoy taking the piss out of you, princess.”

Arthur sighed and shrugged Gwaine’s arm off. He supposed he could live with that.

“Great,” Merlin said, shrugging Gwaine off as well. “There’s just one thing left. Arthur agreed to do something for me to make up for the secrecy.”

Arthur felt butterflies in his stomach and only hoped the task wasn’t something mortifying, like saying he loved Merlin in front of everyone.

Merlin cleared his throat and leaned in to whisper in Arthur’s ear. Arthur fought off the shiver as he felt Merlin’s breath ghost across his skin.

“Tell them you’re a blond little pansy with crooked teeth.”

“What!”

Merlin giggled. “You heard me.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Nope.”

Arthur groaned. They were all looking at him expectantly, eager to see what he’d do.

“Did he tell you to kiss him?” Elena asked.

“Holy shit, I just realised!” Gwaine exclaimed. “I’ve never seen Arthur kiss anyone. Ever.”

Lance tilted his head thoughtfully. “Oh. Wow, you’re right.”

“He didn’t tell me to bloody kiss him!” Arthur said, blushing.

“Arthur,” Merlin nudged. “Do it.”

Arthur took a deep breath. “I guess. Uh. I’mablondlittlepansywithcrookedteeth.”

Freya quirked a brow. “Sorry?”

Arthur shook his head. “No way, not saying it again. There, Merlin, it’s done. Happy?”

Merlin shrugged. “Good enough.”

He kissed Arthur’s cheek, making Arthur gasp in surprise. Arthur managed to keep the grin off his face for all of two seconds before Elena and Gwen starting cooing over the two of them.

☼ ☼ ☼

It was their last night and it felt like it. They’d all be leaving tomorrow and every second was precious.

They got drunk.

“It’s so weird seeing Arthur like that,” Arthur heard someone say.

He couldn’t really make out whose voice it was, and didn’t really care. Merlin had draped himself over Arthur’s lap like an octopus, straddling Arthur where he was seated on the sofa before proceeding to snog him boldly in front of everyone. Arthur had panicked at first, but then calmed down when he heard what had to be Gwaine saying he couldn’t let Arthur show him up. He was fairly certain the intertwined bodies next to him were Gwaine and Elena, and he was just pissed enough not to care too much about anyone staring.

“It’s weird seeing _Merlin_ like that,” another voice said.

Merlin’s hips rolled forward and Arthur moaned as their cocks slid together. He grabbed handfuls of Merlin’s arse and pulled him closer, gasping when the friction made the fire in his groin flare. Merlin’s tongue pushed deeper into Arthur’s mouth, taking advantage of the chance to devour him further.

“How? Hasn’t Merlin been with guys before?”

“Only a few times, and we’ve never really seen him. Certainly not like _that_.”

Merlin pulled away, and Arthur whined before he could think to stop himself, making himself feel better only by pressing his lips to Merlin’s newly bared throat.

“Would you all shut up, for fuck’s sake?” Merlin said breathlessly. “I can hear you, you know.”

“So get a room!” someone else yelled. It took a few seconds, but Arthur soon decided that was definitely Freya’s voice.

With the movement of Merlin’s hips getting more and more frantic, Arthur was inclined to agree with her. Drunk as he was, he may have had less inhibition when it came to handsy snogging, but he still wasn’t anything like Gwaine, comfortable enough to go any further in front of everyone else. He didn’t even want to slide a hand up Merlin’s shirt where the others could see.

“Come on, Merlin, let’s go,” Arthur mumbled into the curve of Merlin’s neck.

Merlin groaned in complaint and leaned forward to whisper in a voice that wasn’t quite low enough to count as a whisper. “Your turn to top.”

Arthur blushed as he heard someone spitting out their drink, and quickly pushed Merlin off his lap to stand up and lead him from the room. The sound of laughter didn’t completely manage to cover the sound of Percival’s, “I don’t even wanna think about it.”

But at last they were alone in Arthur’s bedroom, the door shut and locked. Merlin kissed Arthur as though he’d never stopped, pressed him up against the door and devoured him all over again. Now Arthur let his hand slide up Merlin’s shirt, fingernails grazing skin as he pulled him closer.

“Want you,” Merlin panted, rutting his cock over Arthur’s thigh. “Same way I gave it to you earlier. Want to be able to feel you even when I’m back home.”

Arthur moaned and pushed forward, holding Merlin by the hips as he navigated toward the bed. “Yeah, okay. Wanna do something first though. Take off your clothes.”

Arthur tried not to think about how this would be the last time he’d see Merlin’s body for months, the last time he’d be able to trace the winding dragon tattoo with his eyes or run a hand up long, hairy legs to that gorgeous cock. He focused on taking advantage of the moment, he planned on worshipping Merlin’s body the way he’d wanted to the first night but was too nervous to.

After crawling up the bed to sit against the headboard, Arthur gestured for Merlin to come closer. Merlin looked puzzled, but shuffled forward anyway, until he was kneeling over Arthur again.

Arthur ran his hands up the side of Merlin’s thighs, took a deep breath to fill his lungs with the scent of Merlin’s sex. He let his hands stay anchored on Merlin’s hips, let his fingers curl to gently cup Merlin’s arse, and finally, _finally_ , leaned forward to lick up the drop of precome leaking from the cock just in front of face.

“Th-This is what you want?” Merlin asked.

His voice was strained, but Arthur wasn’t paying much attention. Looking up through his lashes at Merlin, he nodded, then let his tongue slide slowly out to lick up the long shaft, gliding across hot skin. It was so good, so perfect, so wonderfully tangy-sweet that Arthur had to close his eyes and savour it, even as Merlin shuddered before him.

He was achingly hard, and he could feel for himself that Merlin was too, that Merlin was shaking with the need to race to the finish. But he forced himself to take his time, tightened his hold on Merlin’s hips to keep him in place, and attacked from all sides, curling his tongue over the dripping head before giving a wet suck, kissing the veiny underside and pushing his nose into the curls. Merlin was whimpering, his fingers digging into Arthur’s shoulders, but Arthur just stroked him soothingly, pleading silently to take this at his leisure.

And then it was as if his throat was entirely too empty, and he couldn’t stuff his mouth quick enough. He pulled back and slid the length into his mouth in one smooth motion, far enough that he gagged himself and brought prickling tears to his own eyes, then slid back and forward again, as deep as he could given Merlin’s girth.

Arthur wasn’t sure what to classify the noises Merlin was making as—somewhere between a moan and a sob, but definitely not an unpleasant sound. Merlin’s hands moved to the back of Arthur’s head and Arthur let them, let Merlin do the holding in place for once as he thrust his hips forward and forced his cock deeper down Arthur’s throat. It was like that first night all over again, spit dripping from Arthur’s mouth and his jaw burning with ache, but it was better, better because now it wasn’t just sex between two regular blokes, but sex between two blokes in love. Even as Merlin’s fingers twisted tighter in Arthur’s hair, they simultaneously felt gentle and compassionate, every action a result of the bond they shared.

Arthur wanted to swallow it all. He moved a hand from Merlin’s arse to the base of Merlin’s cock, cupping the balls in his palm and stroking the remaining length. He raised his eyes to Merlin’s again, hoping that Merlin would understand what he was silently saying.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll give it you, Arthur,” Merlin gasped. “So close, nearly there, gonna give you everything love, just—just— _God!_ ”

Arthur had tasted his own come before, but only small drops off his fingers. Nothing like this. Nothing like the sensation of all of it shooting into his mouth at once, bitter and thick and nearly enough to choke him. It wasn’t the best thing he’d tasted, and halfway through he worried he’d made the wrong decision, but then he looked up at Merlin again, eyes glazed and expression utterly satisfied, and that was enough to see him through to the end. When Merlin’s hands fell limply away to the side, he let Merlin slip out, and swallowed the thick fluid down.

Merlin was still catching his breath and sitting back on his heels when Arthur wiped his mouth with his hand. It looked like he was shaking, but Arthur couldn’t quite tell.

“Need another minute?” Arthur asked hoarsely.

Merlin nodded at first, but then seemed to snap out of it and shook his head. He scrambled off the bed and rifled through the pockets of his shorts for lube before tossing it to Arthur and laying himself out atop the mattress.

“Don’t use a condom,” he said, spreading his legs and raising his arse. “Only fair since I didn’t use one earlier.”

Arthur moved behind Merlin, situating himself between Merlin’s legs. “Like this?”

“Yeah. Actually, wait.” Merlin pushed himself up and crawled forward a bit, until his hands were securely on the headboard, his body more perpendicular to the bed. “Like this.”

Arthur had never seen a sight more beautiful than Merlin stretched out, hole fluttering open eagerly. He remembered thinking just a few days earlier that a whole lifetime wouldn’t be long enough to do the things he wanted to with Merlin, and now that seemed truer than ever. Arthur caressed the round globes of Merlin’s arse reverently, committing the feel of them under his hands to memory.

“Arthur, please,” Merlin breathed. He pushed his arse back impatiently, his spine sloping downward.

Arthur lowered his head to the puckered rim, pressing a kiss just above it. “We have the whole night,” he said. “I want to make it last.”

_I want to worship you._

He didn’t say that. He would never say that.

Merlin let out a heavy exhale, but otherwise didn’t complain. Arthur opened the packet of lube over Merlin’s arse, pouring it into his hand and applying it quickly. Merlin was still so loose and worked open from all the previous times that Arthur could slide a finger in easily, teasing a moan out of him.

“Arthur, if you don’t stick your cock in me right fucking now—”

“Alright, alright,” Arthur said, chuckling.

He stroked his cock a few times, getting it slick as he shuffled forward a bit more. He held himself straight with one hand, caressing Merlin’s arse again with the other, pushing in slowly, slowly...

Merlin shoved himself back all at once, taking Arthur in suddenly. Arthur felt a bit breathless, and placed his hands on Merlin’s hips to keep him still while he composed himself.

He just needed a few seconds. He needed a moment to close his eyes and feel the contours of Merlin’s insides moulding to his cock, clenching around him all hot and wet and perfect. He’d been inside Merlin before, but now it felt glorious, felt like being encompassed by the sweetest, tightest mouth imaginable. He needed a few moments to process every little sensation.

Arthur snapped his eyes open when he heard Merlin whining impatiently, feeling Merlin’s weight shifting on the bed. With a deep breath, Arthur slid slowly out before pushing back in, and when Merlin let out a low moan, Arthur did it again.

Arthur heard a slap, but didn’t connect it to the act of Merlin’s hand landing on the back of his thigh until he felt Merlin’s nails start digging into his skin. He slid his right knee forward a bit, hoping that was what Merlin wanted, hoping it bettered the angle enough to satisfy him, and wasn’t disappointed when he saw Merlin’s other hand start curling more firmly over the headboard.

“Come on, come on,” Merlin urged.

Arthur picked up speed, breathless and panting and awed by the sight of his naked cock pumping into Merlin, and had to clench his own arse, flexing the muscles in his thighs to keep up a steady, forceful rhythm. He loved the sounds they were making now, loved that he didn’t have to worry about them being overheard, that the sound of skin making contact didn’t have to be stifled just because there were people in the next room. He loved that Merlin sounded as much like a porn star as Arthur probably had earlier, but that the noises of pleasure weren’t exaggerated in the slightest, that the “oh oh oh” spilling from Merlin’s lips were shaky and breathy and seemed to perfectly punctuate every thrust of Arthur’s hips.

Arthur moved his hands to the headboard, his left settled right beside Merlin’s, and held tighter for purchase as he thrust harder. He was close now, could feel the heat and tension coiling together and making his balls draw up, and it was just a matter of a few more deep plunges. Just a few more stuttered snaps of his hips, hard enough to force a breath out of Merlin, hard enough to push him forward—

Arthur’s eyes shut as he came, and he let out a long exhale as he felt himself pulsing against the walls of Merlin’s arse, emptying into him. He let his head drop to the dip between Merlin’s sweaty shoulders, and slowly slid out as he caught his breath.

“Nnn,” Merlin groaned beneath him. “Think you broke me.”

Arthur chuckled breathlessly. “In a good way, hopefully.”

“Definitely in a good way.”

Arthur sighed and slumped to the bed, and the cool pillow felt heavenly against his cheek. He wanted to do it again, wanted to make the most of his last night with Merlin, but he was so knackered, so bloody tired, and couldn’t quite keep his eyes from sliding closed.

He felt Merlin’s weight drop beside him, and then a puff of hot air across his face as Merlin exhaled. Merlin’s breath still smelled like alcohol. Arthur wondered if his breath smelled like Merlin’s come.

“Too hot to cuddle. But I want to,” Merlin mumbled.

“I don’t cuddle,” Arthur muttered back.

“Yes you do.”

“No, I don’t.”

“What d’you call what you did last night then?”

Arthur pushed his hand forward, hoping it would connect with some part of Merlin’s body and shove him. He ended up shoving Merlin’s hip.

“I was using you as a pillow.”

“Uh huh.”

Arthur rolled over, turning his back to Merlin. Not even two seconds had passed before he felt Merlin moving closer, curling an arm around him.

“ _Mer_ lin—”

“I don’t wanna stop touching you.”

Arthur didn’t expect his heart to clench at the words, or for his breath to catch in his throat. But he couldn’t deny Merlin now, not when he’d put it like that.

Arthur didn’t want to stop touching him either.

“At least let’s get under the duvet, even if it is too hot,” Arthur said. “I doubt Leon wants to walk in and see us like this in the middle of the night.”

“Alright.”

After a bit of shuffling, they managed to find a comfortable position, and even though they were both hot and sweaty enough for their skin to stick together, Merlin seemed just as reluctant as Arthur to put too much distance between them. And after considering it, Arthur figured that since he would probably be wishing for the opportunity to have this in just a few short hours, he ought to embrace even this small discomfort.

The best discomfort he could possibly hope for.


	8. Day 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The quarrels of lovers are like summer storms. Everything is more beautiful when they have passed." 
> 
> \- Madame Necker

Arthur awoke dripping with sweat, and lost no time in pushing the duvet off. He groaned and wiped his forehead before opening his eyes.

“Morning.”

The sound of Merlin’s voice made Arthur jump, but he quickly calmed down when he saw Merlin looking up at him, lying on his side. Without a second thought, Arthur lunged over and embraced him, holding the smaller boy tight to his chest.

“Oh. _Good_ morning then,” Merlin managed.

Arthur pulled away and cleared his throat. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Merlin replied, chuckling. His hand trailed down the side of Arthur’s face, and even though Arthur knew he was blushing, he let himself enjoy it. It was strange and different but also somewhat exhilarating letting someone be so intimate and gentle with him.

He liked it.

“What time’s your flight leave?” Merlin asked.

Arthur had to sort through a load of mental information. He hadn’t been thinking about it at all. There’d be cleaning up to do, the owners of the house to speak to, packing up, finding time to eat before they left...

“Four, I think.”

“We leave around two.” Merlin took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “If I start crying, don’t comment on it.”

“Okay.”

Arthur twisted his neck to look over his shoulder. Leon wasn’t in his bed, and it didn’t look like he’d come back last night. He probably slept upstairs with Sefa.

“We should shower soon,” Merlin said.

Arthur turned back to him, looking into Merlin’s reopened eyes. “Yeah.”

Merlin slid his fingers into Arthur’s hair, scratching the base of Arthur’s neck where his roots were the sweatiest. “Let’s stay in bed a while, though,” he said.

Arthur let his head fall back to pillow, sinking down with a heavy sigh. “Yeah.”

☼ ☼ ☼

Arthur was glad Merlin knew not to make a scene when it was finally time for them to part. The last couple of hours had been mostly frantic cleaning of their separate flats, making sure everything was just as it had been when they’d arrived. When they gathered one last time at the foot of the stairs outside the house, waiting for the cab to arrive, it was only the desperate squeeze of his hand that let Arthur know affected Merlin was.

“It’s only one term and then we can see each other again at Christmas,” Merlin whispered.

Arthur glanced at where everyone else was positioned—Lance and Gwen on the top step of the porch, Gwaine and Elena leaning against the railing, Perce standing awkwardly by a disinterested Freya, Leon with his arms wrapped around a silent Sefa, while Merlin and himself sat in the chairs by the kitchen window. He couldn’t tell if they were just as absorbed in their own goodbyes, but then decided he didn’t care, not when this was the last time he’d speak to Merlin in person for so long.

“Yeah,” Arthur replied. “We’ll work something out.”

“Have you thought about how you’ll convince your dad?”

“No. Saving it for later.”

It would probably take up most of his thoughts on the flight home. He supposed planning ahead for that conversation was better than lingering on how much he would miss Merlin. He’d have to think of every possible argument he might try to make against his father in order to get him to allow it.

Otherwise, he wondered how far Leon’s family would go to help him, considering they’d always thought of him as an unofficial son.

“If he doesn’t agree?” Merlin asked.

Arthur responded by squeezing Merlin’s hand back. “Then it’s just a few short years, right?”

“Arthur.”

“Kidding.”

Merlin sighed and his head fell to Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur hesitated a moment, but then gave in and tilted his as well, pressing his cheek to the top of Merlin’s head. It was so warm. He felt so content. He didn’t want it to end.

“Ring me, yeah?” Merlin said.

“Mhm.”

Arthur’s stomach sank when he saw the cab driving up, and almost against his will, he found himself clutching Merlin tighter. He couldn’t breathe, he thought for sure he was going to cry, and it felt like a hole was being drilled through his chest.

Arthur figured Leon and Lance had to be feeling at least a fraction of the same way, and he did hear what sounded like one of the girls sniffling, but he was too focused on Merlin to pay anyone else much attention. He did know that of everyone else, they were the last to move when the cab finally pulled up, that they lingered together the longest.

“Do you love me, Arthur?” Merlin asked softly, lips against Arthur’s ear.

Arthur swallowed past the lump in his throat and lowered his face to Merlin’s shirt, pretending to inhale the familiar scent one last time when he was really wiping away a stray tear in the fabric.

“Yeah, Merlin. Yeah, I love you.”

Their kiss wasn’t nearly long enough, but Arthur didn’t want to keep anyone waiting, or risk Merlin being late. He would dream about those lips, would lie awake at night imagining he could still feel them on his own. He would dream of inky dragons swirling on creamy skin, of a low voice murmuring in his ear.

And he would never forget those eyes, the bluest eyes he’d ever seen.

“Bye, I guess.”

Arthur traced the curve of Merlin’s ear one last time with his thumb, circling around before caressing Merlin’s cheek and trailing off at the dimple in his chin.

“Bye.”

☼ ☼ ☼

The cab wasn’t even completely out of sight before Arthur’s mobile buzzed with a text.

_\- hi -_

Arthur laughed, and ignored the puzzled looks from the others. He shook his head and grinned stupidly at his phone.

_< hey  >_ he sent back.


	9. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."
> 
> \- George R.R. Martin, _A Game of Thrones_

“Hello, Arthur.”

It took a few seconds for Arthur to be able to reply to his father. He stood there with his bags, mouth open and ready to form words, but somehow felt his father could see straight through him. He felt like every dirty action he’d done in Avalon was written all over his body.

He could still feel the lingering ache in his arse whenever he clenched.

“Hello, Father.”

“Are you hungry?”

“No.”

Arthur’s father nodded, and without another word, he turned to go back to his study. Arthur exhaled and started making his way up the spiralling staircase, all the way to the room he hadn’t been in for weeks.

His bed was just as he remembered it, soft and warm, with the pillows arranged exactly how he liked it. The room smelled the same, and though the air was a bit dank, it wasn’t unpleasant. Arthur put off unpacking for just a few minutes to bask in the contentedness of being home.

But then he could put it off no longer.

He’d decided not to tell his father the whole truth. It was true enough that he’d never really wanted to go to Oxford, he’d just never cared enough about any other school in particular to make a fuss about it. All he had to do was explain that he’d changed his mind and wanted to transfer to St. Andrews.

Arthur started off unpacking as leisurely as possible, but then figured that he shouldn’t bother holding off the inevitable. He was going to have to approach his father sooner or later, and the later it got, the more likely it was that Uther would tell him to speak with him the next day.

Arthur wouldn’t be able to handle lying awake, uncertain of his father’s decision.

Standing outside the door to his father’s study, it was only the image of Merlin that gave him courage to knock. He used more force than he realised, and the volume of his knuckles on the wood made him wince.

Arthur poked his head in after waiting the customary second and a half proceeding the knock. His father seemed to be busy because his brow was furrowed in concentration and his fingers were flying over the keys of his laptop, but Arthur couldn’t be sure if it was too important to disturb him for.

“What is it?” Uther asked, not looking away from the screen before him.

Arthur took a deep breath and walked in, taking a few steps toward the desk. His father seemed the same as ever in some ways and yet so much older in others. His hair seemed more grey, and his cheekbones seemed to jut out more prominently, making him appear almost skeletal.

“It’s about school,” Arthur began.

“Yes, you start in nearly a month. What about it?”

 _Best to just say it,_ Arthur thought.

“I’m thinking of transferring after the second term.”

The sound of typing ceased, leaving only their breathing to fill the silence. Uther still, however, didn’t raise his eyes to Arthur’s.

“Why is that?”

“I want to.”

Uther chuckled, and resumed his earlier work, shaking his head in amusement. “It doesn’t exactly matter what you _want_. What matters is what you need, and what you need is a good education.”

“I can get that just as well somewhere that isn’t Oxford.”

“You’ve already been accepted, it’d be stupid to change your mind now.”

“I never wanted to go there anyway. _You_ wanted me to and I just didn’t argue.”

“And where is it you think you’re transferring to?”

“Saint Andrews.”

The typing ceased again, and that was when his father finally did look at him, meeting Arthur’s eyes firmly. Arthur clasped his hands in front of him, turning his elbows out and adjusting his shoulders so that his sweating armpits had a bit more room to breathe.

“What is this really about, Arthur?” Uther asked. “Did you meet someone who’s going there? Is that it?”

Arthur looked at the gleaming wood of his father’s desk, frowning. He supposed he should’ve foreseen the question, in hindsight.

“Arthur?”

“I...Yes.”

_Shit, why did I say that?_

“Then absolutely not,” Uther stated. “I’m not letting you make a decision just because you think you’re in love. You’re young, it’ll pass.”

That wasn’t true.

Arthur didn’t want to believe it was true.

He shook his head. “No. No, you’re wrong. I do love hi—”

Uther’s eyes—which had lowered to the screen again—abruptly popped back up. Arthur had stopped himself, or tried, but apparently the essential vowel sound had still got through.

Arthur had to remind himself to breathe.

Swallowing was out of the question, however.

“I must have misheard. Surely you did not say ‘him.’”

Arthur opened his mouth. He saw Merlin’s smiling face, Merlin’s glittering blue eyes.

No words came out.

“It’s a phase,” his father continued regardless. “And even more of a reason not to follow this foolish path.”

“What?”

“The answer is no.”

“It’s not a phase!”

“Arthur.”

Arthur stepped forward, leaning his balled hands on the desk. “It’s not a phase,” he said again.

 _Yes, anger is good,_ he told himself. _I can do this if I’m angry. Like with Percival._

“Arthur,” Uther repeated, quirking a brow in warning.

“I’ve been this way as long as I can remember,” Arthur went on. “When have I ever expressed interest in a girl, or even talked about dating? I’ve always liked blokes and now I’m in love with one.”

_Oh my God, what have I just said?_

Arthur had expected disgust, or even a bit of disapproval, but not just a stern look, the same one he always got when he was being unreasonable.

“If you give up this opportunity for some boy, I won’t be paying for it.”

“I thought as much.”

“I’ll fund the two terms at Oxford, but after that, you’ll have to figure something else out. You’ll be on your own.”

“I know.”

There were always loans and things, right? Or he could work part-time? Or if he was especially desperate, he could beg Leon’s parents to help him. Even Morgana if it came to that.

Uther sighed and shook his head solemnly, looking back to his laptop. “You’re making the wrong decision, Arthur. I thought I raised you better than this. Decisions made based on emotion rarely turn out to be good ones.”

“Maybe this will be one of those rare times then.”

Because Arthur wasn’t sure he could handle being in the room a minute longer, he turned and left.

It wasn’t until he got back to his room and sat on his bed that he realised the weight of his father’s words. It wouldn’t be immediate, the effect of his choice, but soon. There were things he’d have to do now, plans he’d have to set in motion so that he could be prepared. But he was certain Merlin was worth it. He didn’t know what exactly he wanted to do with his life yet, what career he wanted to follow, but he knew he wanted to be happy. Merlin made him happy, of that he was certain.

Arthur went to his mobile where it was charging on his desk, and sat in his desk chair.

_< i told my father everything  >_

Arthur didn’t have to wait long for the reply.

_\- everything? -_

_< everything  >_

_\- do you have a webcam? -_

Arthur glanced up at the circle in the centre of the top of his laptop instinctively.

_< yeah, why?  >_

_\- so we can talk. and i can play my violin for you if you like. -_

_\- also... -_

Arthur waited a few moments for what the “also” entailed, then gasped when he opened Merlin’s next message.

There was Merlin’s cock, hard, in the middle of the screen, a close enough view that Arthur could see the red flush of blood flowing through the shaft. He groaned and swallowed the spit quickly filling his mouth.

His laptop certainly took its sweet time turning on. Then Arthur thought, _Fuck it, I have Skype on my phone_.

It was just a matter of typing in Merlin’s username and sending a contact request before calling. The visual was a bit blurry, but there Merlin was, sitting cross-legged on a bed and grinning as he lazily stroked his cock.

“Miss me, baby?”

**Author's Note:**

> Fic playlist [here](http://neuroticnick.tumblr.com/post/113132830252) if you're interested.


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